(AQW) Usurpation of Death discussion (Full Version)

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Beshin Adin -> (AQW) Usurpation of Death discussion (8/4/2012 15:03:40)

This is my new story

It will be divided into 5 parts and an epilogue, so it'll get bigger

Hope this shows that I don't make as many mistakes now




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/4/2012 19:13:45)

quote:

And why shouldn’t they, if all Pomeranians were as lovable as this one?


should

quote:

The man was clearly a stranger to dental hygiene, as plague rats could consider has mouth a clean environment.


his

quote:

The SpiritHunters nodded, and begin heading upstairs to the prison.


began

quote:

Don’t spend all your time flirting with the Cadet.” Regina cast an annoyed glance at Veddrian. “Get off my back, grandma!” Veddrian’s eyes widen, veins show on her forehead, and her fingers curl in anger.


widened, showing, curled




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/4/2012 20:02:07)

K. Not too many mistakes this time, though^^




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/5/2012 6:55:48)

Okay, proceeding with the commentary.

quote:

The paladin battle-trainer insisted that Regina go with them.


went

quote:

There isn’t much to describe of a dracolich.


about

quote:

Since SpiritHunter swords were enchanted for extra damage to ghosts and undead


Ghosts are undead.

quote:

With this, the skull falls from the neck, and drops off the blade, to the ground, cold and lifeless. Veddrian checks her bracelet. “What he says may be true.


fell, spine, checked

quote:

She turns to the trees.


turned

quote:

Regina examines it with squinted eyes.


examined




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/5/2012 8:50:02)

Bleh. Stupid past and present tense. I'll fix it........




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/11/2012 16:46:15)

Part II is out




Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/12/2012 5:52:17)

quote:

a man came out,,


quote:

If needed, I shall take <> the field.


to

quote:

Veddrian’s eyes widened in fear as she noticed a bat-winged skeleton, who had successfully snuck past her while she was thinking and observing the battle, confirm her fears, and infiltrate the portal <> home.


infiltrated, leading back

quote:

The undead has no weapon arm, so it was forced to retreat.


had


Where was Ninita when they were attacked?




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/12/2012 10:11:14)

Wasn't it said that she was off exploring the castle when they were attacked?

Also, that one sentence basically reads 'she saw a bat-winged skeleton confirm her fears and infiltrate the portal.' Are you sure that's improper tense?




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death (8/24/2012 12:45:52)

Sorry it took a while, but Part III is done




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death discussion (9/3/2012 21:19:24)

Part IV is out




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death discussion (9/9/2012 15:30:28)

Part V is out. Remember, there is an epilogue. I will release it ASAP




Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQW) Usurpation of Death discussion (9/10/2012 11:28:36)

Epilogue is done.
So BOOM, that's the whole story




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