Another Day as a Hero Commentary (Full Version)

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Necro-Knight -> Another Day as a Hero Commentary (6/26/2012 21:00:57)

http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=20431969&mpage=1&key=�

Feel free to leave any comments or points! ^_^ Thx!




Mortarion -> RE: Another Day as a Hero Commentary (6/26/2012 21:04:44)

As I told you before, I'll eagerly wait for updates to this story




Glais -> RE: Another Day as a Hero Commentary (6/26/2012 21:44:58)

Writing is solid and it's interesting to tackle something like the hero having repressed fear. I also like that you made the battle 7 years since timespan is a rather debated thing.

Only thing I dislike is the hero being a DoomKnight as it usually feels out of place and....I just hate DoomKnights.




Necro-Knight -> RE: Another Day as a Hero Commentary (6/27/2012 12:34:52)

Alright, I'll think about it. Maybe change him to a Dragon Lord, since that's the stereotype class for DF's hero. =p




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: Another Day as a Hero Commentary (6/27/2012 12:51:16)

quote:

or warning his friends nearby about the impending doom?


warn


Looks like good writing to me, but Drakath was purple and "The Master" was red. When this was what you intended to say, I'd suggest you turn this into one paragraph.

quote:

The Doom Lord’s servant had betrayed him in his moment of final glory, turned himself into a Darkness Dragon of unrelenting power. Only with the combined abilities of Sepulchure and the Hero did the dragon fall. The victory did not last, as the Doom Lord’s master arrived and revealed his true intentions to his little, red-armored pawn. He had simply used Sepulchure, he explained, to create a form strong enough to inhabit. The Master was a shadow being, and could not exist in the open light without a solid body or form, and with the slaying of the dragon…the Hero and Doom Lord has supplied him with one.




Necro-Knight -> RE: Another Day as a Hero Commentary (6/27/2012 15:24:15)

*looks...* OOOOOH, okay, now I see it. I'll fix that ASAP! Thx guys! ^^




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