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jamesxman -> Draygin Moonbane (9/5/2011 4:19:49)
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This story has no real title. On my computer, the folder is simply "Book". This is chapter 1 here. Not too long, but I hope it gives a taste of my style. Well, I kinda have a few styles of writing, this is my fantasy writing style I guess (I don't write too many stories). Of course, I'll try to workshop it according to feedback.
Chapter One
.......No training he had received prepared Draygin for the circumstances in which he currently resided. Being dragged away from the encampment, still groggy, an arm under each of his. As his mouth was gagged, he was incapable of calling for help. That being the case, he resorted to kicking his legs and squirming as violently as his current state would allow. Unfortunately, his captors’ hairy grips were as iron wet with the blood of Draygin’s fellow guards. Knowing his efforts were futile and not wishing to waste energy, should he need it (though in his mind he knew better than to trust such a hope), he fell limp and watched the lights of the torches shrink and fade into the shroud of the night. The impenetrable darkness surrounded them shortly, leaving nothing but the sounds of his captors’ grunts and the sound of the leaves crumpling under their feet. No other animals dared make noise on this night, lest they find themselves prey of the ghost that long since haunted this forest. The very same reason for which Draygin had been sent to guard the border of the forest; the reason the nation of Asthar has gone without a restful night’s sleep in years.
.......Under the curtain of this overbearing darkness, time passed unintelligibly; one did not know if an hour or five minutes had passed. It could have been all night he had been dragged through the forest by the time they dropped him to the ground without warning. He fell on his back, noticing that he was in the middle of a clearing. The leafless trees parted above and showed him the full moon. He lay there, too tired, or perhaps just without motivation, to move. He took this time to look at the moon, noting how beautiful it seemed. After uttering a short prayer to the champion of his forefathers, he mustered the power he didn’t know he had and rose to his feet, staggering. His captors had shrunk away into the trees. The light of the moon shone throughout the clearing, the sound of the swaying trees now offering the only comfort from the deadly silence.
.......For a moment he swayed in place, fearing gravity might conquer him and bring him, and his defenses, down to the ground. He knew any defense he possessed was useless should an attack be launched, but he would at least like to die as was custom among his ancestors; upright, facing the oncoming danger, and devoid of fear. As he realized he was still gagged, a low growl hissed from the darkness of the tree line behind him. Ripping the fabric from his face, he spun around. His confidence stretched farther than his ability; he lost his balance and fell to one knee. Searching the darkness for a hint of light, a sharp pain ran down his spine. He wished to fall down and lay prostrate to alleviate the pain, but he was incapable. Draygin was a shuddering statue, unable to move or defend himself. His eyes stopped searching, a fog clouding his sight. A blunt surface collided with his side, releasing him of his immobility and allowing him to fall onto his back. He drifted on the brink of consciousness, leaving him only barely aware of the shadows closing in around him and the utterances of incantations in a hoarse, raspy tongue of which he had never heard. Pushing his body to its mortal limits, he clung to awareness just long enough to see darkness encircle the fading vestige of the moon above.
Aaaand there we go. Here's the Critique and Comments pages respectively:
Critique
Comments and Discussion
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