(DF) Darkness (discussion) (Full Version)

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Silver500 -> (DF) Darkness (discussion) (1/3/2012 8:20:40)

Umm ere is where to discuss this fan fic I guess? eheh ^^; http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=19955875&mpage=1&key=�




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF) Darkness (discussion) (1/3/2012 10:10:34)

Now, let's begin shall we?


quote:

Eventually however he reached the bottom of the stairs, this led into a short corridor that was littered with large rusted metal shards and several scattered bones, the man continued to walk down the corridor, at the other end lay the twisted remains of what used to be a thick metal gate and more bones with several pieces of armour that lay scattered around, some even embedded in the stone walls near the gate.

. The

You sometimes make your sentences too long.

quote:

It was now Drakath’s turn to look away. “I don’t want to be a tool for another master. I need someone who can help me master both myself and this power without seeking to rule me.”


Assuming you are talking about Drakath and the power of Chaos, even in AQW he serves another. Did you not see the eye?

Aside from the fact I don't like Drakath from AQW, I did enjoy this piece of writing. I am curious to see whether there will be more chapters in the future.




Silver500 -> RE: (DF) Darkness (discussion) (1/3/2012 11:27:59)

Thanks for the tip man, I always either make sentences too long or too short, its something I'm trying to work on. And they I am considering doing more chapters, but there is many things I still need to work out beforeI do so. Also the eye will come into play later on in the story if I get that far.




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