(AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (Full Version)

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Master K -> (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (8/27/2012 0:06:45)

Link to story...

Anyways, this story is starring my RP characters...
Any comments, critiques, compliments, and general discussion go here.

You were destined to come to this thread anyways.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (8/27/2012 0:21:11)

Seems like a solid intro, not much to comment on otherwise at the moment.



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (8/27/2012 0:40:41)

I'd type more, but it's around 2:00 AM. Tommorow, perhaps.

I mention the Dark Descent in Brendan's part...I wasn't too specific, mainly because the story is still going on in the RPA.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (8/27/2012 5:53:02)

While it is a nice chapter, I feel it has untapped potential.



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (8/27/2012 10:00:46)

I'm rusty at writing.
I usually take my writing and put it into the video games I make.

EDIT: Fun chapter! Brandon is still angry over the championships...
EDIT2: Emilee is introduced! She's from my first hosted RP, The Arena Challenge.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/1/2012 21:58:32)

I agree with Dwelling, feels kind of like it's missing something.



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/1/2012 23:24:12)

Apologies on not writing...
I get caught up with Minecraft and video game designing and such.

I'm rusty on writing, so...yeah. :(
I'm not on par with the rest of L & L.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/1/2012 23:35:26)

No no, it's alright man. Not like I'm some writing expert either. Just takes a bit of practice. I'm sure as you get used to writing again it will become more natural and you'll get used to it.



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/1/2012 23:43:51)

I'm trying to think up ideas for the next chapter...



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/1/2012 23:56:53)

Well, what do you have as ideas for the main plot so far? Main antagonist (if there is any, I don't know, could be a story where is no overall opposing villain)?



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 0:20:34)

I'm working out the plot as I go. Yeah, that's usually how I do things. Although, I usually some things.
I'm trying to work out a fitting antagonist...

I got a new chapter done! This time it's Emilee. I wonder if anyone will get the reference.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 0:34:11)

Ah I see. I make things up as a I go, but not to that extent. Well, I'm willing to help if you need someone to bounce ideas off of.



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 0:41:18)

Now time to get to Brandon and Brendan's chapters.
I have plans for the two of them, not specific though. I don't know what to do next...

I have Emilee's next chapter planned.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 0:52:10)

Chapter was a big improvement.

One thing I noticed, it's lacking a visual description of the characters, as well as age.



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 1:16:52)

I shall try and adress that in the following chapters, thank you for telling me. :)



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 9:09:44)

First, could you tell us a bit about Bren? Where is it located for instance?

quote:

For her, that mean't that night was coming, and she seemed quite far from any sort of civilization. She didn't like the prospect of travelling down an empty trail at night...although is such trouble should arise, she could defend herself.

meant, what are you trying to say here?

quote:

She opened her book that she was carrying

the (in my opinion it sounds as if you are repeating yourself)

quote:

and searched for her one light spell to light up the night.

quote:

her one light spell

Again, you seem to be repeating yourself here and in this case you really shouldn't have to. I suggest the following.

and searched for a light spell to light up the night.
her only light spell

quote:

There were two burned at the top of the pillars, burning with faint light.

Um, what?



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/2/2012 11:39:00)

quote:

First, could you tell us a bit about Bren? Where is it located for instance?


I'm actually not sure myself. Bren is the city made up for the Elemental Championships, which is an event that happens every year on the RP Boards. I just used it because Brandon was my entry into the EC, so it was apart of his backstory.

Thanks for finding those nasty little errors.

EDIT: New chapter! This time, it's Brandon.



Beshin Adin -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/10/2012 15:30:05)

I think the characters should've had more of an introduction



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/17/2012 20:39:56)

New chapter! Emilee's situation worsens...



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/18/2012 5:33:37)

quote:

The mountains hosted the beasts lair

beast's

May I ask why you shift in times so often?



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/18/2012 15:06:24)

Shift in times? Not sure. I thought I had it pretty wrapped up with the past three chapters. All the characters saw it become the same night. Now I'm on to the next day via Emilee's chapter. I'll try and do that less often.
Since it's obvious nobody knows the reference, Emilee's past chapters are one big Fatal Frame: Crimson Butterfly reference.

Sai & Yai= Sae & Sai
Maiyou = Anagram of Mio and Mayu
All Saints Village = All Gods Village
Cobalt Butterfly = Crimson Butterfly
The Speculum Observa = Camera Obscura

I started that part at the time I had played that game with my friend. It shall have some significance, at the end of it after
spoiler:

Emilee escapes from Sai and Maiyou's life draining ritual and loses her memory from a hex casted by Sai.


EDIT: New chapter! I'm trying to wrap up this mini arc of All Saints Village, then gonna move on to the other characters.
EDIT: Done the final chapter of the All Saints Arc.

For the curious, the spell words are Italian.

Piomno piedi = Lead feet
Rubare la sua anima = Steal her soul
Non hai mai avuto vita = You never had life



Master K -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/23/2012 15:43:42)

I'm not sure what Brandon or Brendans next chapters should be. I want to focus on them for a while, since I took the past few chapters for Emilee.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/25/2012 13:10:00)

Hm, so how did Emilee make the Cobalt Butterfly connection earlier?

Anyhow, that arc had something...different to it from most DF stories, I liked it.

And now she has amnesia...hmmmm.

Odd that there's no descriptions of the protagonists yet though.



Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/25/2012 13:23:12)

@glaisaurus_x: That's probably because it's an AQ story.



Glais -> RE: (AQ) Of Fate And Destiny Discussion (9/25/2012 13:28:22)

;>_>

Well it sounds different from those too. I meant the town gave off a vibe closer to that of a Japanese horror story than an *AE story.



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