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Maegwyn -> Issue 39 - Scholar Journals: Candy Hearts of DOOM (Clyde) (2/8/2009 12:20:57)
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Scholar Journals: Candy Hearts of DOOM
By Clyde
Clyde here archiving the very deep mysteries and ever puzzling intricacies that make up Lore. Why you ask? That is because it's what Scholars of Lore do. Though we do not travel in groups we do collaborate our information and archive it within the Grand Archives. For if we do not research and collect info about everything that makes this wonderful world then why bother asking why?
Anyways enough introduction and more into the matter at hand. Coming shortly is Hero's Heart Day, sometimes referred to as SnuggleFest. The time where all Lorians express their love and caring towards one another. It's a pretty simple holiday and yet one thing that intrigues me the most is... this candy.
While within a clearly placed bush I was taking notes on the ever illustrious MaZard,* who was finding food for her Zardlings. I have waited months for this opportunity and had almost finished my notes when suddenly I stepped upon something which made an incredibly large SNAP. The MaZard got scared and ran away, sure I was mad, but mainly at what I had stepped on.
When I looked down I discovered that it was in fact a strange heart-shaped candy that looked like chalk. Shortly after my eyes and feet were following a trail of them, each with different little messages engraved upon them. "Go back" one said, "Ruuuuuuuuun" the other one said, and another one said "It's a Trap!"
The messages didn't concern and were obviously just trying to keep me away from a mystery. I continued until one exclaimed, "STOP." I looked up to find myself in front a dark and oh-so mysterious cave. With a smirk on my face and a willing for adventure I turned and walked away from the dark mysterious cave. Suddenly I was hit on the back of the head by one of those chalk candy hearts, but this one was the size of a baseball. The message read, "RAWR" then I was hit again in the face. Instead this one read "Run hoooomun."
I approached the cave dodging each chalky heart thrown at me. Upon entering the cave I discovered a powdered blue zard** no bigger than your average zard. Without hesitation it devoured a rock and moments later shot four or five hearts at me. While taking notes of this interesting creature I dodged each heart without any effort or breaking a sweat*** The zard continued it's attack and I dodged like an ever so elegant Ninja Cleric. Well... until I tripped over one of the hearts and landed on my backside. Out of interest I picked up one of the hearts and written on it was a message. "Whoa, this isn't appropriate language."
"My mother did NOT do that!" I said after going through some more of the hearts. "These aren't nice and caring at all!" The zard finally tired and I took this opportunity to lightly tap it on the head with a rock I found. I brought the little zard to the Aria and told her the whole story she took it in since it was a pretty rare Zard around these parts.
After I made sure the zard was ok I left town again to continue on with my research.
*Motherus Zardius
**After only a handful of years researching I still can't tell a Zard's gender.
***like a hero from DragonBall Z.
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