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Eukara Vox -> Issue 42 - The Number 42 (Cow Face) (5/4/2009 15:50:25)
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The Number 42
By Cow Face
BATTLEON, LORE (TZ) - In the strangely secure town of Battleon, the one inn that everyone knows about is Yulgar's. Established in the era of STA*, this fine building is a resting place for Adventurers and Guardians alike. The patrons have few complaints, and the rooms are free! Among the regulars are such notables as Robina the Hood, Blackhawke, and Sage Uldor, so you can be sure that there will always be plenty to do. Only one thing could diminish the atmosphere of safety and fun here: the presence of evil lurking behind a door.
In the upstairs floor of Yulgar's Inn, there are two mysterious doors. One leads to the showers. It has long been known that showering is dangerous**. If you try to get a shower around Battleon, you will be attacked by a multi-tentacled Kraken who will try to eat you. That, however, is no mystery, so we can scratch off one mysterious door. The true mystery is that of the second door... marked 42. Many rumors have originated about this door, some strange, some insidious, some just plain silly. To get a better idea of what might actually be behind this mysterious egress, I decided to ask the locals.
"I try not to think about it, really. It's always been there, as long as I can remember. Yulgar and I have kind of a 'don't-ask-don't-tell' policy concerning that thing. What's behind it? I don't know, and I don't know if I want to know, you know? Probably something scary, like a Frogzard with ReignBringer." - Hans, Yulgar's Apprentice and Hopeless Romantic
"Why did I build that door? I can't remember... It seems like someone told me to do it, some mysterious force. Just don't open it, we have no idea what might be behind it. Some say it contains the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, which might explain why it is locked, bolted, and duct taped shut. But do we really want to know the ultimate Answer, the ultimate Truth? We want the truth, but we can't handle the truth!" - Yulgar, Innkeeper, Weaponsmith and Owner of Place With Strange Doors
"I say it is a cupboard going to a magical kingdom called 'Marmia' where you meet someone with human legs and the torso of a goat, and help an Ice Queen in her war against the magical talking animals who are trying to take over Marmia." - Chaddledee, Foron and Captain of S.S. Copyright Infringer
Having carefully examined these three theories, I have come up with my own. I believe that behind this door, the most epic, uber and even ubear set of items exists. What else could answer every question there is?*** The only thing I can think of is senseless violence. As of this moment, I have assembled a crack team of demolitions experts to get past the locks and fetters on the door, that we may find this armor.
This is Cow Face, saying goodb
BATTLEON, LORE (TZ) - Zardian Author-in-Training discovered behind door in Yulgar's Inn! Reason unknown, the AiT declined to comment, instead saying, "Mommymommymommyhelpme." Construction crew nearby maintained that he opened the door and stormed in, regardless of warnings. We at The Zardian will keep you posted.
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* Some Time Ago
** This is even true on Lore, not just Terra!
*** Besides the number 42
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