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Fleur Du Mal -> RE: Collab: Poems From the Heart OOC and Comments (2/7/2009 10:40:15)
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@Crimzon: Lol, umm, what part of the poem did exactly remind you of that? Just curious. =P
I really like your ending lines in both of the poems, btw. Especially the last three lines in the Desire's End.
Hmm. The Helen of Troy might be the one piece here that is most close to a "traditional" Valentine's poem. At least so far, who knows what further additions we will still see.
@Firefly: *fabula gives Firefly cookies and a cup of tea*
No, you are not wrong at all. I was trying to create an abstract statement for love, empathy and gentleness being better to reign instead of 'eye-for-an-eye' policy, so I scribbled this poem against any barricade of distrust and hate people are so prone to erect between each other by references to two real, solid walls. And the other one I'm referring to is indeed the Berliner Mauer or the Berlin Wall that used to separate the West and East Berlin up until one November day in 1989.
The original sketched version had even more direct references to it; like 'born with the same history, speaking the same language we have been taught to shame', but they didn't quite fit in.
However, if the poem were more tightly bound to the Berliner Mauer, I really couldn't name it the Wall of Hate. Maybe the Wall of Suspicion... So, in addition to the "abstract idea", there are hints about another real wall as well, to which the title would fit better and which has been built in the recent past and is still standing. To that too I had /very/ direct references, but chose to remove them in fear of turning the poem too political instead of being "idealistic-love-goes-through-walls" thingy for Valentine. =P
To your poem:
There's a really nice interplay of words in this line:
quote:
And I’ll stand outside the club like a troublesome decoration discarded by the bouncer,
I can't find any better explanation to why I like it.
I love your last line as well.
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