|
Overlord_Dyma -> Dragonoid (7/15/2010 14:16:13)
|
Hi there, so this is my first story in a long time and wanted to know what you think(Critique away!) Below is just a summarized version of what I had as an Idea. This will probably be the base of my story, the one I'll be working around with 'cause I pretty much freestyle with all my works. Anyways, enjoy!
Dragonoid
Sample Piece:
As the moon shines high above the summits of Heaven's Tomb, the distinct figure of a ruined cathedral becomes outlined in the mystical light. Laid upon the steps of the gates, a figure crawls lifelessly into the uncertain sanctuary before him. Crippled and broken his last breathes bids adieu...yet, his body lingers thirsting for life. A call from the frozen shadows reaches out to the young man, Come hither young one I will give to you the warmth you desire... Further inwards the boy drags himself, slowly and silently his only drive now is the voice promising relief, Come...come, closer before you shall my light warm your frozen body...
"Mother..." the young man whispers through dry lips, "M..mother, I feel so cold..." as he pulls himself closer to the gates he suddenly feels strength returning to him; now the voice becomes more assuring, repeating the same promises of warmth and care, Closer my dear, closer! You are nearly there! The young man finds himself now standing on his feet, still a bit weak but with every step further into the cathedral he regains the strength he had lost; now walking faster towards the end of the hallway he feels a new life enveloping his body, he hastens his steps as he nears the final passage way, with hope in his heart he makes a dash for the light at the end of the tunnel....but is the light he sees the light of salvation?
"Mother! I am here....HUH?!" The boy had passed beyond the tunnel and found his way into the central area of the cathedral, only to find an undesirable sight...tombstones sketch out the circular room basking in the unholy light that fills the air. In the center, a monolith looms high above the ceiling casting it's deathly shadow on the boy. Shear panic and disgust grabs hold of him paralyzing his body with fear, for upon the prominent tombstone the skeletal remains of an acient wyrm is anchored, sealed to it by cursed chains and pinned through it's still beating heart by a longsword. The sight and stench was enough to kill any living being, but even more was the dragon's eyes, amber yellow, piercing as if gazing into your very soul. With hollowed shrieks the dragon stirs from its prison writhing and churning. With a final struggle to reclaim control over himself the boy breaks free of the shock and makes for the gates.
YOU WILL NOT LEAVE!! YOUR BODY SHALL SERVE HOST TO MY UNDYING SPIRIT!! With a thunderous roar, the dragon breaks from its rusted chains and flies towards the boy.
In an instant, darkness takes hold and the boy falls into a deep slumber..... TO BE CONTINUED
|
|
|
|
