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Eukara Vox -> Issue 49 - How the Moglin Stole Frostval (Kabroz) (12/18/2009 14:32:57)
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How the Moglin Stole Frostval
by Kabroz
Every Moglin in Frostvale liked Frostval a lot...
But Kabroz, alone in his Hideout, did NOT!
Kabroz despised Frostval, the whole lousy season
He thought Frostval was wrong, and had very good reason
It could be that Kabroz did not like to share
It could be that he hated the chill in the air
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was that unlike most Moglins, his brain was not small...
But whatever the reason; the cold or the sharing
He lurked in his Hideout and couldn't stop glaring
Staring out of his lair, looking down on the town
His face breaking out in a mad, ebil frown
For he knew every Moglin who lived in the 'Vale
Was crafting up weapons, which would soon be for sale
"Brand new armour and weapons" he snarled with a sneer
"Like silly Adventurers need extra Gear!"
He grimaced, while tapping his staff on the floor
"I must sabotage Frostval, and make it no more!"
For tomorrow, he knew...
... all the Moglins who could
They'd head to the workshops. And with metal and wood
They'd craft new equiment! They'd enchant it for Good!
That's one thing he hated! The Good! Good! Good! Good!
Then all of the Moglins would sit down to eat
And they'd Eat! And they'd Eat!
And they'd Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!
They would start eating fishes. And then some ice cream
Which was something that made poor Kabroz want to scream!
And THEN!
They'd do something that made Kabroz feel cold
Every Moglin in Frostvale, the young and the old
Would gather together, with Frostvale bells pealing
And they'd help out the players with lots of free healing
They'd heal! And they'd play!
And they'd help fighters slay!
And the more Kabroz thought of this horrible day
The more he realized "It must all go away!"
"For all of the years I've put up with it now,
I have to stop Frostval from coming!
... But HOW?"
Then he had an idea!
An ebil idea!
Kabroz got a terrible, EBIL Idea!
"I know just what to do!" Kabroz said with a sneer
As he conjured up Moglin-sized Guardian gear
Kabroz looked, and he laughed, and he smiled just a bit
"Wearing this, I look just like a Paladimwit!"
"Now I need a rein-dragon..."
Kabroz looked around.
But since Galanoth slayed them, no more could be found
But did that stop Kabroz?
No! Kabroz merely said
"If I can't find rein-dragons, I'll make one instead"
So he picked up his staff, and he spoke Words of Dread
And brought an old Rein-Dragon back from the Dead!
THEN
He loaded some sacks
In the back of a wagon
And he hitched it all up
to the poor Undead Dragon
Then Kabroz said "Let's go!
And the Wagon rolled down
Towards Frostvale, where Moglins
Lay asleep in their town
All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Moglins were sleeping, without any care
When Kabroz approached the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one" Kabroz said with a smirk
As he jumped to the ground, and he got straight to work.
The door wasn't locked, because Moglins are fools
So Kabroz broke in without lockpicking tools
He crept into the house without making a sound
And was shocked by the presents just lying around
They were stacked to the ceiling, and all in a row
"Giftboxes" he thought "are the first things to go!"
Then he snuck 'round the room, and he grabbed every box
Be it weapon or armour or even new socks.
Crossbows and long swords! Plate Mail and a shield!
Mage Staffs! New Spells! Cool weapons to wield!
And he stuffed them in bags, which he slid 'cross the floor
To his nearby rein-dragon, right outside the door
Then he went to the kitchen, he took all the fish!
He stole all the ice cream from every dish
He took all the pizza, and every treat
He grabbed every goody that Moglins might eat
Then he tossed all the food out the door towards his sled
"And now," snickered Kabroz, "I shall Summon Undead"
Then Kabroz grabbed his Staff, and he started to chant
But a small, quiet sound interrupted his rant
It came from a Moglin who wasn't that big
A small silly Moglin that others called "Twig"
Kabroz had been caught by this small bit of fluff
Who was hungry for ice cream (he can't get enough!)
He stared at Kabroz and said "Paladin, why?"
"Why are you taking our Frostval things? Why?"
But old Kabroz was ebil, and so very sly
It took him but a second to think up a lie!
"Why, dear little Twig," the false Paladin lied,
"Artix asked me to take all your stuff for a ride!
He knows that these presents will make Zorbak chafe
So he asked me to hide them where they will be safe!"
And his lie fooled poor Twig. And he patted his head
And he gave Twig a salmon and sent him to bed
And after poor Twig went to bed with his snack
Kabroz summoned Undead for a morning attack
And the last thing he stole
Was the log for the fire
The he went out the front door himself, the old liar
In the workshop, he only left old tools and wire.
And the one bit of food
That he left in the house
Was an old spoiled fish 'bout the size of a mouse.
Then he did the same thing
At the next Moglins' Houses
Leaving fish just as small
As the next Moglins' mouses
It was still early morn...
Moglins all still a-bed
Moglins all still a-snooze
Surrounded by Undead
When Kabroz went outside, and he packed up his wagon
With weapons and armour; he hitched up his Dragon
The he rode away quick, off to Akriloth's Lair
To melt presents down in the flames that were there
"Heh heh heh heh!" he was ebilly humming
"The Moglins now know that no Frostval is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Moglins in Frostvale will all cry Boo-Hoo!"
"That's a sound," snickered Kabroz
"That I simply must hear!"
So he stopped; and Kabroz put a hand to his ear
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Frostvale!
Kabroz rubbed his eyes!
Then he fumed!
What he saw was a horrid surprise!
Every Moglin in Frostvale, the tall and the small.
Was laughing! And playing! In spite of it all!
He hadn't stopped Frostval from coming... it CAME!
Despite all his Ebil, it came just the same!
And Kabroz, his Moglin-feet warmed by the fire
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could this transpire?
I stole all the presents! I crushed every wish!
I even took all of the ice cream and fish!"
And he puzzled three hours, 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then Kabroz thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Frostval," he thought "doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Frostval... perhaps... means a little bit more"
And what happened then...?
Well... in Battleon they say
That Kabroz's Ebil
Grew three sizes that day!
And he knew that he must go and set it all right
So he ran back to town in the bright morning light
But he DIDN'T bring gifts, for unlike that "Grinch" clown...
Kabroz... BY HIMSELF... Zombified the whole town!
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