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Mistermafio -> RE: D-UnHeroes Alpha: The Legend of the 12 Orbs (Comments Here) (6/1/2010 4:50:49)
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Really, creating a sock-puppet to fake comments? Not cool man.
Anyway, even though you seem to be going for a movie-script kind of deal, try to be more descriptive. Explain a bit more what the settings are, how the characters look. Maybe try writing some kind of introduction other then just starting dialog and assuming the world knows what you are going on about.
You have a workable premise, but flesh it out, add detail and description. Or at least double-check your grammar and spelling.
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