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Mistermafio -> RE: Poetry ~Formulaic~ C&C (6/1/2010 5:02:14)
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If there is one thing I cannot stand it is elitsts who claim that rhyme and meter by definition make poetry bad. Though the same thing can be said for people who claim the opposite. Poetry, by definition, cannot be bad style-wise unless you choose to write in a specific style and mess that up. And even then it is not a crime. Poetry is about expressing thought, conveying a feeling or telling a story through words. Rhyme and meter are tools that a poet can choose to use or not to use, and just like musical instruments are tools for musicians, some choose to use one combination, in one style. While others choose another combination in an even diffrent style.
That rant being over, I like the style you use. Your rhyme doesn't come over as overly forced, which is quite a skill to have when committing to a certain poetic form. I read Memorial Day, and I must say I really enjoyed it with two minor exceptions. The transistion from the *ock to the *eat rhyme was a little sudden. Something about the word heat just threw me out of the rhythem you I was in. Though that could just be a personal thing.
And the last rhyme, Italy, seems to come out of the blue a bit. As if solely put there to finish the rhyme. I'm pretty sure that isn't the case, but you might want to look into that just a little bit. Should you want to perfect this poem.
That's just my two cents, keep up the good work.
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