(DF) Notes from a Ranger. (Full Version)

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Riprose123 -> (DF) Notes from a Ranger. (12/16/2011 20:36:19)

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Sneevils

Sneevils. When I first encountered the little green balls of evil, one was trying to steal my Dragonlord lunch box. He got about three feet before I realized I couldn't smell the raw chickencow meat. Dropped it with a quick shot, but then another one of the nuisances picked it right up again and kept running. It took me about thirty minutes to track him down, and since the box wasn't closed, the meat was spoiled.

Yeah, I hate them to.

Currently, I have had fifty different containers stolen by sneevils. The real thing I hate about them is that they run around, screaming about evil in incomplete sentences with their high little voices. They really tick me off when they start to try and stab you. The only good things about these little beasts is they make some kick ass boxforts.

Last week I found thirteen sneevils crawling through a hole they had dug through my cellar wall to get at my boxes. They had dug fourteen feet into the ground and through six inches of solid concrete to find the treasure trove of boxes that was my food stores. And the worst part was they drank every last drop of my moglinberry cider just to get at my kegs and run off with them. Apparently moglinberry cider doesn't bode well with Sneevil metabolism, because they started stumbling around and couldn't pick up a single box. They saw me coming down the steps and ran. Took me three days to find and refill the tunnel, and I'm still not sure the whole thing is full.

~Riprose Rehorn, Boxless Ranger of the King's Court.



Riprose123 -> RE: (DF) Notes from a Ranger. (12/16/2011 20:50:54)

Caring for a dragon.


Dragons are a pain to battle and a migraine to raise. First of all, if your's is anything like mine, he will try and put everything in his mouth, even things that would normally eat him. If a man in the square of Falconreach offers you a dragonleash, don't take it. It's a piece of rope.

And then there's the part when they get around two to two and a half when they start to breathe fire. At first, they just can't control it. My drapes were on fire half of the time, and my coach never survived. After about three months I thought he still couldn't control it, but apparently he just liked to light things on fire and watch as I scrambled to put whatever he lit out. This made me mad, and I didn't feed him for a week. This was of course a mistake, seeing as he swallowed my dagger. And the hydra poison they were tipped with didn't help with his digestive track either.

Turns out Dragon barf is a good substitute for molten lava.

Naming your dragon is always a stressful experience. You have to pick a name that suits the way your dragon acts and feels. It always helps if you can understand your dragon as well. I named my dragon Arow for example, because he's a fast little lizard, and is always sharp and attentive. Another good thing to keep in mind is that the name will have to be something they will respond to. Naming them something like, "Foofie Mchugglebuns" is not the best idea and will most likely not strike fear into the hearts of your enemies.

~Riprose Rehorn, Scorched and Flaming Ranger of the King's Court.



Riprose123 -> RE: (DF) Notes from a Ranger. (12/17/2011 14:22:19)

Togs


Togs are little things that seem to attack me wherever I go. The little reptile things eat everything, almost as bad as a dragon. They hunt in packs, so while one jumps on your face and tries to lick you to death, the others jump into whatever pack you left laying around and devour whatever may be in there, edible or not. Last week I lost a whole pound of Dragon Chow that I left sitting outside. The little buggers ripped the bag apart and devoured the chow.

And don't even get me started on their bark. They get louder and louder until you finally want to rip out your eardrums. Or maybe that's just me, seeing as other people don't mind it. Especially Rolith. He practicably worships the little monsters.

Ever been attacked by Sneevils riding Togs? They saved our butt awhile back in the Popsproket war, with a bunch of heros who just wouldn't give up.

But, back on track, togs are a nuisance if you aren't prepared for them. The best way to get rid of them is to get a pit grinder and make it run like hell the opposite direction. A Tog will chase anything that's relatively fast and small to medium sized.

~Riprose Rehorn, Broke Ranger of the king's Court.



Riprose123 -> RE: (DF) Notes from a Ranger. (12/18/2011 10:02:11)

Equipment Care


Now, Lore is covered with magical weapons of all shapes and sizes. And when I say magical, I mean magical. I've seen a staff that could easily cut through a three nice chunks of steal. But most of the time, you will not have a very powerful magical weapon, or one with no magic at all. This is when you need to know how to care for it.

Now first, let's start out with the weapons. The first thing you need to know is a dull blade will not cut. Yes, I know this is common sense, but I've met people who's blades are chipped, dull, and rusted. And they called it a sharp sword. This is where the wet stone comes in. Simply grind the blade down a bit, make it even on both sides so that neither is to wide and so the sides are sharp.

Next we'll talk about your armor. Now, getting things out of your armor is a pain. It took me three days to get the venom and spider blood out of my Dragonlord armor after a Titan battle in Ravenloss. Rusted armor is a very bad thing also. Be sure to oil the hinges and polish it when the battles done.

Now finally, it's time to talk about your backpack. Why would we talk about the endless pit you can fit weapons in? Because it rips and tears easily. Also, It will get heavy after about thirty weapons or so. Just stay fit and there should be no problem.

~Riprose Rehorn, Hunched over Ranger of the King's Court



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