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Eukara Vox -> Issue 40 - Wanted: The LepreCon Artist (Clyde) (3/11/2009 16:06:10)
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Wanted: The LepreCon Artist
by: Clyde
As I write this wanted poster on toilet paper with an improvised writing utensil made of crushed bugs and a stick, I wonder how I let that elusive leprechaun get me.
MC LepreCon was his name and scamming was his game. He was not like your average leprechaun, whose down-to-earth clothing allowed him to blend in with his surroundings. No, his emerald green suit was trimmed in gold and the ruby cufflinks sparkled in the sun. And that tie...that dang gold and green striped tie with a clover-shaped clock tie-tack, downright gaudy. I can still see his rough-looking red beard, large nose, coal eyes, and the angry expression that never left his face...
*Cue Memory Lane*
It was a bright and sunny day, just like any other day. I was walking down a rusted red and gray brick paved road when suddenly this leprechaun approached some random barbarian from the shadows of an overly cliche alley. It looked suspicious, so I hid behind a certain fruit stand to see what was going down.
I overheard him talking to the barbarian. "How would you like your wildest dreams come true and earn all the riches in the world of Lore?" Of course the barbarian nodded in agreement. "All you need to do is place your weapons, armor, and any other anti-magical equipment you have into this box in order to trade your worldly possessions in for something better."
The barbarian proceeded to unload his equipment. As I watched him, I decided that sitting around and letting this happen was not the right course of action.
"Stop this scam!" I interrupted.
The Leprechaun was taken by surprise. He leaped back and took out some kind of golden weapon. He screamed into it and suddenly strange bard music began playing. "Wazzup hero? How would you like your weapons to go to zero?" Quickly I drew my sword and threw it towards him.
"What the? What is this?" I asked in shocked.
"Aww is Mr. Hero scared? Well looks like he's also unprepared." This weird singing had a hypnotic effect on me, it was controlling me like I was a puppet. "A one, a two, a three, and a four. Soon Mr. Hero would be down against dah' floor." I fell to the ground as he finished. How was I going to win? I thought to myself.
He stopped for a moment and looked at the tiny clock fixed on his tie. "Well, well, well, looks like all is fine. Now I gotta jet so kiss my behind." He ran off and there was nothing I could do about it...
*End Memory Lane*
So, if you have seen this leprechaun rapper, please stop him and his crime spree. There is a large sum of gold awaiting the person who finds this "artist" and brings him to justice! What they...What was that sound? Hmm, what was that sound?
"Well howdy do Mr. Hero, with your paper and pen. Looks like I've found your silly mug again..."
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