G.I.G.A. -> RE: (DF)Chronicles of a Hunter (1/12/2011 19:31:51)
|
Yep, I remember reading it as a war story, too. Still, it was and is pretty good. I'll do a further analysis when I have time. Edit: Some mistakes I found. quote:
He enjoys the hunt. And he even enjoys when (t)he mark hunts him. Fix in bold. Also, consider joining the two sentences. It's awkward to start a sentence with a conjunction. quote:
“No it('s) just dead because he found it that way.” Fix in bold. Also, consider adding a comma after "No", but don't if it doesn't agree with the way he speaks. quote:
As Imaru Pushed through the crowd De-capitalize pushed. There are a few stylistic mistakes I see, but they should be fine.
|
|
|
|