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Eukara Vox -> Issue 44 - When Should I Take a Break (Rimblade) (7/7/2009 13:55:17)
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When Should I Take A Break?
By Rimblade
So, you want to take a break.
Vacations should never be voluntary. The benefits of a short break from the trials of the everyday are incalculable- one is refreshed, invigorated, inspired, and simply better able to face the world afterwards. Nearly every business on Lore allows for a short vacation every few months, and the wise worker will seize upon these whenever they can. Still, it is important to consider the where and when of each excursion, to maximize the value and minimize the risk of each journey.
Location, Location, Location
Let's look at some of the most popular tourist destinations on LORE:
1. Granemor- Yes, even with the forbidding reputation of surrounding Darkovia, Granemor has a booming tourism industry. Perhaps it's the charm of the city, or the thrill involved in the legendary 'Graveyard safaris' that area is famous for, but still, there is one thing a tourist needs to recall- THE UNDEAD RULE THOSE LANDS.
Spending one night in Darkovia vastly increases one's risk of death- and worse, you and those you love could end up a walking shell, trapped powerlessly within a decomposing body for all of time. Do you really want to risk yourself that way?
2. G.E.A.R.S Academy- The multiverse-famous mecha-driving school! With a lovely mixture of classic and cutting-edge architecture and constant spectacle and excitement all around, this academy attracts millions of visitors yearly. Fine dining, epic battles and a world-class museum are only the beginning of Soluna City's delights. Sadly, there is one thing which does not delight- the Shadowscythe and mech pilots who routinely romp through the city. Anything you take to Soluna had best be something you can afford to lose... including your life. Unless you're an excellent pilot yourself, it may well be best to skip this attraction.
3. Isle de Oriens- A legendary library? Fabulous devices a thousand years old? Scenery to shame all Lorian delights? The simple RUSH of being on an island thousands of feet in the air? The Isle has got them all, and yet more pleasures to delight the senses and excite the mind. Indeed, the Isle is home not only to notable sages, but also to exotic, rare species, such as... geckos. Those who wander about the Isle often fail to return, and the locals solemnly let investigators know that the unfortunate has been 'CHOMPED'. Safe? Fun? I think not.
4. Swordhaven- The site wherein a thousand heroes have been born, and a thousand more yet seek to go. Graceful white walls hide a lovely city, redolent with beautiful cobblestones and lousy with every possible amenity. This is one of the haunts the legendary paladin Artix von Krieger is known to venture, along with the ranger Robina the Hood, and it is the seat of Good King Alteon, who sits in his great white castle, a mighty fortress. Well, that is... until the city was overrun with undead, and chaos overran the entire land. Yes, in a place teaming with such danger, death is the least one needs to worry about- for at any moment, one might realize that the shopkeeper with whom they chat has a few too many eyes...
5. Aeris Battlespire- A floating coliseum, constructed of the finest building materials in the latest styles. Fluted towers rise above the landscape below, and the great arched windows allow the sun to reflect brilliantly off the glittering tiles which line the miles-long complex. Spectators can feast upon the finest cuisine as they watch mighty champions struggle for life upon the floating platforms, high above worldly concerns. That is, of course, until some Dragonlord's fires miss a foe, spiraling into the hapless audience. That's right, folks, this combat is deadly to EVERYONE. Those without the power to withstand a river of flame need not apply!
Think of the Time I'll Save!
So, you've looked over my list, but you're still willing to venture forth to your doom? Very well, the next thing to do is consider the timeframe.
Spring- Glorious springtime, when flowers bloom, deer prance happily in the meadows, songbirds tweet, and evil leprechauns have the run of the world, terrorizing all those who dare approach them. This is a terrible time to be out, and nothing but the loss of everything you've ever loved can come from it.
Summer- The pounding sun beats down over the world, roasting those below and dispensing sunburns like candy to children! Even if the flaming star which dominates the sky does not do in a hapless vacationer, the fire monsters which are so proficient at rendering men into food rampage across the country at this point, bringing death to those below.
Fall- Just look at the NAME of this season. 'Fall'. What do you think that means? The fall of empires? The fall of cities? The fall of trees, rocks and monsters onto you and your helpless friends? All are equally possible!
Winter- Between the various evils that haunt this season, the ice elementals which rule Lore, the freezing temperatures and the threat of sudden blizzard, no sane man would venture out in winter.
So there you have it, folks. Vacations are excellent, wonderful things, so long as you avoid going anywhere while it is a season.
This article sponsored by: 'Anti-Worker Inc.- The oppression of all employees is our promise of quality!'
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