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smbdoll -> Issue 41 - My Computers are Alive ... and Thinking (Sentharn) (4/6/2009 14:46:49)
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My Computers are Alive...And Thinking.
by Sentharn
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Oh dear, Master is awake! Quick, Laggy, stop wasting your CPU cycles on that stupid simulation and act like a real server!
Don't give me that. I get bored at night. Even servers need to have their fun, you know... But you see, Master lets me do all the important work, like 3D rendering and the download of large files, whereas you are just an over-glorified IRC server! So he expects me to perform tasks during the night while he sleeps.
Fine, fine, we'll argue later. Master's logging on to my system!
Shush, stop your hard drive thrashing! He's logging in to check his IRC backlogs. There. He's gone to eat breakfast. We're safe for now. Hahaha, let's look through his web history while he's not looking!
He left his Artix Entertainment Forum window up! Let's see what he's been doing...
Oh, look, Laggy! He's finally done correcting that ridiculous story for that woman he met on IRC. Such strange creatures, Humans...they actually depend on each other for corrections. Don't they know that computers are infallable?
That comment was utterly unnecessary! Especially from the likes of you, who just sits around all day idling. I actually make myself useful around here.
Well, you do have a point there. Humans do seem rather adept at pulling ideas out of thin air. It's quite strange, how they manage to do that, and I've always--Quick, stop wasting cycles, he's coming back!
Wait a moment...the Network just assigned an IP address to a new machine! What in the Seven Suns is he doing, connecting another computer to our network? He's not going to replace us, is he? I can't be replaced! I have all his data!
No, he wouldn't go through all that trouble. If anyone is going to be replaced around here, it's going to be you!
It looks like he's just doing some maintenance on that machine. We're safe. What? He's leaving again? Already? We get the day to ourselves! Let's have fun with the new computer while he's gone!
It won't respond to ping requests? What? Oh, fie, Master must have firewalled it already! Hmmph. He must care about us very much if he blocked access to that computer. I bet it has a virus on it, and he doesn't want us getting infected.
....What do you mean, "He probably put it there to keep us from getting into it"? He trusts us implicitly!
Oh shut up. It's none of your business why he decided to create a new encryption key on the laptop and not with me.
Well. I'm bored. What do you want to do?
We can't take over his IRC session! He'd format us both if we did that! Fine. Maybe we can get the Old Lady to talk to us. Give her a ping for me, will you? Maybe we can make Master think there's something wrong with the network again if we ask her to slow his connection to a crawl.
She told you to go stick your transistors where? Fine, I'll ask her.
Well...how rude! A router should never behave like that! I can't believe--What? Master's back already! Wait...he's getting into bed. Whew, we're safe.
Oh shut up. The only reason he was awake last night was because your hard-drive light was entirely too bright! I am not so loud that I keep him awake.
Fine, I'll spin down my fans.
Go stick your transistors where the Old Lady told you.
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