RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (Full Version)

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Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (12/30/2009 21:56:09)

Hello again Fabula. To be honest, I didn't expect this critique a while yet, seeing as it's still holiday time. A rather pleasant surprise. [;)] Anyways on to answering your suggestions:

I Hear the World Singing:

Well you see, when the poem says the people are singing, it is not that they themselves are singing, but that their lives their actions, their feelings and emotions are the ones singing. If you read the original poem by Whitman, where he talks about: "America Singing" he is talking about how the work of the many craftsmen and worker joins into a song. I simply took this and expanded on the concept to make it include the whole world, throughout all history. So when the poem talks about "joy and sorrow" it is referring to the way that peoples lives are a song in which joy and sorrow often feature, and how the swirling, ever intertwining songs of all people join together into this one song, that of humanity.

Cat:

The reason I only have quotation marks around that one sentence is that the way I wrote it, that is the only line that is actually spoken. The poem starts out as if I were merely telling this story, and then that one line jumps out, rather like the cat, to catch the reader's attention and sort of "wake them up" you might say, and then the poem returns to the way it was before. I left those articles you mentioned out because I felt it flowed better without them, and the meaning, imo, comes through clearly even without them. It gives it more of a "poemy" feel, the way I see it.

Time:

Hm...The meaning I was trying to convey in that last stanza is that you live in such a way that you have nothing that you wanted to say to people, but were perhaps too afraid or proud to say. In a way, similar to what you mentioned when you talked about: "nothing left unsaid", I simply said it in a different way. To be honest, I never considered people would take it for anything else. I now realize what you mean it could be taken as, but I had not considered that before. I think that people should be able to guess what I mean given the theme and feel of the rest of the poem, but if more people get confused by that I may have to change it. Either way I'll give it some thought.

And about "the/a" blink of an eye. I feel that it could go either way, but if I were to change the "the" to an "a", I would want to change the second "an" to a "the", so as not to be overly repetitive. But then that changes the meaning ever so slightly...I guess I'll fiddle around with it and see what sticks.

Writer's Block:

You know, in all honesty I had never considered it being about anything other than a writer's block, but now that you mention it yes, it could be applied to a number of things. I had no such thoughts in mind when I wrote it, it just came out like that. [:)]

A Tree Falls:

You misunderstand me. When I talk about an impossibility, I am not referring to the fact that a tree falling is impossible, but rather that the conditions under which the philosophical question was argued are impossible. Allow me to explain: I wrote this poem about what used to be an oft-discussed philosophical question, in which would be argued the following: If a tree falls in a forest, and there is nothing there to hear it, does it make a sound? Now I am sure you realize that nowadays this question is quite easily answered due to our much improved understanding of how sound works. If a tree were to fall, even if there was nothing there to hear it do so, the sound waves which would be heard if there were someone there would still be produced, and therefore it does, quite indisputably make a sound. But in truth this is not what makes the question impossible, this is simply what answers the question to the point where further argument is useless. What makes it impossible is the fact that there never has and probably never will be a forest in which no living creatures live, that might hear the sound. The idea that there is nothing there to hear the tree fall is in fact the impossibility to which I alluded.

*Looks up* Wow didn't mean to type so much...Excuse that wall of text please... [;)]

Blessed Escape:

I see what you mean there. I'll go change that now..*Runs off to change* There how does that look?

When I first wrote this poem, it was nothing more than a poem about scuba diving, (a hobby which I find to be incredibly enjoyable. [:D]) I came along and added that last stanza, which as you mentioned opens the poem up to numerous interpretations, as an afterthought a few days later. And I think the poem is better for it.

Seasons of Life:

The way I interpret it, the question at the end is asking if the end of humanity will come before the end of the world, or whether we will go together. At least, that's the feeling I get. I could add a couple lines on the end furthering this question, but for some reason I really like ending with that question, and the poem does have its main, if over-used, meaning to fall back upon if people do not get that lats bit.

Sleeping Dragon:

First off, let me say that I don't know if this poem does have a deeper meaning. It was just something that I wrote after that one line of Frost's kept coming back to me. So even if I wanted to clarify the "meaning" whatever that may be, I don't know how I would go about doing it. Perhaps someday I'll figure it out, but until then I guess I'll just leave it the way it is.

Birdsong:

I understand what you are saying about the articles, but as the name of my thread might suggest, I feel that part of poetry is using as few words as possible to convey the most meaning, hence I often drop "unnecessary" words, like the article you mentioned. I realize it's not exactly grammatically correct, but I feel it still works, and in poetry one is more free to adjust the rules of grammar as they see fit. This is one of my personal favorites out of all my poems, and I feel that much of the beauty of the poem comes from its simplicity.

Anyways I thank you profusely for all the help and guidance you have provided thus far, and wait in eager anticipation for your further comments.

~shreder



Fleur Du Mal -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (12/31/2009 14:31:06)

OKies, rest of the critique (part 2/2) as the response to your request in the workshop thread.

Hope Springs Eternal in His Love

Imo, this is quite beautiful poem on personal faith in all its simplicity. The only thing bothering me here is that there's no clue why the 'I' in the poem feels that he's in the darkness:
quote:

Why must things happen this way?

What things? Which way? What is wrong and why does that make him doubt, feel that they are 'utterly mistaken.' When the issues that cause this doubt are left totally in the dark, it takes away from the impact of the problems being washed away, imho. How can the power of the prayer be delivered / illustrated if what it clears is not even hinted at?

One little typo:
quote:

Hope spring eternal, so they say.

An 's' has been accidentally left out.


Tears

For tears I left a short comment earlier. As to the combination of tears and rain on battlefield, this is just a so familiar image to me that I accidentally find it hard for me to name out all the books I've read it in. However, you could check out Lord of the Rings – The Return of the King, The Battle of The Pelennor Fields:

quote:

A great rain came out of the Sea, and it seemed that all things wept for Théoden and Éowyn, quenching the fires in the City with grey tears.


There are further references to rain and tears also in the following two chapters, The Pyre of Denethor and The Houses of Healing.

Also, one story where it has been used can be readily found even on these forums: check out the start of Crimzon's Myrmidon, Chapter 1

The imagery of the sky mourning in tears of rain is just so powerful one that it'd be odd had it not been used also over an battlefield. I've used it only for an individual myself:
quote:

He held her and cried, refusing to believe that she had parted and left him alone. But she hadn't breathed, she grew colder by the minute, and the clouds had taken a darker hue before the heavens joined to the wake, opening up.


I'm not saying that there's anything wrong that you used it, it is a good visual and it suits your poem purrfectly. I'm just stating this out because you said you haven't encountered it in poetry nor prose.


Sun and Snow: A Tilted Planet

Again, I love the imagery here, and the peacefulness of the poem itself. I myself, rested as well as I read it.

Going beyond nitpickerish, but in the first stanza, you have movement of the flakes in all other lines except in the second.
quote:

A white blanket that on the land did rest.

So I read the snow moving and falling, then it's fallen already and motionless on the ground and then it's drifting and moving again. Once again, this is a very nitpicky thing to say, but for me the second line would work better with the first and third if it portrayed the snow coming to rest as it touches down instead of it just lying on the ground, already fallen. Here's one suggestion ->
'A white blanket that on the land came to rest.'

One downside of this would of course be, that it'd ruin the repetition of the ending of second line unless the line is changed in all three stanzas. As always, all changes are yours to call, of course.

Journey of a Leaf

After reading this one I took a peek at what you had written about it in the comments thread. I thought about the possible deeper meaning of dying myself, but actually I enjoy this poem most just through its vivid imagery and the feel of wind and leaves floating in the gusts I'm picking up here while reading.

Another possible article left out:
quote:

It grasps the branch with frail stem.

I suspect that could do with 'a frail stem' or 'its frail stem' but I did already notice your response to my other similar comments, so I guess you chose to leave that article out of here on similar reasons as well and it's fine.

Untitled

This one I also commented previously. I'll just repeat here what I said, that
quote:

Untitled was simply beautiful, simple yet intertwining both the experience of interpreting music and feeling emotion through it with poetry. I felt connecting with this one on several levels.

I don't think I can add much to that. =)

I do not claim to be a poet

Heh, I found this little gem amusingly quirky. The wording/word order of the second stanza goes around quite a detour before the words 'flow out', in connection with the words you used in the previous row, 'meander aimlessly'.

The punctuation seems a bit odd in the second stanza, though. Or purrhaps there is a verb missing from the first row?
quote:

Something that I do in times of boredom
Such as this very instance now. <- no verb in the first row, added 'do', and I'm also wondering if this period would be better off as a comma.
When my mind meanders aimlessly <- I think a comma would fit in here as well
These words from out my soul do flow.


Insanity

I guess the poem worked as I am quite confused by it. It feels very much like someone's thoughts were trapped in a circle that lead to no conclusions. Anyways, I think there are two spots with slightly hazy punctuation

quote:

But if I think I am insane
I am not, but merely could be.

Mesuspects a comma would with at the end of the first quoted line, since if this were written out as one sentence on one row, wouldn't it go like this:
'But if I think I am insane, I am not, but merely could be.'

quote:

I cannot tell, for don’t you see?
That my mind has been consumed
By tendrils of insanity.

Here I think the question mark would be best placed at the very end of the poem because that's where the question ends. He's not asking the reader whether they in general 'see' or understand something but rather specifically if the understand his mind having been consumed by insanity. At least that's what I think is being asked.


I’ll Find No Rest

Once again, good, meaningful, strong imagery that makes quite an impact; I indeed am partial to it in poetry. =)

I have to agree with ont about the 'restless'-part there though. 'They restless' sounds very peculiar to me. Also, the preceeding sentence seems a bit like a sentence fragment. Although sentence fragments by definition are not necessarily a bad thing in poetry, in my opinion, this makes the stanza a little choppy and unneededly so. So, here's one suggestion for you to consider:

'What once were men, but are no more,
Restlessly roam the barren land.'

I'm not sure if this break in rhyme is intentional or not:
quote:

Alone I roam this barren land.
I have no one for company.
I know I must do all I can.
To free the world from this disease.

'Insanity', 'Mutiny', 'Lunacy' wouldn't probably be the exact words you were looking for, but they'd rhyme (sorta =P) and the horrors of the roaming creatures could also be referenced with those words, imho. Just a suggestion, though.

And here's another one, lol. Have you considered using repetition to add more impact to the closing line:
'I’ll find no rest, not till I am dead.'
Without the second negation, the comma in the line feels somewhat out of place and unneeded, imo.

Grief

quote:

My heart with sorrow laden sighs.

This seems a tad weird sentence to me. It would seem as if either the preposition 'with' is unneeded or, in case it's a sentence fragment, the words 'sorrow' and 'laden' would be a compound modifier and require a hyphen ->
'My heart sorrow laden sighs.'
or
'My heart with sorrow-laden sighs.'

quote:

The more I try not to recall.
A single tear rolls down my cheek.
And to the tear-stained ground it falls.

'The more' would seem to plead for continuance with another 'the more', like 'the more I tried, the more I cried' Now it seems to me as if the rest of that thought went 'poof' and I got sidetracked from the poem as I tried to find where the other 'the more' had vanished. My suggestion would be to edit the quoted lines to:
quote:


The more I try not to recall,
The more tears rolls down my cheek.
And to the tear-stained ground they fall.

This would also make the first and third lines rhyme.

My last nitpickerish comment on this piece regards the closing stanza:
quote:


This unmatchéd pain and sorrow <- is the 'é' there on purpose instead of a regular 'e'?
Of burying son or daughter.

Since the word 'This' is used to define the pain, which binds directly to losing a daughter, I found it odd to read from the next line 'son or daughter'. I'd use general words 'their child' instead, so that the line would still include also the pain of losing one's son as well, but without distancing from the emotion of losing their daughter as has happened here. If I'm making any sense here, lol.

Despite all my butchering of the poem I did above, I found it very heartfelt and painfully beautiful. Thanks for sharing. =)


As a general note, and as you might have already seen by reading my comments, I'm not here to offer any 'right' answers or definite errors in your poetry, just my view on them as a reader. I hope you found also this part two or the critique useful to you and I hope our occasional differentiating views and interpretations on your poetry didn't cause you too much headache. =P


Thank you very much for taking the time to response to my comments with the depth you did. I really do appreciate it, especially since I was wanting to know your thoughts behind some of your wording choices, etc.

I'll response to your response later in a separate post. =)

Happy New Year 2010!



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (12/31/2009 22:57:10)

Yay more C&C! On to responding:

Hope Springs Eternal in His Love:

While I can understand that you want to further understand what the problems alluded to by the speaker are, you have to realize that they are really rather irrelevant. The poem, at least the way I intended it, is not about the problems the narrator has, but rather to how through faith they are overcome. I feel that adding a backstory would simply clutter up the poem and bury the message I intended for it to have. *Points at title* Remember? [;)] Oh and yes, fixed that sneaky typo.

Tears:

Ah yes, how could I forget about LotR? *Facepalm* Anyways yes, I suppose you're right...

Sun and Snow: A Tilted Planet:

I think you must have misunderstood. Look at the first line: "Snow fell today, softly sifting." The way it's wrote, the snow had already fallen. If you read it like that, I feel what you mentioned isn't really a problem.

Journey of a Leaf:

Yep you guessed it. Well actually, what it is is when I was writing the poem, and the others which you mentioned earlier, I never even thought to put in articles where you mentioned. Quite often they mess up the flow while not really adding much in the way of meaning. [;)]

Untitled:

I'm glad you liked it. [;)]

I do not claim to be a poet:

I understand what you mean there, but just adding a "do" throws off the flow. So I decided to take of the "that" to balance it. How does that look? Oh and I changed the punctuation. I added a comma to the end of the first line, put a dash after the second line, and added a comma to the end of the third. I think that works.

Insanity:

Added that comma as you suggested in the third stanza, but I disagree with your suggestion for the last stanza. While I understand what you are saying, I personally like it better the way it is. And remember, if you want to argue about punctuation, remember this poem was written from the point of view of a madman. (Best excuse EVAR! :P)

I'll Find No Rest:

I know it's not conventional, but I still feel that it is in fact usable. And yes I realized I was breaking rhyme there, but I think a slant rhyme is close enough. The first stanza has one too, if you hadn't noticed: edge and red. Oh and about your last suggestion, I like adding that word, but I'll have to change "I am" to "I'm" to keep the meter the same. Anyways I'll go change that now...

Grief:

Hm..That line doesn't seem strange to me. It could be rephrased as: My heart, which is laden with sorrow, sighs because of aforementioned sorrow. Yes I realized how that lines kind of cut itself off when I wrote this poem, but didn't bother working it out because I was too busy trying to get used to writing with the rhyme scheme I used. I like your suggestion, and I plan on implementing it, but I suppose I should mention that in order to fit it into the poem I need to change it to: "The more the tears roll down my cheek." The extra "the" is needed to give the line eight syllables like the rest of the poem. Yes the accent mark is there on purpose. You can see this technique used sometimes in poetry to change the number of syllables in a word, therefore allowing the line to follow the meter of the poem. And while I can understand what you are saying in your last bit of advice, I feel that the last stanza is not the speaker talking only about his own situation, but rather simply stating that no parent should ever have to outlive their children, be those children sons or daughters. Plus daughter fits into the rhyme scheme, which as I mentioned above was a big headache for me when writing this poem...

By no means have the occasional difference in our opinions on my poetry been a headache for me. On the contrary, I feel that in explaining my poetry to others I better understand it myself.

In all honesty, I feel it is no less trouble than it is worth to reply to your critique in such detail. You have gone to the trouble of sharing your thoughts and trying to help me in some small way improve my poetry, and the least I can do is give a satisfactory response. I look forward to your re-response.

Happy New Year!

~shreder



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/4/2010 21:11:52)

I apologize for not having posted anything new lately, but I've been pretty busy. Here's a new poem:

Nature: A Collection of Short Poems

Please to has C&C?



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/4/2010 22:38:24)

Having FINALLY broken through something of a writer's block, here's another new poem:

Nightly Walk



Fleur Du Mal -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/5/2010 16:22:43)

OKies, responding to those parts of your response I still feel like I can add something. =)

I Hear the World Singing:
Well, I have to confess that purrhaps due to cultural reasons (me being European and non-native in English), I am not at all familiar with Whitman. I see your point now that you explained it. I think I might have taken this part of the poem very literally:
quote:

Each human being, all through history,
Singing what is his or hers.

thus understanding that it is the humans that sing of their property, stress being on the words 'human' and 'singing what is'.

Cat:
Despite all my nitpicking about your usage of articles, I'm actually quite fine with them being dropped out in poetry or even in speech in prose for flow reasons. I pointed those out because I didn't know whether they were left out on purrpose or not and because I don't think they would disturb the flow so much that leaving them out would be compulsory. Anyways, having them left out or present is truly up to you as you have already deduced by yourself. =)

I see your point about the narration and the only line being spoken out. I guess the tone of the narration simply changed quite a bit in my eyes over that one spoken line and that's why I was expecting italics in the latter part of it, interpreting that the POV had changed from the beginning. However, the narrator being the same, first observing more aloof and later more aiming his thoughts directly at the cat undoubtedly works.

A Tree Falls:
Ahh. Heh, I'm not allergic to long explanations, so no worries. Thanks for your wall of text. ;) I wasn't really sure what the 'what' referred to in the poem, but your explanation does make sense. I should've spent more time thinking about that.

Blessed Escape:
Yes, I personally like it more with those words as they bring up a little variation. =)

Seasons of Life:
Well, finishing the poem with that question does work, but you see, the elaboration doesn't have to be after that question. I think it could be embedded to the poem prior to that question. If you chose to do it, that is. Of course, your call. =)

Hope Springs Eternal in His Love:
Yet again, adding any backstory could indeed clutter up the poem, and I do also see your point about them being irrelevant. That comment of mine was based pretty much on my own personal opinion that 'undefined' problems may feel too vague for a reader for the reader to be impressed about them being removed. Totally just my personal view.

Sun and Snow: A Tilted Planet:
Ah, I see, I guess I got really confused about the timeline of the snow falling. =P Yes, I'm nitpicky enough to care about when the flakes fell and when they didn't. =P

I do not claim to be a poet:
Works for me. =)

Insanity:
quote:

And remember, if you want to argue about punctuation, remember this poem was written from the point of view of a madman. (Best excuse EVAR! :P)

I'd actually be that crazy. =P Anyways, your poem, I'm all fine with what you did with it. =)

Grief:
Works for me. =P Although I might have given/edited you a typo there by changing the tear to plural:
quote:

The more the tears rolls down my cheek.

Sorry about that, the unneeded 's' was already present in my suggestion.

Once again, it is a beautiful poem. =)

Until later!

PS. I read Nightly Walk just now and found it quite sweet in a bittersweet, emotional way. Good imagery as well, imho. =)



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/5/2010 19:31:51)

I Hear the World Singing: So you've never read Walt Whitman?...Really? Does the line: "O captain, my captain." sound at all familiar? Anyways here's a link to a fairly good list of his poetry, if you have time: http://www.poemhunter.com/walt-whitman/ And if you don't mind me asking, if English isn't your native language then what is? Because I honestly never would have guessed.

A Tree Falls: I'm glad you actually took the time to read through my long and overly complicated explanation. :P

Seasons of Life: Ah, you know, I had not considered that. Perhaps I will try to embed some elaboration of the closing question earlier in the poem. I'll get back to you on that.

Sun and Snow: A Tilted Planet: Well in my humble opinion, it is much better for a critiquer to be overly nit-picky than to not give enough feedback. [;)]

Nightly Walk: I'm glad you liked it. [:)]



Fleur Du Mal -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/6/2010 15:42:24)

Well, I've heard of Walt Whitman, but I've never read him. I do believe this really is a cultural thing, as to my knowledge, Whitman was a great influence to /American/ poetry, but purrhaps not that crucial poet to be taught about at school in a European country with a language totally different from English. So, knowing and reading Whitman would be totally up to each and everyone's own interest. And my main interest in poetry always pointed further East. So, no, unfortunately the quoted line does not ring any bells. (And yes, I'm avoiding answering the language question) =)



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/6/2010 19:08:38)

Ah, well I suppose that's understandable. I probably wouldn't know even the most famous of say French or Russian poets... And if you don't want to share where you're from that's understandable as well. Anyways if you have time O Captain, My Captain is really quite good, imo, and worth a read.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/9/2010 7:42:00)

Another new poem is up:

Whispering Fog

This poem is written from the point of view of a person who has lost his love, and in his disillusioned brain sees her face and hears her voice in the dark fog that covers the land, mirroring his own feelings.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/11/2010 3:14:26)

Yet another new poem up:

Ambition

Pretty self explanatory.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/13/2010 21:08:39)

And another:

The Dance of the Satyrs

A fair bit longer than my usual stuff, but I think it's not bad.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/16/2010 12:39:36)

Yet another:

I Go Gentle Into That Good Night

And yes, the title and last line were shamelessly stolen borrowed from Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night." :P



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/19/2010 9:46:27)

New poem up:

Sad Reality

This is more of a return to my usual style. I don't think this one needs explaining does it?

(Oh and I wish people would comment, I've posted five new poems since the last time someone else posted. [:(])



Mistermafio -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/19/2010 10:00:49)

I read Sad Reality.

It inspired me to read more of your poetry, and in doing so confirmed what I expected. This isn't your best work.

You're lines seem a bit too mashed up. Going from "hey, that's a kind of cool way to say that" to "eh?". Which isn't good.

Q.E.D.:

quote:

The sun warm rays do reach them not;


See, if this had simply been: "the sun's warm rays..." or "the warm rays of the sun reach them not" I would have read over this sentence once, and thought it to be rather cool. Now, I've read over it trice, forgotten what the poem was about again, and still not quite figured it out. Which I don't think you where quite planning to do.

Other then that, the rhyming seemed a little bit forced at times, rhyming "sky" with "liked".

Both these things are really too bad, because you do have it in you to make good use of language as you prove in "I Go Gentle Into That Good Night " and you can make some pretty interesting rhymes and rhyme schemes as you prove in "I’m Two Years Old " (which has some odd rhyming, but not /bad/ rhyming. There is a difference).

Normally I'd say something like keep up the good work here, but really, I'd rather you go back to your better work.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/19/2010 10:16:22)

Hm...Maybe you're right. I think maybe part of the problem is that I started off writing this poem about one thing (deep sea fish, don't ask) but then later when I came back to work on it some more I found that perhaps the lines worked better with a different theme. So I turned 497 degrees (again don't ask [;)]) and it came out the way it did. Perhaps I got dizzy somewhere... Anyone on the specific examples you gave, here's my thoughts:

quote:

The sun warm rays do reach them not;


Ok yes, maybe on second thought that line wasn't such a good idea. Not only does it seem awkward, but it is overly repetitious when taking the second line of the fourth stanza into account. I changed it, see if that makes more sense. (I also slightly changed the second line, fourth stanza as well.)

As for the slant rhyme of "sky" and "like", it may be a slant rhyme, but it's not TOO far off, and it doesn't feel forced to me. (Of course that could be because it's late at night for me...)

Does that look better now?



Mistermafio -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/19/2010 10:25:13)

Well, some poems just aren't meant to be masterpieces. Which is a good thing, of course.

The changes you made help a bit, but to make this poem as good as your other poems I think you'd be better off with a complete rewrite. Which basically means you could just as well write an entirely new poem.

If a line sounds forced or not is more often then not a personal thing in situations like this. I don't really like the "sky" "like" thing, but I can see why you'd think it's not too far off.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/19/2010 10:32:47)

quote:

Good things must have comparers I suppose. How else would we know how good they are?


--Elizabeth Enright, Gone Away Lake

I'll just have to try harder next time. [8D]



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/20/2010 22:03:39)

New poem up:

Stormy Regrets (For lack of a better title, anyone have any ideas?)



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/25/2010 22:20:27)

Another new poem up:

Math

And no, I'm not actually THAT bad at math, I just don't particularly like it.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (1/28/2010 8:19:01)

And another:

Nightly Respite



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (2/1/2010 21:34:33)

New poem up:

Waiting Seeds



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (2/4/2010 22:11:53)

And another:

Heavenly Bodies--A Series of Haikus



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (2/5/2010 1:39:57)

Yet another:

I Wish I Could Write Poetry

One of the few humorous poems I've ever written. To be honest I find them harder to write than serious ones. But I think this one actually turned out quite well.



Shreder -> RE: Comments and Criticism: Poetry--Compressed Meaning (2/8/2010 2:19:08)

And another:

River of Time



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