(DF)Fallen Angel Comments and Criticism (Full Version)

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Arthur -> (DF)Fallen Angel Comments and Criticism (3/3/2011 2:57:18)

Story

I have only written one chapter up till now.
And I intend to keep going.
Hope you like my story and do tell me abt my mistakes and errors.




Arthur -> RE: (DF)Rise Of A Dragonlord: Book 1:Fallen Angel (3/5/2011 4:39:03)

Updated with the 2nd chapter.




Arthur -> RE: (DF)Rise Of A Dragonlord: Book 1:Fallen Angel (4/11/2011 3:25:10)

It's progressing a bit slow, but the 3rd chapters here.
Hope you like the story.




Mortarion -> RE: (DF)Rise Of A Dragonlord: Book 1:Fallen Angel (4/11/2011 5:33:35)

Tell me the main outlet of it, I meant the general plot, ya know to know if it's of mi liking




Arthur -> RE: (DF)Rise Of A Dragonlord: Book 1:Fallen Angel (4/11/2011 10:12:04)

Well, the thing here is that ariel is one of the angels too, arthur gets to know that towards the end and he feels alone.
But, a sacrifice on his part clarifies his side, and then there's an epic battle.
But for now, arthur needs a dragon.
How bout it?
P.s. Do i have any errors?




Mritha -> RE: (DF)Rise Of A Dragonlord: Book 1:Fallen Angel (4/11/2011 11:53:38)

Very interesting story!

Though you left out quite a few spaces.
quote:

'You should know better than to come uninvited Lancelot.'boomed the Green Dragon.

quote:

'What did you call me?Wraith?You dare insult me

quote:

standing up to his full height.'Explain yourself petty mongrel,

quote:

roared back the Dragon.'I hate that Knight and I hate Lore,

quote:

'Go daddy go!!Go.'came a voice from the cliff.

quote:

trying to get back at the brown dragon.As soon as he and Eldrangier were side by side

quote:

'You grow better,'said Lord Ariel

quote:

he couldn't see 1 metre ahead of him.All he could see was rain falling

quote:

occassional crackle of lightning.He strained to hear anything

quote:

Ariel walking beside him.They made their way through the darkness

quote:

Arthur thought,'It's almost been 10 years since the day

quote:

he stumbled into the arms of the Dagger master.'Ariel!Where's my son?Where is he?'

quote:

and hugged his father.'I am glad you are alright son. I was so worried.'Lancelot managed to say,'Take me home.Please.' The three left from there.

quote:

Blood had seeped out of it.Serenity tended to it and then turned to the other two,'Are you two hungry?'said she.'Get something for Arthur. I ain't hungry.'said Ariel.Serenity looked solemnly

quote:

Lancelot's wounds for some time and then asked,'Where were you?

quote:

Eldrangier.......he's gone.Forever.'

quote:

'What is the Council of Angels?'asked Arthur looking at Ariel.

quote:

'Uhh....Father did. What is it?'asked Arthur, interested.

quote:

won't peek into any of this business.Promise me.'said Ariel concerned.

quote:

DragonLords who are also, the elites.'said Ariel.

quote:

' And were these DragonLords strong?'asked Arthur.

quote:

are they real angels?'asked Arthur.

quote:

said Ariel,'It's getting dark, we should leave.

There should be a space between everything underlined :)




Arthur -> RE: (DF)Rise Of A Dragonlord: Book 1:Fallen Angel (4/11/2011 12:20:32)

On it.
Wow mritha, you reading this story means a lot to me.
In fact all of u guys.[:)]




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