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Eukara Vox -> Issue 43 - A Teen's View of Responsibility (Cow Face) (6/4/2009 15:13:43)
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A Teen's View of Responsibility
By Cow Face
Responsibility. That's a word which comes to be used very often in one's life after one has reached the threshold of puberty. We all know what responsibility basically means: accountability for something or someone. It is used often vaguely, such as "When you're as old as I am, you'll have a lot more responsibility." Which is most certainly true, but something that many children do not dwell upon often (I, for one, did not) is, "What responsibilities will those be?" As some of you probably know, I am only a young teenager; I cannot even legally drive yet. However, I have thought long about this concept, and I would like to offer my opinions of the responsibility a parent owes to their child.
One of the duties that immediately springs to mind is that of protection. In addition to conceiving or assisting to conceive a child, a priority of any parent or guardian is just that- to guard their child. I'm sure that all of us at one time or another have been told, "Don't do that," and when we questioned why we should not, we were told, "Because you'll hurt yourself." This seems a bit more valid an argument than "Because I said so," and so we will often heed to their advice. Many of us will also disregard that advice from time-to-time, but as a general rule, we heed what they say. This may seem like so basic a concept that I need not mention it, but I feel that there is another dimension to it as well. One of the best ways in which a parent can protect their child is by letting them get hurt sometimes. This goes against most peoples' instincts; few people want to see their loved ones get hurt. But it is a necessary evil at times: without pain, there can be no growth, no maturing. It would only set up the child for greater harm later in life.
Another of the commonly mentioned responsibilities is setting a good example. We hear all about this if we're around younger people, "You're older, so be a role model." Someone (in a list of quotes I read, they were listed as Anonymous) once said, "Children are natural mimics: they act like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good manners." It is very interesting to note just how often group behavior influences our actions, even when we do not realize. A recent study showed that if one person in a social circle quits smoking, another smoker who does not even know that person has a greater chance of quitting[1]. If a parent who is an alcoholic tells their child not to do drugs, that's probably not going to hold a lot of weight.
This leads me to another point. Humans tend to have some life experiences in common. Though they of course do not always happen in the same way, chances are that someone close to you has also had a similar experience. I was surprised recently to find that while I feared some of my more recent writings may seem chaotic and random, several people told me that they could easily relate to them. While they were closer to my age than are my parents, this is also true in a trans-generational sense. Some people I have seen on the forums have said that their life experiences are in no way similar to their parents, who they view as incapable of feeling or expressing proper sympathy for them. I admit, as I do not personally know these people or their family, this is a possibility. However, from my own experiences and the experiences of others, this is usually unlikely.
One of the most important functions of puberty is what I refer to as the Great Questioning. This is the crucial period of life during which most of one's world views are shaped and transformed, when the world begins a shift away from the black-and-white, and to the grey of reality. Emotionally, psychologically, physically, socially, and for many, spiritually, this is an extremely turbulent time. It's also an extremely common time. If you feel like your world is spiraling out of your hands, talk to people who you know and who you also know care about you. Chances are, they know what it's like. Also, I cannot stress this enough: don't try it completely by yourself. From two years' familiarity with this method, I can say without reservations that this does not work.
It would probably take an entire dissertation to accurately encompass all of the duties and obligations which a parent has to their child and vice-versa. I shall end, though, with one more: the duty to teach. From the beginning of life, humans are constantly learning; learning to breathe, to speak, to walk, to think, to grow, to live. But no-one can learn all that they need to by themselves. For the current parents, future parents and distant-future parents reading this, I urge you to teach your children. And for the children of anyone out there, I urge you to listen. We are all constantly growing.
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[1] Source: TIME Magazine
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