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Dwelling Dragonlord -> RE: (Pre-DF) The Estari Gateway Discussion Thread (9/30/2013 15:17:14)
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he almost preferred prison, at least there he was a somebody, and had somebody to talk to.
He
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Where had he been all his life? Dashiell wondered for the 100th time. Was he locked up in a cellar all his life?
Try to mix things up a bit. It keeps your readers more invested in the story you are telling.
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Does he not know how to speak with people?
Did
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Raising an eyebrow, he saw a small figure move to the deer, and slash it's throat. killing it in an instant.
its, this feels as though it is part of the last sentence
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His bow and a quiver of arrows was strapped to his back, and his khopesh hung on a loop in his belt.
were
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His bow matched the wood off the tree trunks, his cloak matching the weeds and vines and bushes.
of
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it's innards seeping out onto the forest floor.
its
Where exactly were Dashiell's sleeping quarters located so he could see the event outside the walls unfolding?
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