RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (Full Version)

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Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/22/2012 2:52:31)

Oh I forgot you haven't read since Domino fought Innocentius...well, I'm not sure you SHOULD but 13 was a good chapter so eh, if you wish to.

EDIT:I made 10 pages o:



Razen -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/26/2012 3:26:47)

quote:

They ran about the ship for a good 20 minutes or so until they tired out and fell asleep on the ground.


Err...what? Ground? Wouldn't the floorboards of the ship make a bit more sense?

Aside from that, the new prologue is lovely, granted a tad on the long side.



Mortarion -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/27/2012 20:23:00)

I read the prologue finally, and I loved it, keep up the good work Glais



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/29/2012 0:00:32)

@Razen and Mortarion:Thanks for the kind words! I know I'd kinda been bugging you to read it for a while Mort xD

Chapter 1 has now been rewritten. I can't help but feel it's missing SOMETHING, but I'm not sure what exactly...

EDIT:I think the issue is how little I focused on Z&V. Will go back and add some dialogue and details on em later.



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/29/2012 4:41:57)

Quick question. Should Stonefall be still standing today (in DF's current era), where should it be located? Based off the in-game map of course.




Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/29/2012 16:41:23)

I hadn't quiiite figured out where StoneFang was exactly. I had a vague idea, but I don't have DF's map in front of me to figure it out at the moment, sorry D:



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/29/2012 16:52:46)

A(n outdated) map.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (6/29/2012 17:12:54)

Thanks! Well for now let's say it's nested in those Mountains below WillowShire that have nothing in them. Just pretend there's a lake there.

Once I rewrite the bits where Innocentius goes to StoneFang, the town will be a bit more...interesting hopefully.

On the note of still standing today, it sort of it. It never quite recovered though so now it's just full of explorers and merchants.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/2/2012 2:02:51)

Chapter 1 rewritten um...again >_>
I was not happy with the former version. This one is closer to the old plot while adding a few new things to further the true story.

EDIT:OK NOW IT IS DONE, AND I AM HAPPY. x_____x



Razen -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/4/2012 2:21:42)

quote:

"Well after a particularly difficult day of work in this blistering heat, what exactly do you expect em to say?" He smirked before standing.


Endless Mike is in this story? I'm amazed and scared already...Joking, of course. *me

And, I see how you show the pompous Elves...oh joy. Mordy will be ecstatic!

Also, throwing rocks at a Dragon*Lord*? Remind me to give you an internet for that one.

@Below: Oh...well...um...YOU SAW NOTHING.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/4/2012 2:25:49)

xD Oh gosh, how did I not catch that, brilliant.

And well yes. Though I will not treat Elves badly in the story, I just thought it was fitting in this case.

Well, moreso the idea was to throw rocks at the DragonLORD but um, ok.



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/4/2012 22:50:27)

Oh dear...And to add some salt to the wound

quote:

Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your businesses? Your children? Your VERY Liiivvvvvesss??



Anyway, it's nice to see Innocentius and Drazhn to have some sort of friendship between them.




Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/12/2012 18:36:22)

Never trust da Elves! D:<

Anyhow, Chapter 2 is redone! Quite action packed. See last Chapter 2 I skipped over Innocentius' and the Golden King's fight. WHAT A HORRIBLE IDEA.
Also this one only took so long because I had to rewrite it from scratch. Others hopefully shouldn't.



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/14/2012 1:51:32)

Awesome chapter. With Rouan kidnapping the boys, I guess the riverine keep arc will take longer then. The duel between Gregory and the GK was very entertaining and fast paced. Perhaps this incident will be an awful mark that'll change Innocentius forever.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/14/2012 2:08:42)

Thanks for reading!

Yeah, I will try and keep it the same length, Riverine's run insanely long as-is. The main thing with him kidnapping them is I need to introduce Emotion.

And yeah, I figured it would help him serious up a little. Not that he wasn't already serious, being a High DragonLord.

spoiler:

Also it's what makes him more willing to follow whatever Drahzn's plans were, though he changes his goals and ultimately forms the Inquisition.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 9:39:16)

@glaisaurus_x: I've been thinking, you mentioned there was this great anamoly which destroyed the city.

spoiler:

You could also make it so that it's the reason behind the deadlands north of Willowshire.


quote:

The DragonLord Order, once the Alliance of SwordHaven's mighty weapon, had now been laid to ruin.


What do you mean by this?

quote:

It bored a painting depicting Angelic Knights among the clouds. He'd often wondered what these beings were but eventually decided they were invented by the artist. He'd never come across anything like them anyhow.

I believe this is "bore", as in "bearing" past tense.
spoiler:

*cough*Jeanne*cough*

quote:

"You are aware of the Golden King, my friend?"


When I read chapter 2, a little story formed in my mind about Goliath being smitten by Daniela.
Still, I'm missing some ball play reference which was supposed to function like the Karate kid-training you mentioned.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 12:35:06)

Oh! That's a great idea! Though I'm not entirely sure it's possible, it's definitely something to consider. Will get to those fixes as usual.

Alliance of SwordHaven is used to refer to the northern half of the war. I wasn't sure what else to call it.

On the Karate-Kid thing...eh, I don't know actually. Since this is pretty much being made up as I go along, it might not fit (which would make no sense). I'll try to make everything work together.

Thanks for reading/comments again. Chapter 2 (unless you read it already but it doesn't sound like it) should have a rather fun fight I think.

Still trying to work on my descriptive skills though...



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 18:52:45)

That's actually a pretty cool idea for an origin story. Now that DD has mentioned it,

spoiler:

The Deadlands, or whatever it was before, could be the place where the final battle/or any battle of great magnitude would occur. Then again this is still quite a stretch and you're the author.


@DD's spoiler

spoiler:

That could make sense, as the concept behind the being called Jeanne has 'existed' throughout centuries, living different lives.


By the way, Glais, you say the GK's kingdom is to the south. Do you refer it from a perspective of someone who is looking at the map (as Swordhaven is already seated deeply southwest) or is it from Swordhaven's point of view? That would mean the kingdom would be far east, beyond the Sandsea. Of course, unless you mean it's located in an island or a continent beyond Battleonia.





Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 19:10:00)

The Southern King(AQ) is South from the Map, as my mapreading skills are lackluster, I just went with the simplest thing for me. Though storywise it would actually make more sense to base it off SwordHaven...

The Golden King's home however, is located on an island...

As for the spoilers.
spoiler:

On Jeanne, possible, but I will wait until I know more about her before adding anything on her lore.

That could work, though for a specific reason regarding Act 2, it will take place somewhere else. I could say where, but that might give things up too easily.


Once I DO get caught up with the rewrites, me and Mortarion have set up how the next arc will go. The Wind trainer who I...just came up with today, is a sort of hermit former DragonLord who lives alone in the mountains with his Sand Dragon. Eventually, he decides to move (or plot forces it) and they come across a fledgeling village. The village is Mortarion's hometown when ti was first founded. It's moreso a nod to his story, as his being connected to Aizen's, I can't have my canon mix with that.

Dravir play a large part in it...



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 19:23:00)

quote:

The village is Mortarion's hometown when ti was first founded.


Cannibalistic rituals then?

Oh Dravir, I'm sure DD would be very much pleased.




Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 20:29:27)

Actually it's...pretty normal. They have some weird tradition involving Necromancers but I didn't really understand it.

Yeah apparently said village eventually forms an alliance with the Dravir so...now you know what that mini arc will be about.

My main issue now is trying to keep the arcs non repetitive. I don't want to do a timekip and cut things out either.



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 20:36:13)

What do you mean non-repetitive?



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 20:39:34)

Well, just "travel to new teacher, rinse, repeat" will get dull. Since we have several more. I think I'll be fusing the Light and Darkness trainers though, since he revolves around Shadows...so that fixes that. Maybe.

I never came up with a cool and unique Ice trainer...Earth was settled on.
Eh who knows. I just want it to be fun.




lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 21:35:44)

Ice trainer you say?

spoiler:

Here's a tip: He's a giant too.

Get it? *wink* *wink*





Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (7/16/2012 21:50:55)

Zehahahahahaha!

Sorry, in a One Piece mood every now and then. But that is intriguing, though I'm looking for something a bit...weirder.

So far this is what I have.
spoiler:

Wind:Sage/Dragon
Energy:Sir Jing. With his assistants. Takes place near where PopSprocket will be.
Earth:A young mountain. Reference to one of the few things I liked in AQW(Crag&Bamboozle, where Crag mentioned he was a baby mountain)
Light:Thief, Sand-Elf.
Dark:Possibly the same as the above, making it a Shadow arc. If not, he's a rich man living in an estate somewhere in...I'm not sure.


Ice is the only one undecided.



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