RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (Full Version)

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Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/23/2012 10:36:07)

Honestly I have no idea. I just luckily realized it was completely ridiculous. It did have to do with Valdur's mistake though. I will tie it in later that Innocentius DOES solve the King's wish, but not in the eay the King would expect.

I'll leave it out then. I think I had misunderstood something and thought you wanted it there. But yeah I have no real idea what do to do with it exactly, it just wouldn't be executed well. Plus, it seemed like you had secret plans for them. It would be better for me to stay out of it as mistakes would render Past Present non-semi-canon to Hounds of God thus making my attempts at using the characters well useless.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/25/2012 2:07:03)

Aaaaand....chapter 4 is up! I feel kinda odd about this one, but I mainly just wanted it to explain what will be happening.

EDIT:Currently editing, don't bother reading it yet.
EDIT2:Done



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/25/2012 6:38:16)

quote:

He walked back into his library, full of every type of book one would need and thus contained every type one would never need. These only further bored the King who was an avid reader.


Perhaps it's just me, but I don't get this. He was an avid reader who was bored by books?!


I'm confused as to why Drageth thinks more power would mean less boredom, if an entire kingdom cannot suffice his needs then how could the entire continent?

In conclusion, Drageth intrigues me a lot more than his "ally".



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/25/2012 14:53:34)

No, he was bored because he had already read them all, perhaps I should clarify. Thanks for catching that...this chapter felt so weird.

And well, yeah he thinks more will satisfy him. I guess it is an infinite hunger sort of thing. Obviously it won't and the ShadowScythe know this but they really could care less aout him so long as he helps them rebuild. I will make sure to elaborate on it more so as to clear things up.

Hm, didn't expect him to be so interesting, but at the same time I didn't expect the ally to either as he doesn't have much of a personality yet.



Mordred -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/26/2012 15:20:46)

Heh, finally caught up. I do wonder why there's only 2 years available for training to two. And Slugwrath's ally intrigues me, since I can't quite pinpoint what/who it is. :P



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/26/2012 16:40:20)

The Ally himself is an original character. His Scythe is someone we all know, providing it doesn't break canon.

And well, as for the Two years, let's just say that the network of Trainers and Escorts (capitalized for a reason) are very well informed of current events.

And thanks for catching up, I appreciate every read xP



VanHellsin24 -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/26/2012 16:45:29)

Wow this story is nice. Not bad glaisaurus.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/26/2012 17:19:20)

You read the whole thing that fast? Thanks, I really appreciate it!
Anything specific you liked or disliked?

This is my first time writing, so there's bound to be mistakes and such.


EDIT:Also, a bit of retconning. 2 years is way too short. Instead, they will be 14, and thus will have 4 years. 3 to learn the elements, 1 with the 9th master.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/27/2012 2:29:57)

Yo dawg, I heard you like to read so I put a chapter in your story so you can read while you read.



lordkaho -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/27/2012 3:26:16)

You know what, I really need a smack on the head right now. No wonder Riverine Keep sounded all too familiar, it's the abandoned fire dungeon with 100 rooms right? And to think I've been reading this for 5 chapters and didn't have a slightest clue on what is was. Just goes to show I really need to play DF again.

Anyway, so we finally learn of Drageth's first meeting with his dark "friend". Seems to be that there are lots of enemies on the table, though I try to not get confused on the factions involved. And speaking of enemies, the Shadowscythe finally rears its vile head! The drums of war sound yet again.

I wonder, will this be the reason why Riverine keep is what it is now?




Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/27/2012 10:43:15)

I'm considering it, it probably will be, but I feel kinda stupid for saying I didn't even bother planning that out. It is SUCH an obvious plot device.

And heh, yeah I noticed the name on the map so I figured I'd use it. Initially they'd just learn to fight here, but then I remembered how fiery it was.

But yeah I noticed I kept jumping around so many characters. For chapter 5 I tried to focus on some already established characters.

Plus, I also wanted to see if I could write one chapter without a single break in it.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/28/2012 21:07:13)

Very minor update, but reading through some other L&Ls and their commentaries I realized I broke an amazing rule:I never described the main characters' appearance.

In Chapter 1 Z and V each have a paragraph where I futile...ly attempt to describe their clothing and such. So yeah...

Chapter 6 will probably be up Thursday, looks like I should have a good amount of free time then.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/29/2012 2:24:37)

Woah, triple post...oh well, this one brings an update, so it is legal.

Chapter 6 is UP...though to be honest, I really dislike the second half. You can expect a rewrite of it very soon.

EDIT:Actually, I hated it so much I deleted it. The other half will be here whenever.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/29/2012 14:30:08)

quote:

What was odd about the woman was that her skin was a light blue and her ears, pointed. Besides that, she seemed relatively normal. She had long black hair and was of average height (around 5'8") though she also carried a staff.


Strangely enough the first thing that came to mind was a vartai. I do think you should describe what she is wearing, seeing she's a dragonlord and a mage.

Though my biggest surprise was to learn that she lived on land.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (2/29/2012 17:15:20)

Ah right, definitely. I'm somewhat bad at descriptions....guess I'll need to learn.

As for the latter statement, so was I as weird as that sounds. It's not an oversight I assure you.

Anyways, I'll probably touch up her story as well, it just feels...boring. I don't know.

THanks for the read though!



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/1/2012 22:24:58)

Sorry to do this again like I did with Chapter 1, but Chapter 6's first half has been revised to make a bit more sense, clean up dialogue, add a description of Saru, and overall improve it.

Part 2 will hopefully be done later tonight.

Chapter 6 is DONE. May be a little short, but I felt the way it ended was a decent setup.

And yes, an Elemental has an accent. (Based on Mohammed Abdul from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure the Abridged series).



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/2/2012 11:02:02)

quote:

The market (because back then, T/the SandSea's people weren't too poor to have shops) was overflowing with customers and travellers.


Just notice how Sek-Duat speaks of his lands.

quote:

With that, the Giant continued on his way into the pyramid.

Is he already on the pyramid's doorstep (into) or is he yet to get there (to)?

What do you make of the guards in the palace we never fight anyway?



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/2/2012 18:38:29)

Will get to those corrections, thanks for catching em.

And hm, honestly the guards we never fight seem more like Sek-Duat's harem rather than guards.

Though I will need to think of an explanation as to why he started using those instead of the Elementals, hmmm...



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/4/2012 0:05:31)

Chapter 7's up. I feel a bit off here, so there will be revisions. Course, those are kinda difficult without feedback but whatever, heh.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/4/2012 6:09:57)

I wonder how Sek-Duat will "lose" control of the mummified dragon.

quote:

The people of The Sandsea looked around in amazement. Their great Emperor? Here? In the city with them? Their lives were likely completed.

I thought Sek-Duat's masterplan was to get everyone to hate him so he could sacrifice them. I don't sense much hostility though.

By the way, is the city already covered by sand at this point?



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/4/2012 13:29:54)

Exactly. This chapter has so many weird inconcsistencies I need to fix, like his master plan...being to escape? He could've just done that the whole time.

And I would assume not, there is a lot of sand, but not running up the buildings. There's more people travelling around at this point. Thus keeping it down I guess.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/4/2012 13:57:04)

Will your story be going into the reason as to why people in The Sandsea travel less nowadays?



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/4/2012 15:47:43)

Probably, but not this soon. The main characters will be staying in the SandSea for a bit later on in their journey, so I hope to explore the city and its ways more during that time.



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/7/2012 3:03:11)

Minor/Major update.

1:Erased the entirety of chapter 7 because it was just "ugly" in my eyes.
2:Got a little bit of the NEW chapter 7 done. It's not much, but I like it better than the old one.

"Aurevoire"
"B-But you can't-"
"AUR....EVOIRE."



Glais -> RE: (Pre-DF) Past Present Discussion (3/8/2012 0:57:29)

Another little bit done. Gonna take this chapter slowly...wouldn't want to have to rewrite it again.



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