(AQ) The tale of the master of magic! (Full Version)

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Kinzdor -> (AQ) The tale of the master of magic! (2/13/2012 22:28:50)

Story is here.
This story will follow my AQ character Kinzvlle Mageblade the 3rd, through his journeys and tests of power. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.




Glais -> RE: (AQ) The tale of the master of magic! (2/14/2012 0:39:49)

Seems to rush around a bit. For example the first paragraph, the sentences are a bit choppy and the dialogue seems I don't know...kinda odd. There's also a few typos here and there. I've also heard when a character speaks they are generally supposed to get their own paragraph for that. Makes it easier to read.

The Dracopyre bit seemed randomly thrown in in my opinion. Didn't really match the rest of the prologue.




Kinzdor -> RE: (AQ) The tale of the master of magic! (2/14/2012 1:06:04)

Fixed up the prologue a bit.

Edit: Chapter 1 is up. It is a bit short but the other chapters should be longer.

Edit 2: Restarting this, chap 2 is gonna start the REAL plot. You will find out why they call him the master of magic.




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