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Bu Kek Siansu -> Time Anomaly (10/5/2010 12:29:05)
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E-Leet Mission 6: Bork Dodgers of the 20-Somethingth Century!
Quest Location: Hangar Deck -> General Stormfront -> Missions -> Mission Select -> TIME ANOMALY
Quest Given From: General Leet Stormfront
Requirements: Level 35; Rank 5 (completion of Dead Planet)
Dialogue:
Stormfront: So, it seems there have been some extended repercussions to Gravlax's time machine incident. ...Yes, we know about it. You don't need me to tell you how much I don't like scientific blunders. They make my job harder.
Stormfront: Anyway, we've picked up some worrisome energy signatures just outside the orbit of the planet Vulkas in the Kranerbad System. It correlates perfectly with one of the time machine's activations, so it's likely connected somehow.
Stormfront: See if you can find out just what other problem that blasted device has caused before it ends up reversing the flow of time... or something worse!
To Vulkas!
Back
«Scene: A Rocket appears, flying toward Planet Vulkas. The Alteon then sends you in a fighter out to fly toward the planet.»
«You»: «You» to Alteon-- I've reached Vulkas. Why didn't anyone tell me that the whole planet IS ON FIRE?!?
«Scene: You land, stepping out into a volcanic environment.»
«You»: The energy signature is definitely nearby. Whew, it's hot down here! Glad I wore anti-perspirant!
???: So are we!! Do you mind leaving so WE can track down the source of the strange energy pulse???
«You»: !!! Uhhh... no?
???: Hmf. Why can't anyone be sensible about these sorts of things? We were here first! Oh well-- Guess we're sticking with Plan A after all.
Fight!
1 BATTLE
1 BATTLE
Full Heal
1 BATTLE
Full Heal
«Scene: Next to a rocket.»
«You»: General, I encountered some Network resistance. They noticed the same energy burst we did and got here before I did. I... took care of them.
«You»: Looks like I found the energy source as well! The energy readings are spiking on some kind of... very strange spaceship. Looks like a ROCKET, actually.
Stormfront: (on radio) Why would ANYONE fly a ROCKET into space?!? That's insane!!
«You»: I know, right?!
«You»: I'm going in for a closer look...
«Scene: You get closer to the rocket.»
«You»: The rocket's quite big! It doesn't appear to be damaged, either. And it landed perfectly. Maybe it wasn't even meant as a weapon...
«Bork Dodgers enters.»
???: You hit the nail right on the head there, pal! This rocket isn't a weapon-- It's my ship!
«You»: !!! Who are you?
???: I'M BORK-- BORK DODGERS!
«You»: ... Nice name. I'm «You», from the Lorian spaceship Alteon, and I represent the WarpForce!
Bork Dodgers: The WarpForce, eh? What do you and this WarpForce do?
«You»: Well, we patrol the universe at speeds faster than that of light itself on a quest to stop an evil alien force called the Network, and other sinister beings, from destroying or taking over peaceful worlds.
Bork Dodgers: Ha! That sounds quite far-fetched! Faster than LIGHT?! Wouldn't you just break up into millions of particles at that point? It boggles the mind.
«You»: It's the only way to travel across such vast distances, friend. The worst side effect I've heard so far is mild nausea.
«You»: So just where do YOU come from that all you need is a fuel-propelled rocket to travel?
Bork Dodgers: I come from a world called Earth. It was the year 1952... or was it 1983... Either way, it was a long time ago. So, I started on a journey around our solar system, but something malfunctioned.
Bork Dodgers: Things malfunctioned A LOT when I was at the controls. That's how I got my name. So this malfunction, it propelled my ship into a much wider orbit. It took me so long to get back to Earth--
Bork Dodgers: -- that when I finally got back, hundreds of years had passed! Needless to say, I was disappointed to learn that I could no longer wear bellbottoms and get away with the look.
Bork Dodgers: Before long, though, my expertise got me a job with the Intergalactic Council, and I was sent on a mission to protect Earth from a variety of humanoid mustache-and-goatee sporting aliens.
Bork Dodgers: My favorite nemesis was a beautiful alien princess named Nutella, though. Her eyes were hazel, but she was totally nuts. Evil alien princesses... stay away from them!
Bork Dodgers: My most recent mission, however, seems to have hit a snag! I was just flying along with my robot sidekick Twitty when my ship experienced very bad space turbulence--
Bork Dodgers: -- and before I knew what was happening, we had somehow been transported to an area of the galaxy I didn't recognize. All the stars' positions are different, and this world is on no star chart I've seen.
«You»: Quite a story! So what was your mission?
Bork Dodgers: Twitty and I were pursuing one of my most devious archenemies: Dr. Herman Vernishunger, a.k.a. KIDDER KANE! He's wanted on a dozen planets for the crime of deviousness.
«You»: He sounds quite... bad. Where's your Twitty friend?
Bork Dodgers: I'm embarrassed to say that I lost him. As soon as we landed safely, I was on my xxviPhone trying to call for help. Apparently Twitty wandered outside. I haven't seen him since.
«You»: I'll help you find him. I also have an idea what happened to you. We have been experimenting with time travel recently, and I think we accidentally yanked you through space and time.
Bork Dodgers: !!! That's one thing I've had enough of. Ah well... maybe you can get me back to where I belong once we find Twitty?
«You»: We'll try, I promise. So do you know which way Tiwtty might have gone?
Bork Dodgers: Follow me!
«Scene: Another area with footprints.»
«You»: So you can't call Twitty using your xxviPhone?
Bork Dodgers: No! Can you believe that? My xxviPhone doesn't support the Crash Player application that's needed to run my Twitty Feed.
Bork Dodgers: But Twitty has some very good hearing, so I'm sure some good old-fashioned communication will work.
Bork Dodgers: TWITTY!! WHERE ARE YOU!??
«The ground shakes.»
Bork Dodgers: What on Earth was that?!
«You»: That, friend, was a volcanic earthquake, caused by the movement of magma under the surface. This planet is pretty unstable.
«You»: ................ Do you hear a faint whistling noise?
Bork Dodgers: Yes I do... Watch out!
Fireballs!
This is what you get for landing on a volcanic planet!
Difficulty: 40
Stat Used: Luck
«If you failed your roll, the scene shows a fireball hitting you for 50 damage.»
«You»: Ouch!!
Dialogue continues as below.
«If you were successful in your roll, the scene shows the fireball hitting next to you and dialogue continues as below.»
«You»: The quake must have been caused by a nearby eruption, which also blasted some balls of lava into the air!
Bork Dodgers: I think I hear another one...
Fireballs!
Another one! Now that the fireballs have lost the advantage of surprise against you, it's all up to you to get out of the way!
Difficulty: 40
Stat Used: Dexterity
«If you failed your roll, the scene shows a fireball hitting you for 50 damage.»
«You»: Ouch!!
Dialogue continues as below.
«If you were successful in your roll, the scene shows the fireball hitting next to you and dialogue continues as below.»
«You»: Any sign of more giant fireballs from the sky??
Bork Dodgers: No. It looks like we're in the clear!
«You»: Let's get moving before we get any new eruptions.
«Scene continues to the next screen and a Whiffle floats in.»
Bork Dodgers: !!!
Bork Dodgers: Stand back, «You»! I'll used my customized Bork-Gun to take care of this malevolent beast!
«You»: Wait, Bork, don't--
«Bork shoots the Whiffle and kills it.»
Bork Dodgers: There! All taken care of! Now we don't have to worry about that disgusting creature.
«You»: Um, generally speaking, Bork, we like to try and communicate with new alien species BEFORE assuming they're malevolent and blasting them.
Bork Dodgers: But why? Did you see how HORRENDOUS that thing looked? It wasn't even human in shape!! It looked like something I'd expect to see on the end of a cotton swab--
«You»: We want to spread PEACE throughout the universe, not promote war by ignoring the basics of diplomacy and--
«Two more Whiffles float in.»
«You»: -- making new enemies in the process. Well, Bork, you have once again lived up to your name. Ready for another fight?
Whiffle: *mean look*
Bork Dodgers: Uhhh... oops? Did I just pop one of your buddies? I didn't mean to.
«You»: I don't think that will work.
Battle the Whiffles with Bork's help! -- Bork Dodgers will now battle by your side!
Battle the Whiffles by yourself!
Regardless of choice:
2 BATTLES
Full Heal
Bork Dodgers: I promise to never again shoot something that looks like a giant glob of phlegm before trying to befriend it again.
«You»: Bork, there are times to shoot giant globs of phlegm and times to not shoot them. You just have to be careful. Okay, now it looks like Twitty's tracks lead right around the corner...
«You»: --here!!
Bork Dodgers: TWITTY!!!
Bork Dodgers: You're still functional!
Twitty: Bidi bidi bidi! One hundred percent functional!
Bork Dodgers: You really shouldn't have made your way so far from the ship. It's dangerous out here.
Twitty: It's alright, Captain. I'm safe. I met a friend who promised to take good care of me.
Bork Dodgers: A friend?!? Out here? Who??
«Kidder Kane enters.»
Bork Dodgers: KIDDER KANE!!
Kidder Kane: Ahahahahaa!! Why yes, indeed, BORK DODGERS!
Kidder Kane: So we meet again! If you take ONE STEP CLOSER I'm going to activate the bomb I planted inside of Twitty and BLOW HIM UP in front of your very eyes!!
Bork Dodgers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kidder Kane: Aaahhahahahaaa!! JUST KIDDING!!!
Bork Dodgers: Whew!
Kidder Kane: I would never do that. I love Twitty. By the way, I reprogrammed him so that now he only listens to MY commands!!!!
Bork Dodgers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Kidder Kane: Aaahhahahahaaa!! JUST KIDDING!!!
Kidder Kane: I just really LIKE him and I think I will keep him after I zap you into atoms, BORK DODGERS!
Bork Dodgers: ..................
Bork Dodgers: No?
Kidder Kane: Seriously. I will zap you and your friend here into atoms.
«You»: You were right, Bork. This guy is quite devious. Dastardly, even.
«You»: Hey, Kane, I think Bork and I will just leave and let you keep Twitty.
Kidder Kane: YES! I win!
«You»: Just kidding.
Kidder Kane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Fight!
1 BATTLE
Full Heal
Twitty: Bidi bidi bidi! No more Mister bad guy!
Bork Dodgers: That's right, Twitty! Now let's get back to the ship and see if our friend can help us find a way back home!
Bork Dodgers: You CAN help us find a way back home, right?
«You»: Well, we ARE talking about a malfunctioning prototype time machine... so I can't make any promises... though I'm certainly HOPING I can get you back to where you belong!
Bork Dodgers: Any possible side effects from using your time machine device?
«You»: Yes, many of them. And I'd call them PROBABLE side effects rather than POSSIBLE side effects. But don't worry-- if things go REALLY WRONG you won't even realize it. Ehem.
Bork Dodgers: How comforting.
Twitty: Bidi...... bidi.
«You»: Good luck on your continuing adventures, Bork! I'm glad I met you.
Bork Dodgers: It was nice to meet you as well, «You»! If it weren't for your and your WarpForce, I'd have been stuck here.
«You»: As soon as you take off in your rocket ship, I'll have our engineer activate the time machine.
Bork Dodgers: Let's go, Twitty!
«Scene: Rocket ship blasts off into outer space, with the time machine zapping them away.»
«You»: They're taking off. Okay, Gravlax, go ahead and activate the machine!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Return to the LSS Alteon!
Mission Debriefing:
Good job! I think we can consider this mission a success. We managed to help someone who could one day become a new ally in the ongoing battle against the Network. Even though Bork Dodgers was from another time and another place, we can't be sure he won't encounter similar enemies to ours, or even be in a position to one day help us surprise the Network!
Despite the risks involved with Gravlax's time machine, the Admiral and I have decided to allow him to continue tinkering with it. We may even be able to find a way to communicate across time!
Play Again!
WarpGuardian Tower!
Leave
Rewards:
Dodger's Gun
Dodger's Gun Z
Dodger's Gun
Dodger's Gun
Dodger's Gun
Thanks to ArchMagus Orodalf
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