The Outcast (Full Version)

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Shadow Ravena -> The Outcast (10/25/2011 22:30:22)

"Walk alone, walk alone. I am Outcast, and I walk alone."

"I see places, people, once precious and dear. Now they are only shadows of a different time, a different life. Now none see me, for I am Outcast, and I walk alone."

"It was not always this way, one time I had family, friends. Now I have no one, I am no one. I am outcast, and I walk alone."

"I am not a jock, or a brain. I am nobody. Because I am nobody, I am outcast, and because I am outcast I walk alone."

"People see me and go the other way. They see the iron band around my head, around my heart. The band means I am Outcast, and I must walk alone."

"How many years has it been? I can't keep track of the days, which are so different and yet so the same. Every day I walk this path, and I walk alone"

"When will this torture end! Am I condemned to forever walk this dark path forever? I do not know. But for now I walk this path, and I walk alone"

"Walk alone, walk alone. I am Outcast, and I walk alone."

"What is it like to see the sun? to feel the wind on my face? Everything is dark night and still as death. I walk in darkness, and I walk alone."


This is my life, my sorry existence. To walk in the dark, no light, no life, only unending nightmare. This is a dark story, one with little light. This is my life. My name is Outcast, and my old name I haven't gone by in years. Even before I was an Outcast, my name was Raven- named after the bird of ill omen, and speaking of a dark future. Too appropriate for the trouble I've seen, caused, known. But that you shall see, reader, and the rest of mine and many other's sorry tales. This is adapted from my journal and memories, from what I can write down. So let us go to Embra, for that is where the story begins...


*You turn the page of the ratty looking notebook, titled simply "Outcast."*




Shadow Ravena -> RE: The Outcast (10/25/2011 22:34:57)

Preface
How can I explain the pain I feel?
Its like having a gaping hole of where my heart used to be. What is left of my heart is broken, burnt out and hard. Very little softness remains, and that is locked away.
Its like having a scar that never healed, is infected and forever hurts. And all the time more things hurt it, cutting away, preventing healing and deepening the wound.
Its like a mournful sea, never ending, with rain clouds forever adding to its depth.
Its like walking a path with no light, no life. A path that never ends.

How can anyone know the hurt I feel, the sorrow that eats away at me as the days pass, the pain that grows more intense with every passing moments. How can anyone comprehend what its like without the light of love, of happiness, of peace, of joy. How can anyone understand what its like to go every day not knowing if its your last. How can anyone realize what its like always on alert, always watching out for danger and hurt?

No one knows, no one understands. No on could know unless going through it themselves. To live life in perpetual darkness is something no one should go through. It really is a living nightmare, one I could not possibly explain. There just aren't words to explain the depth of pain, the unending torture.

But I will try to explain, to show the world what it's like for one living without love, and almost without hope. Someone needs to let the world know what it like for us, for all the people no one will listen to, who need someone to just explain.

But I here to explain, not to complain. This story is a metaphor, a dream. But a dream that will show the the world what people desperately need to know, to save those on the verge on disaster.

This was my first entry, written in pencil, in my hidden journal. I have kept it, as it shows a depth that may otherwise be missed. The Outcast life is harsh. But enough intros, lets get into the real story...




Shadow Ravena -> RE: The Outcast (10/25/2011 23:05:25)

Chapter One
I walk along the dark streets of Embra, my home city. "Home city, but not a home. I have no home."
I pass the school I went to as a child, where I was first picked as outcast. I see a old friend of mine, raise a hand in greeting. But she does not see me, though I only be a few feet away. No see, or acknowledge me. I am nobody. I am Outcast.
I walk along, passing the market and the mall. People rush hither and thither, all content and rapped up in their pretty little lives. I see, but cannot join in. "Maybe I'll go to the movies, but what does it matter, it will only be the same as before."
Everything is the same as before, each day only slightly varied. It was always the same streets I had walked millions of times before, always the same shops, same people, same dark black sky, same streetlights always lit.
"Hey, you their, girl. Come over here"
I turned to see a old man beckoning from the middle of the street. I walked over to him, and he suddenly spit in my face. "Sucker. Ya think I actually wanted anything to do with ya?"
I heard people chuckling at what the man did. Me, I just wiped the spit off my face and kept walking. I was used to this kind of treatment, I got it every day. The law states you could do nothing to Outcast except harm. I was lucky I didn't get beaten like many did.
And of course ignoring him wouldn't do anything, their would always be another. In the distance a clock chimed quarter till nine, I needed to get back to my house before nine 'o clock curfew.
I walked to the edge of the city, where Outcasts lived, and entered the house. "Shack is more like it." I thought for the millionth time. It was a shack, rundown and pathetic. There was a bed, a rickety old table and chair, a chest covered in dust, and that was it.
"At least its clean and they're no animals. Thats better than I deserve."
You might be wondering about now why in the world I didn't go to a different city, find a job, get a life. I couldn't. The iron band that marked Outcast also prevented me from ever leaving.
The cities in this world were islands, the only way to another was by government boat. Try to escape, and you were caught and jailed if lucky, tortured if unlucky, which most people were. For an Outcast, you were killed or worse.
"Why I don't just try and escape is beyond me, Death would be welcome relief."
That was not entirely true and I know it. I had a will to live, a will that would not be broken. I wanted to prove to everyone that I was stronger than them, that I could stand anything.

***

The next day, I got up as the clock chimed six, and headed to the meeting hall. It was my turn to get weekly rations, and the earlier I was the less likely the officials were to try and cheat me out of my food. I left my house and started walking down the narrow and muddy streets.
As always, the iteetlamps gave barely enough light to see by. Here on the outskirts of town, where the Outcasts lived, it was never maintained like the rest of the city. In fact, if any of the lamps burnt out either myself or a fellow Outcast had to steal a bulb and replace it, or their would be no light at all. Stealing anything was tricky, so only a few lamps had bulbs. The officials knew we had to be taking them, but never bothered to check who did it. Occasionally a random Outcast was charged with, but only when they wanted to punish someone. Which happened far to often. But bah, what did thinking about it help? Nevertheless, I did think, if only to break the accused monotony of everything.

No surprise, when I reached the hall, there were few people there. I still had to wait a half an hour to turn in my work card, get my new one and a food slip. Some Outcasts waited a few hours to do this- you had to by 9- but I knew it was smarter to go early. For one, less waiting time around other people, for another, better jobs and food given to early risers. I trudged to the other side of town to the Outcast headquarters- or I should say our superiors headquarters. There, we got rations and assignments. Why we had to go to town hall as well I did not know, but that was just the way things were done.

When I reached the building, it was mostly empty. I was, as usual, the first Outcast there. Not that it mattered if the others were there- we were forbidden from idle talk, or any talk outside of work. Which was rare. Anyways, I got my weeks worth- a 'loaf' of stale bread and a fist sized hunk of meat. It was better than I've seen! Normally both were rotten. And, of course, the pills that made up for the nutrient lack, one per day. We could work, but didn't have enough energy to rebel. They think. But thats another matter. Anyways, my job, like it always was, was 'janitor' duty at the local electronics' plant. In reality, it was more do-whatever-they-ask then janitor. The fact that they trusted me to have me do that was nice, it meant I could get a promotion. Not to any real work, but more tracking fiances, products, that sort of stuff. Computer work really, but computers fail and the average citizen was above such mind-numbing tasks. Still, you got a bit more bread with it, as well as a bit more few seconds. That made it worth it.

The electronics company and factory were joint building, as were many businesses. This made control easier, and prevented any funny business the workers might try. Not that anyone was that dumb. No work, no pay, no food, no life. That simple. You either earned your life, or you died. The government don't need slackers- they need idea people. We Outcasts took care of the rest. There was no free anything- your house was often government owned, as was you health insurance, all the businesses, stores, transportation, etc. Those that were useless were tossed aside like the trash they are. Mercy is not a word here- it is made of myth. Of course, with the land utterly hostile, with many necessities coming in from foreign lands via government trade, this kind of system worked. No government, we all died. But I'm rambling, again. The factory was on the west side of the island, so it was ANOTHER trek across.

Note: The island is roughly divided like this: Outcasts in the east edge, governmental stuff in the north, factories in the west, 'farms' and houses in the south, and shops in the center. Town Hall is in the North, the Outcast central in the east.

At the factory, I 'greeted' the manager, got yelled out for being late (I was ten minutes early), got assigned a section of area to clean, got my tools, got to work. Boring to live, worse to tell. What was interesting happened at five, when my work 'officially' ended (It often ran over till 8:30). In the janitor's closet, a certain bucket was turned over. I smiled, that could mean one thing. I quickly palmed a small note under it, and once safely away I read it. It was simply, 'Meeting at moon's hight, where shadow's are still cast.' Sweet.




Shadow Ravena -> RE: The Outcast (10/26/2011 0:30:48)

When the clock stuck eleven, I got up from my bed and slipped through a hole in the roof. Probably the only advantage to a run-down house. I scanned the area for patrols, and listened for the soft tap-tap their boots made of the stone streets. One seemed to have just gone through my street. "Good. He won't be back for five minutes- just enough time."

I ran along the street in the other direction, carful to avoid making noise that might tip anyone off that I was here. My fellow Outcasts couldn't be trusted- the reward for catching one breaking the rules was too good for us to pass up. I mean, three meals a day for a month...! I couldn't remember ever eating that much food- though I must have before I was an Outcast. But that was a different life, and I was a different person....

I remember how my life was right before I became Outcast. I remember how even then life was tourterous. I was smart, at least people said so, I was creative, which probably is the only thing that breaks this monotony, but I was failing at school and life. I used to be a A+ student, but then my grade slowly but surely plummeted to C's and D's. In the life department, I was unpopular, the disgrace of the crowd. Why? Because I was different. because I had the guts to be my own person and not just one of the crowd. Because I didn't reform to social rules, because I didn't believe that just because your 'proper' it means you can do anything to anyone. This of course was unacceptable, so I was spat on, I was despised, hated. Many would either ignore me or go out of their way to harm me. My self-esteme plummeted, and soon after my grades. I doubted everything I did, wondering if I was being an idiot. I questioned everything I thought I knew.
This didn't last. soon, my behavor, though I tried to hide it, caught the attention of my supiriors. They passed the info up teh ranks, and I becan to be watched by the goverment, to see if I was an Outcast. The other kids, seeing this, took their tourture up another notch. I in teh end could not hide the fact I was diffeent and I was an outcast, so I officially became one. I remember at the 'ceramony' where they put the iron band around my head and stated the rules of treating Outcasts, quite a few cheers went up in the audiance. They weren't from hardened crimals or even adults, but the kids at my school. Even those I thought were my friends cheered as well. I learned how cruel people could be that day, to rejoice at the extreme suffering of another. I never forgot the moment of looking out at the crowd, blood streaming down my face, and seeing so many that enjoyed my suffering. I remember thinking, "Why? Why would you cheer at this? I understand relief at not being an Outcast, but to rejoice..." I never understood it and never will.
Though I have seen more Outcast ceramonies, and heard many more cheers, I never could understand them. What could they be happy about? the fact that a nuisence to them was now being locked away? That they would no longer have to deal with something they could not understand? Or maybe a way of saying a job well done. I shrugged. I didn;t know, and didn;t care. If people felt like being bastards, that was their affair. But I wished theu would take a long, hard look at themselves and see who REALLY should be an Outcast, them or us?

I shook my head. Such thoughts would get me caught. I had managed to avoid the patrols by walking along the roof-tops, but this was slow work. Finally, I reached the wharf located in the northern part of town. Because it was guarded day and night, lights often created shadows against the boats and boating equipment. Us meeting here meant one thing- one pour soul was getting out.

Of course, the moon part was to confuses any who might find the note. There was no moon here- only in library's was there a picture of one. It was assumed to be a fairy tale by most actually. Anyways, the usual spot of meeting was in a little cave whose entrance was under the dock. It was covered by water most of the time- we had to put up a barrier to keep it out. I slipped into the freezing water about twenty feet to the left of it and swam over. The entrance was impossible to see- I had been here before though, so I knew the way. I entered, crawled along a passagway for twenty-ish feet and finally entered a room just tall enough to stand up in. There were roughly ten people here tonight- more than usual for meeting, less for an escape. We were all different, except for three things: the iron band around our heads, our wet black clothing, and our faces that told of experiance well past our years. I headed over to the leader of our group.

Grizzly was not someone to mess with- the oldest Outcast on Embra, he had seen more trouble than any of us, and was tougher and wiser for it. Being a former collage graduate, he knew the goverment inside and out- the history, the workings, the people in charge. He knew the geography of the twenty or so islands that made up this country, and knew better than most of the real distances and dangers between. Who goofed and let a learned man like him join us needed meds- he had all the knowlage to at least partially thwart the goverment. Not very much, but enough to save some skins. That was better than we could say. Grizzly led us, because he was the only one qualified. But he was not 'nice' in many ways- frankly, we did not have that luxury. He helped, but he had to make sure we did not all fall because of the life of one man. Reality is reality.

"Your late. Anything happen?"
"No. There seems to be more guards than usual though."
"Hmm, maybe some other goofball got them rattled. We don't need this, not tonight."
I glanced around the cave, and saw the most pathetic excuse of a person ever. He was bones and a little skin, and what skin was there was guant and white as a sheet. This guy needed help, and soon.
"That him?" I asked, gestering at the fellow Outcast.
"Yes. Poor guy has died twice already, but he is too valuable to them to kill off. At this point, he's going to be institunialized soon to be made healthy."
I cringed. Those that were 'insituninalized' were never the same- it was a fate worse than death. You either were sent there if you rebeled, or if your couldn't take food anymore. He was not quite that bad, but one more death and he would be. Grizzly was right, this guy needed out.
"Got the dummy?" I asked.
He nodded. "It was too easy with this one, a week old skeleton will suffice. We will need to put it in the current so the decaying seems proper. Now," he said, turning to the man and another Outcast named Scapal, since he was a former doctor, "are you two ready?"
They both nodded, and the skeleton guy braced himself. Scapal first gave the man a slight pain relief shot-it would make the pain mostly bearable- and began to cut away the skin on the back of the guys head. A few minutes later, he had exposed a chip there, in an area where the skull had been removed, attached to the brain. This was the tricky part. Guini Pig- so named since he did this often- stepped close, his palm already sliced. Scapal quickly removed the chip from skeleton's brain, and placed it in the wound in Gunie Pig's hand. The wires twitched and then attached themselves to Guiny Pig's flesh. The inactive period was too short to be of any concern- a hard blow often caused a similiar inactivity- so the fed's wouldn't come looking yet. Meanwhile, Scapal bandaged the guy's head to prevent infection and too much blood loss. While this was happening, everyone else besides me and Grizzly were getting the escape boat ready.

You see, water was the only travel, and it was perilous. There was much debry in the water, many rock reefs and dangerous currents. Only goverment sea captains could navigate it- and even then only a small portian. Even we didn't have a full map, only enough to reach the next rest spot. You see, it was FAR to dangerous to have any one person or group have a full map, in case it be lost, compermised, etc. Not to mention say were our rest points! They were scattered over several islands, Embra bring one, and were vital in rescue of anyone. That is were the boats got provisions- no one group could support a full voyage, but serveral could. We slashed our own rations for this, but it was worth it. To help another, and to have assurance of being helped is absolutly nessassary. Though many had the mentality that they would never burden the group by asking for help, or risk the consiquences. It was only when the consiquence was lighter than staying did anyone ever leave.

Once Scapal finished up, the rest of us left the cave by the tunnel. After a cold swim, we got skeletal into the boat, already stocked and manned by several thought-dead Outcasts. These were our navigaters. Grizzly went to watch the guard, while Guiny Pig and me took the decoy corpse and headed a hundred yards out to where the current was very strong. At the strike of ten, I removed the chip from Guiny Pig and placed it in the corpses head in the pre-prepared space. Then we threw the corpse far into the water, and Guiny Pig ran up the coast. He would dive in where the current was faint and swim back to his house- or rather, a way back to his house. I had a harder job. I started running inland, till I nearly hit a guard near the wharf. This was the point- I was the decoy for the boat. I started sprining away, making sure they were following me, craddling a fake object. To them, I was a thief. As we entered the city, I dodged between the dark and winding roads, with them always a few feet behind. Once they gave up on catching me, after twenty or so minutes, I took a roundabout route home.

I would not know till the next meeting if my actions were at all fruitful- and the meeting were who knew when. But I had tried, and that was the best I COULD do.




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