(DF)Arthur's Collected Works(Lancet's Story, WoTS, F'sF) (Full Version)

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Arthur -> (DF)Arthur's Collected Works(Lancet's Story, WoTS, F'sF) (6/2/2012 11:53:46)

Hey everybody, it's been long since I stepped in here last time. So, for those who are seeing me for the first time venturing into these boards, I am Arthur Dragonlord, I have already sired two stories in connection with the DF mythos. However, this time around, I decided to step in with a mature point of view. And here's what I have started.

Woe of The Seeker(Book 1)(Complete)
Fate's Fallacy(Book 2)

Yet another story, in fact, the first book in a series. Just to let you know, the Chapter 0 is what I have started with. It's a fairly short chapter that can be considered, something between a prologue and a chapter. Finding myself unable to find a fitting name, Chapter 0 is what I have called it.

So, do read what I have started with and make sure to check back and let me know what I've done wrong, where have I done it and feel free to discuss and criticize in general.




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/2/2012 12:23:51)

Ah, I thought I had already commented on another story you had. Seems I was right. Let's take a look at this one shall we?

quote:

but his legs just won't respond


wouldn't

quote:

the hero said as he placed all his weight upon one knee and shakily; stood up.


The, I don't see what ";" is doing there.

May I ask why they spared the dragon? Aren't they afraid of what a dragon who has lost his dragonlord can do to them?

Other than that it seems like a solid story to me. Carry on.



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/3/2012 19:22:23)

I'll edit those corrections.

And Dwelling, chapter 1 answers your question in a gruesome way. Expect at least a part 1 tomorrow.



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/6/2012 9:52:10)

Part 1 of Chapter 1 is up.
Basically talk.

Part 2 is gonna be more revealing as we set the story into motion.



nield -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/6/2012 21:50:35)

Very interesting so far, I'll be keeping an eye on this one, methinks.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/7/2012 9:49:38)

Chapter 1 came out pretty good, it's nice to see the protagonist is not always invincible.

I do think the last phrase sounds weird though.

quote:

"We ride to war in the next moons."


Is it a medieval way to say month (which is derived from moon) or do you mean he's saying they're going out during the next moons to hunt Sepulchure under the light of the moon in the darkness of the night?



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/8/2012 5:11:41)

@Nield, glad you like it.[:)]

@Dwelling, wait till you see more.

And yeah, I was really flustered when I was writing that phrase. I myself wasn't sure as to how to write days in medieval terms. So I went with moons rather than sun. It really does seem off.



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/13/2012 5:18:52)

Very nice, didn't expect your namesake to die so soon. I like that you involved OakLore and Rolith...



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/13/2012 13:55:16)

Part 2 of Chapter 1 is up. This part gave me the creeps even as I wrote it.

Do read and enjoy!

@glai, thank you for dropping by.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/13/2012 14:33:26)

quote:

"I just called on you today because it's something special. Something that only an ArchKnight such as yourself can do."

So they (or at least Alina) believed Ash without proof of his knighthood? Well, good for him.

quote:

The forest, on that particular day was devoid of Gorillaphants, even if Sneevils could be seeing frequently moving around amongst the numerous trees peeking frm behind this tree and that.


from

Good story so far.



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/13/2012 14:48:09)

Well, I am writing this story with all things considered.
So I made Ash an AK, and a rather young one at that.

I'll get to the typo.

Why does this story remind me of a dark, twisted caricature of the DF world?



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/13/2012 15:07:11)

@Arthur Dragonlord: Well, you did finish off the "unbeatable" hero/last hope in the fight against Sepulchure in the prologue of your story. That sets the mood for a rather grim and twisted setting.



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/17/2012 14:16:37)

Hmm...

Sepulchure you say?

The part 1 of the next chapter which is due tomorrow throws some light on the Darker Side.



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/18/2012 21:24:54)

quote:

"But....but I just wanted to give this to you," it shuffled closer and brought around its tiny hands from behind his back where Ash saw, much to his surprise that he was holding a polished stone. In fact, it was so polished that Ash could see the clear reflection of the forest behind him.

So cute ;~;

Anyhow, I liked this chapter because...Ash is one of my favorite characters. This also gave me an art idea, intriguing.

I find it odd that your character has already did by the time the story happens, very interesting.



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/21/2012 9:53:24)

@glai, then this new chapter is for you.



Chapter 2, Part 1 is up!!

Phoo, lots of questions.

What suddenly happened to Ash?
That has something to do with Necromancers attacking Alina...


But do read and give your views and criticism.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/21/2012 10:52:03)

It was a nice chapter, but I could not help but feel Rolith would've made a lot more sense than Ash here. Especially since Ash could not even cast a light of his own, despite being able to use "Light bomb" even without the help of the princess of light.



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/21/2012 18:14:29)

Kind of a weird chapter, but ok. It does feel kinda weird that they just...went to this cave.

Also, just curious, but why are you putting all the chapters in one post? Won't that make it a bit difficult to edit?



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/21/2012 20:07:15)

@Dwelling, there's a few places where Ash serves as a better choice as compared to Rolith with his massive Warhammer. No doubt that Rolith is an experienced one when it comes to the art of warfare, but even Ash knows a thing or two. Besides, considering as how this is a slightly alternate timeline, I decided to give Ash his due for once. I mean, he is hero material after all. But then, I shall ask you to wait for the Part 2 for it explains most questions.

@glai, I...I tend to type out lesser details than I initially pen down. But in any case, Chapter's not over yet. I shall strive to solve as many questions as I can while leaving a few open for Critic's speculation. :)

As for the posting thing, I find it a rather easy affair to Edit a single post. Do you think I should perhaps make multiple posts for ease of reading?


The next part, so to say shall give to you guys the Titular Character and the Hero/Heroine of my story. I must say, the loss of Arthur, my own Character is making it hard on me.



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/21/2012 20:09:15)

quote:

Do you think I should perhaps make multiple posts for ease of reading?

No, it's really clear as-is I was just curious. If you want to use multiple posts it's fine but it really doesn't matter.

And yes, Ash!



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/22/2012 3:58:25)

Chapter 2 Part 2 is up!

That's Ash's limit, you guys see!

Anyways, now I shall leave this part be while I go around visiting Rolith's team.

Sepulchure, for a while will get a backseat because this story is NOT about him. It's basically about the turmoils that the Good Side is facing in itself.

I believe wary readers are starting to get hints as to these Necrophages, Chronophages and the Chronoslicer Device.

And any wild guesses as to who is this Knight in the Shining Armor?



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/22/2012 4:08:07)

Chrono...hmm, time stuff.

And...well honestly I have no idea who that Knight could be, unless it's Arthur which would be pretty corny since...the point of the story is him dying xD



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/22/2012 4:18:28)

The first guess is right. Though I won't be pulling the time stuff again and again seeing as that'll defeat the point of the main focus.

And no, not Arthur. He is still dead.

Perhaps I have the eyes slightly off, but the rest should be pretty obvious. Check out his description, the sword.

What do they remind you off?



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/22/2012 4:25:35)

Absolutely nothing :l I don't remember anyone with a glowing Sword. It's probably just me though, someone else will probably get it tomorrow.



Arthur -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/22/2012 4:28:33)

This hint will help you enough.

quote:

I am playing with time here.

Past, Present & Future are all here.

The answer to your question is already in the cave. It was there before the question arrived.


'Nuff said. I have virtually given you the answer.



Glais -> RE: (DF) Woe of The Seeker Comments & Criticism (6/22/2012 4:32:40)

Drawin a blank.
Don't spoil it though, this should be intriguing.



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