=DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry

=DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (Full Version)

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Faerdin -> =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/16/2012 19:50:02)
You know the drill, L&L patrons and warmongers of Falconreach! Let's show how thankful we are for this delectable threat to Falconreach through a worthy tale or poem! Please remember that the =AE= Comprehensive Forum Rules and the Rules for Collaborations are in effect here. 1) Only one post is allowed per person. If you have an ongoing story or multiple L&L contributions, please edit them into your post. 2) Please reserve all commentary for the =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry Discussion Thread.

Condor -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/16/2012 20:02:13)
It was strange. The Thankstaking War. Many heroes have been missing from the world for many years after they Wargoth Event. But they still remembered the strangeness of these wars. Fighting started and then stopped, thanks to the horrific odor of the creatures. But the heroes pushed on, they had to. Falconreach was the last major city of magic left in all of Lore, so they had to defend it. Besides, you don't get to see giant edible food every day. just once a year. Pyromancers were surprisingly common in falconreach, once Cysero had started to sell Pyronomnicions. Convenient timing, considering that these birds needed to be cooked. It was strange though, with all of the fire in the air, the town was not yet ablaze (pyronomnomnomnomnomnicons haha!)

Dragonman -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/16/2012 20:08:49)
TDLNND Day 1 quote: ORIGINAL: The Odor The Odor skids onto screen, dodging a rampaging Turducken. Well people it seems we have another catapultless war. This time the battle is raging within city limits! We are at the moment unaware what unleashed this pest but we can tell you one thing. This food bites back! There are two new MOP recruits who might have more information for you but it currently is all but impossible to even get close. I must take this moment to point out that Wayne industries (the new mayors personal protection company) claims to be distributors of the NSC (Nitroglycerin sponge catapult) but yet when his city comes under attack they are absent. For this week we were also suprised by Geo with a nice new part of our saga appearing in book form. Namely the Thankstaking storybook. Now lets beat this war so we can go back and enjoy past adventures. This is The Odor reporting live from the front lines for TDLNND! Battle on and Don’t Fear the Darkness! Welcome to TDLNND. I'm Dragonman66 getting all news-y up in your face. Today the Turducken for Thankstaking has turned sentient. KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT! And this messes up Mayor Landis' Dinner plans. He is indeed more occupied with that. That makes me somehow very happy. Somehow MOP members Voodoo Master and ShadowDragon666 have not protected the recipe which is very strange, considering they are very compitent. Dragonman66 has announced, even though this war is helping his political opponent, he will fight the Turducken because they might be a small threat. Speaking of our future Mayor, these people are voting for him, and you should too: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, and Shadows Morgenstern. Good luck, and goodnight! Day 2: Dragonman66 here to "news it up". Do I really have to keep doing these catchphrases?... No I will not stop whining... Oh yeah, well you're an annoying producer! The three million wave Turducken fest is really disinheartening some warmongers, to re-inheart yourself, I suggest music, or something to make you laugh. In any case, seven percent of these ferocious fowl have been fried, with annother 93 still running. We asked Volltabolt if he had anything to do with the excess monster-sized food. He said, "You haf no proof that I haf anyfing to do wif ze turduckenz." The only problem with that satement was, he said that, before we asked the question. In other news Ash is leaving his band, The Destiny Knights, due to a fight with the guitarist formerly known as Paladin. He is quoted on saying " My name is Bob now, stop calling me Guitarist formerly known as Paladin!" He was obviously dillusional when saying this, as the news network has no idea what he was talking about. In election news, Dragonman66 announced who his running mate isn't, Doug Digg. Doug and Dragonman got into a fight, when Doug was being a big jerk, and stole Dragonman's pancakes, even though he told him not to... needless to say, tis lowers the list to, everyone who isn't a Rose member, or Rayf or Waen. These people know that Dragonman will decide on a good running mate eventually: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, and Popinloopy. Finally, today we remember Artix, the brave fighter who passed.... us on the street today. But it's remember the Battle of Necro U day, so we do really remember Artix. Remember TDLNND is sponsored by D00ms Hammer Bonks! Day 3: Hello and welcome to TDLNND. I fired my producer that was making me say catchphrases, so it'll be a little more normal around here. Today many, many, Turduckens have meet an end involving some sort of hero magic-ing, slashing, or bashing them to death. However, 81% of the foul food remains attempting to destroy our delightful outpost for the magical arts. It seems obvious that whoever messed with the cooking is a Rose conspiritor, people are blaming not only Voltabolt, but Oishii and the MOP this year. Because of this belief causing townsfolk to believe that MOP members ShadowDragon and Voodoo are Rose affiliated, they have even been asking the MOP member Dornalca, Chisagen, Chainsword, and Eric and Lady Ravenwing to step down. For some reason, the townspeople do not feel threatened by the feline MOP members. These riots have caused, humorously enough, the bakery to shut down. Most townspeople are too busy either fighting or rioting to get this irony. In other news, future mayor Dragonman66 has put out a warrant for the arrest of Batoro, because Batoro is an unlawful vigilante, and should allow actual heroes to do the heroing. Roblos and San Robin like this solution a lot. While Mayor Waen only relectantly approved the warrant. Is Landis Waen hiding something? More tommorow! Also, shocking interview with a warmonger tommorow you won't want to miss! Now a word from our sponsors. Do you like Hammer Bonks but not see D00ms enough? Well look no farther, for D00ms portable Hammer Bonf! Now you can Bonk yourself whenever you need. Hammer Honks are not for everyone, if you get side effects such as headache, heart attack, amnesia, Amnesia: The Dark Descent, or lip pain, tell your moglin and stop taking Hammer Bonks immidiatly. Dragonman66 is the best candidate just take it from these guys: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, and deathlord45. That's all for tonight folks, make sure to tune in tomorrow at TDLNND! Day 4: Welcome back to TDLNND the only news that gives you the whole story. Today special Waen expose edition! As you may have heard, yesterday Landis Waen signed the warrant for the arrest of Batoro. The man who wasgiving him political pressure, who happens to be me, was actually ploying to prove once and for all that Landis Waen is indeed a secret Rose leader. While simply being a memeber of The Rose is not enough to throw a person in jail, this would unrefutably proves that Landis Waen has been lying to the public. Dragonman66 humbly apoligizes to Batoro for putting the warrant on him, but it had to be done in the search for truth.... wait a second. This just in, Landis Waen has repealed the bounty on Batoro's. In other news, tune in tomorrow to hear interview with BraveSir Robin, and hear about the wondeful exploits of a aman, me, who will have done two different three hour raids in that day. Now a word from our sponsor: Evil. This is what Dragonman66 promises to fight during his time as Mayor. These are the honorable people at his side, working to fight evil: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, and deathlord45. Remeber to continue to tune in and remember, go to TDLNND for all your Lore news needs! Day 5: Welcome to TDLNND news. I'm dragonman66 going crazy beccause I did 2 three hour raids today. Thanks Leon ShadowHeart :P. So I inteviewed BraveSirRobin, here it is quote: So BraveSirRobin, how long have you been warmongering? Since the Wrath of Wargoth.Though in the Rift war I started warring.I wouldnt really call myself a warmonger though. Of the few wars you've fought in, which do you feel was most significant to Lore, and why? The Wrath of Wargoth I guess.That was pretty crazy.It really summed up the importance of fighting Wargoth.The Ebil War was good too.Finally taking it to Eilcorps. Cool! How do you feel about this war? I like it.Its nice to fight food sometimes.This is actually my first Thankstaking.Also the turduckens are delicious. Well, anything you'd like to say? Keep fighting everyone!Remember: We are warmongers We always win WE'RE FIGHTING FOR FOOD! Vote for dragonman66 Also thanks everyone for being awesome!And thanks dragonman66 for this awesome interveiw!Now lets eat some turducken! Haha! Yeah! Thank you for your time! No problem!Always good to talk with the future mayor! And that was the inteview. In other news, there was a fire in the Bakery, but nobody was hurt, because it was already closed from the riots. And Finally, a word from our sponsor. Dragonman66's eyes hurt. You know why? He went on two different three hour raids today to protect your city. Who wouldn't vote for someone like that? These people would vote for a hero: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, and Yuttt. Would you? And that's all for today, remember to umm... brush your teeth after you eat all that turducken! Day 6: Welcome to TDLNND. So today is a strange day, because, besides the war, absolutely nothing newsworthy happened. Literally, nothing. Well in war news, we went up to past a third today. And um.. the turducken have strangely been found to be... edible! Well lets hurry up then. So we can get to 50%. Vote for Dragonman66 because umm he told you to! These people tell you to too: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, and Yuttt. And TDLNND is brought to you by: Muffins! Eat them! (Or else) That's all for tonight. Day 7: Welcome to TDLNND. And happy Thankstaking! Because today is thankstaking, everyone is busy getting sick from all the eating they just did. In addition, this is making the war is go incredibly slow. So I have one thing to say, after Tomorrow, no more news will be broadcasted, until 50% is reached. This is my own little way of enticing us to get to 50%. TDLNND brought to you by: Starsaber's Muffins. Only SOME of them are poisonous. Vote for Dragonman66 for mayor. HE does news, and so, he knows what is going on, unlike Rayf or Waen. These people won't vote for someone who doesn't know what's going on: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, and Yuttt. That's all for tonight, see you tomorrow on TDLNND! Day 8: Welcome to TDLNND at this point we are at 45% and the threat of not having 50% tomorrow is very, very diminished. Tody has been a good day for the war, with 9% of the turducken army being destroyed so far. In other news, the riots in Falconreach have begun to die down, as people realized that ShadowDragon, Voodoo, and Oishii are neither incompotent or Rose members. They are simpley people who have been outfoxed by the nefarious Dr. Voltabolt. However, with Voltabolt's foul army ready, the town is still being destroyed, so normal citizens and farmers have begun to take up the pitchforks and torches, that they had been using to riot, to defend their town. Seeing how one of the onley two times the town was completely destroyedwas from Turducken, some townspeople are nervous. It is up to the heroes to keep them safe. In other other news, I have started to pick a running mate. I really have no idea who it will be, but I do know that they wil be the next Vice-Mayor. Now to a word from our sponsors. Dragonman66 is a kind soul who occasionally comes up with lame political ads. Landis Waen ALWAYS comes up with lame political ads. Therefore, Dragonman66 is smarter. Plus, he protects you town, while Waen does not. These people want a political minded protector: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, and Yuttt. If you wish to vote for me, just tell me! This broadcast also brought to you by Muffins. Now coming from Faerdin, Starsaber88, and blaze656. That's all for today, good night and goodluck! Day 9: Welcome to TDLNND today we have gotten from 50% to 64%, with all this speed the war will be over in no time (Or y'know 2 days!) In other news, other foods have joined the assault, and everyone is glad about this. This is because the other foods can't stun people, so they're weak! The heroes of Falconreach have also finally prepped the catapult and waves are dissappearing faster than ever! Secondly, it turns out those riots a few days ago were started by Rose members implanting false information. The Rose member who implanted this information is none other than one of the farmers who was rioting, Mr. Dragonblade, Ash's father. He is being held in the Libraseum, because there is no Falconreach Jail, for disturbing the peace. Finally, Dragonman66 has announced he is supporting the strange new magic exploration, void exploration. He wishes to continue void exploration, which has been at a near standstill for a long time. That is another good reason for voting for Dragonman66 like all these people:Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, and Yuttt. This just in, those guys are the greatest ever. Remember TDLNND is sponsored by Muffins! Faerdin's Buffin's and Cysero's. And that's it for tonight! See you all tomorrow on TDLNND! Day 10: Welcome back to TDLNND. Today we reached 75% good job. In other news, there is no other news. Absolutely nothing newsworthy happened today. Or did it? Nah, it did, I'm just to tired to say it, or even political speach, so uh good warring everybody. Pertend I said some story about Twig eating cheeseburgers. That's it. Day 11: Welcome back to TDLNND! I'm you host Dragonman66. Since our last broadcast we have only increased 4% the war cannot go back down to it's slow speed during the first few days, that would be devastating. We must win this war. As alluded to previously, a group of Cheeseburgers has come to life and is attempting to eat Twig. Luckily, the citizens who were rioting and then unsuccessfully warring, have taken it to themselves to protect the local moglins, from food eating them. And in other news, Frostval is around the corner, everyone is excited for this celebration of Winter and the Hero. Unless Zadd is involved, let's hope he isn't. Finally, Dragonman66 has announced he is funding a new void ship series. These Ollopa class ships will be able to safely travel with manned missions through the void, to see what exactly is in there. Vote dragonman66 if you want to explore the void. Dragonman66 wants to explore the void, and these people support him:Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, Yuttt, and Rider of Firnen. Contact dragonman66 to vote now! Thanks for watching. And stay tuned, How I Met Your Minion is up next! Day 12: Welcome to TDLNND. I'm your host Dragonman66, here to say news thingies. Today a freak storm arrived, the turducken are apparetly getting in the water sources. This greasy water has evaporated, and today moonridge has payed the price with a grease storm. Through some strange luck there was only one injury, and it wasa a high up rose leader. In other news, Sek-Duat has declared war on Aisha, overe a matter of debt. We do not know much more about the causes yet, but we will get to you on that tomorrow. And today Falconreach has managed to use the Gelatonous Cubes and Jell-a-TON Molds to barricade the docks from The Rose. They won't be able to invade for another few days at least. Finally, Twig has been succesfully protected, all of the Moglin-Eating cheeseburgers have been killed by the riot mob. Unfortunately, the riot mob are all sick from grease-water, and will no longer be able to help. Finally, the network has told me I'm not alloud to sponsor my own newscast. I may have to fire them. Day 13: Welcome to TDLNND. I'm his little sis', Pielover, that is more awesome then everyone! That was random. Regarding the war between Aisha and Sek-Duat, it has been revealed that Aisha owes Sek-Duat two gold. Sek-Duat really wants his money back becase she has owed him money for 5,000 years. Including intrest she now owes him her entire queendom. in other news ponys are eating too much and are eating all the weapons in swordhaven. this is good because our ponys are fat, so we will have alot of pony weapons. In other words it is raining Delicious pie if you haven't noticed. and um watch out for the pumpkin Pie-rats ! remember this was brought to you by ...PIE!!! oh and vote dragonman for mayor !!! Day 15: Welcome to TDLNND we are at 95% and have only 7 hours to complete the war. Will the turducken best us again. This reporter highlry doubts that. In other news, I'm not going to say any other news except FIGHT, FIGHT like there is no tommorrow! Thank you, and vote for me. Dragonman66 is brought to you buy his supporters: Zork Knight, bob!!!, Kinzvlle, Xan, The Odor, Dornalca, djkramer123, 100Rob123, Prince Amrod, Wraith, Baron Dante, ~SoaringAbove~, GreyWarden, Angelixx The Good, Faerdin, plue344, DoomCake1234, Ace127, The Cow says MOO, Axel459, Deviance, dragon deamon, The Master, bobeee, smartman294, Keldor, megakyle777, Rytis 155, runekiri, Civer, Und3rgr0und, glaisaurus_x, Drago_BloodMoon, kingyugi456, AlkaNephrite, WallyWeaver, Lightcaster, golden1231, Voodoo Master, Soulless Shadow, 1girlhousefan, 3 Vandoran, The Hollow Soul, lloydbunyan101, dragonman111, Varen6398, VanHellsin24, ACW0, god of insatily, Derith Raxonus, Dart Ichimonji, Ferakin, Dragon4455, Hopeful Guy, Drakonnax, Dwightt, Rukaji, Mortarion, magmartorlx, Frost Moglin, Selutu, zachmac, Smog (and his spoons), gamer rulez, BraveSirRobin, zeppyzeppy, killer 15683, Starflare, Darius, kim346, Dragonknight315 (and the 7 other knights of creation), Nessaling, hellblade124, Death snake1, Reaper252, D00ms(and his Hammer), blaze656, Dragonlord93, Imaru, Had487, Chisagen, Icy Flare, killybob, .Joerte, Alethia, Stelios, Rayld, The_Rookie, Sainsbo, I am Legend. Not., dkfreak11, Supersei, Starsaber88, deatharrows, Raharu95, Axoris, RamDF (Twice :O!), Thejop, superbat67, Miran, Shadows Morgenstern, Popinloopy, deathlord45, Yuttt, Rider of Firnen, and magmaman

Mritha -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/16/2012 22:24:34)
Searching for a Third... Note: Continuation of a previous war story. A turducken scuttled past, chased by one of the warmongers known to reside in this war magnet of a town. Mritha paused to make sure the turducken would be caught, then continued on her way. She couldn't participate in this war, not until she found him. Having an inclination of where he may be, she opened the door to Lim's shed behind his shop. "Found you!" She said excitedly. "You were right, looks like we have another war this year. At least we won't be short on food…" she trailed off, not getting a response. The black dragonlord walked over to him and placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. No, this man was not just her friend; he was her kindred spirit, having shared a similar past and period of suffering. He didn't respond at first to her questioning glance, he simply turned to face her. Mritha looked down at the weapon in his hands, scratched and dented from long and continuous use, and yet it was also covered in a thick layer of dust. "It has been years…" Mritha swallowed, trying to speak past the lump that suddenly formed in her throat. "He… he still might come back. Silver Xoven wouldn't leave us for good like that, he just wouldn't." "Unless he couldn't come back." Draketh responded quietly, still holding the sniper rifle in his hands. His green eyes looked deep into her violet ones. "You think he is dead?" Draketh shook his head. "Doubtful, I was thinking more like he got trapped in the land of breakfast, where the Bacon Orb came from." Despite her sudden wave of depression, Mritha chuckled. "If he found that place, I know for certain he could never leave it. That boy was obsessed with food." A half smile teased Draketh's face. "It always amazed me how much he could eat and still be a stick. Remember how Lady Greydawn would always fuss at him for eating all the food in the Beacon of Hope tower?" "Yes, and no matter what tricks, locks, or spells she put on the cupboards he would always somehow get past them and eat every crumb." The sounds of battle had risen while the two had been talking, it sounded like the war was in full swing now. Still neither moved, remembering their fellow Beacon. Silver Xoven had been in Draketh's pillar of Mastery while Mritha was in the pillar of Light. So much time had passed since he vanished without a word or trace, so much had changed. Other members had been lost, but like Xoven their empty positions filled with fresh blood that proved to be wonderful friends and powerful companions. Even leaderships had changed since then, Mritha herself having lead the Pillar of Light for a time. Only recently did she pass the position on to Gingkage, a woman she knew had more time and desire to take the responsibility. "We can't use the warthog without him, Mritha." Draketh finally broke the silence. "We will have to fight on foot until we can replace him." "We have fought wars in this town with the seat empty, you cutting waves down with the turret and me mowing them over. The side seat isn't THAT important of a position to leave us grounded when empty…" Mritha protested. Draketh shook his head. "We have had too many close encounters. You need to focus on keeping the wheels on the ground and I can't look in all directions at once. We need another set of eyes at least, preferably someone that can use a weapon as well." Mritha sighed. "We are in Lore now; few people here know and fully understand the Halo Universe! Where will we find a third person to take his place?" "Few yes, but there are still people here." Draketh looked down at the sniper in his hands, sighed regretfully, then placed it up on a shelf where it would continue to collect dust. "We can't keep waiting for him to return. Keep your eyes open, Mritha. We will watch the warmongers this war and see if we can find someone who knows the Halo weaponry well and is willing to join our team." Mritha chewed her lip, her eyes wandering over to the empty side seat in the warthog that rested quietly in the shed. "I will." She softly replied. Draketh tucked a black and gold book under his arm, knowing the power it gave him would be more than enough to make a dent in this war. "Grab your gravity hammer, Mritha. We have a war to win." The black dragonlord hoisted her hammer, its charge igniting with the flick of a button. She stole one last look at the warthog, The Unyielding, they had named it one war. "Let's give 'em hell." The two friends gave each other an encouraging look, then charged into the war.

Derith Raxonus -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/16/2012 23:37:17)
*Turducken Tales* "Everyone DUCK!" a rough, dwarven sounding voice shouted. "From what?" Derith asked, wondering what he was going on about. His question was answered by an earsplitting explosion, decimating one of the buildings behind his group. "What the heck was that?" questioned Arran, the leader of the group. "Beats me. Do you think they finally got out the nitro-sponges?" Derith wondered. "If they did, they should've known not to fire in this area! It still hasn't been evacuated yet!" Araan said, frustrated. Derith inspected Araan, not sure how the guy got here. This alchemist seemed better suited for making healing potions than being on the front lines, let alone leading a rescue squad. He could weild the sword well-enough to defend himself, but not enough to actually deal damage. Deith sighed, not wondering what must've been going through Kains head when he put this group together. "Well, let's get evacuating, that way we wont have to worry about anybody getting blown up," Derith said as he began to walk off deeper into the southern area of Falconreach. The group followed him, with Araan trailing at the back of the group. After a few minutes of walking they arrived at their destination. In front of them, Aspenvale Academy stood, with it's front gates boarded up, as well as every window on the ground floor. Derith had no doubt that the people locked inside there would be in the second storey up. "So, what do we do now?" an elven archer named Solios asked. "What we should do is send sombody in through the second storey windows, then we can set up some kind of lad-" Derith was suggesting, when Araan cut him off. "Ahem! I beleive I'm the team leader, so I'll make the plan. You remember who got put in charge, Raxonus." "Got it, Captain Potion-boy!" Derith commented sarcastically, amusing the rest of the group, and making some of them chuckle. Araan muttered something under his breath, then walked up to the academy door and said "We should just open it up." "That... isn't a good idea sir," said Solios. "How?" Araan questioned, daring her to challenge his authority. "Sir, in case you haven't noticed, this is an obvious ambush area for the enemy," Solios explained. "How? We haven't seen a single one of them on our way here," Faridar, a dwarven knight, said. "Exactly. Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?" Solios said. "She's got a point," Derith added in, "They might have been hiding, waiting for us to find somebody, that way they can take all of us out." "That's ridiculous! There's no way they could be that smart. They're just idiotic monsters! Faridar, open the door up," Arran commanded. Faridar hesitated, and did what he was told. He pulled up his axe, then bought it down upon the door, breaking the door in half. "Wow. Tha's a tough axe," Derith said. "Obviously! This things made of dwarven iron, toughest metal in the whole world!" Faridar boasted. "Elven steel actually can't be broken at all," Solios remarked. "Yep, and I'm going to grow wings and fly, then I'll have a tea party with a mountain," Faridar said. "Guys, you're both wrong! Enchanted titanium is obviously the best choice," Araan said, showing off his sword, which was made of the metal. "Erhm guys..." Derith was trying to say over their arguement over metals, as he saw something move in the nearby foliage. "What?" Araan asked. "What did Kain say we were fighting?" Derith asked. "I dunno. He said something about one of Oishiis' dishes going wrong," Araan answered, "Why?" "Was the dish Turducken?" Derith asked. "Now why on earth would you ask tha-" Araan was saying, when a Turducken popped it's head out of a bush. It looked at them, then qwuacked... or clucked... or gobbled... or qwlubbled something out. Then a swarm of Turducken ran out from their cover and sprinted towards the group. "Hello? Is somebody here to help us out of here..." said a voice from inside the academy, which was followed by a flurry of footsteps coming down stairs. "Great idea Araan, let's just open the door, right?" Derith sarcastically said as he pulled out his sword. *** Derith created a small, condensed ball of darkness in his hand, and launched it into the nearest Turducken. The beast started twitching, then combusted, with parts of it flying into the other Turduckens, knocking a couple out. "Keep them away from the entrance!' Derith shouted as he jumped into the swarm of Turducken and slashed at everything around him, downing at least 10 of them. Derith let a stream of fire erupt from his hands, and used it to burn through the countless ranks of Turducken. Eventually one of them assualted him, runnning into him with its belly. Then more came at him, trying to hit him at every turn. He was stuck, and was getting hit too much to be able to focus his mana into any kind of spell, and didn't have enough room to lift up his sword. Derith started to feel himself slipping into unconsciousness, when he saw something very thin in the sky that looked like a bottle. It landed near a group of Turducken and... well... turned them into sponges. The other Turducken turned owards their now spongified conrades, and while some of them stayed and fought, others sprinted off. "Nice one Araan!" Derith yelled out to him ad he made his way back to the entrance, slashing at any Turducken that got in his way. "Pays off to be a potion boy, doesn't it?" Araan said when Derith arrived. Faridor, who had also jumped into the fray, arrived with a Turducken leg in his hand, followed by Solios, who strung one last arrow and shot it into the remainder of the Turduckens. The arrow then exploded in a ball of fire, roasting them. "I bought lunch guys!" Faridar announced as he held the turducken leg in the air triumphantly. Derith and Solios grinned at this, while Araan frowned upon it. "This isn't a comedy club dwarf. It's a rescue party," Araan grumbled. "Then heres a thought: how about we rescue people?" Derith suggested, then walked into the academy. ***

deatharrows -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/17/2012 7:59:02)
A turdurken walked up to me. I then killed it. The end[8D] Seriously I killed it. Then it's friends showed up and I waged a mini war while fighting in another war. Then Deathkitty kille dhtem all leaving me in utter awe. Eventually a titan showed up so I summoned my dragon and went murder rampage on his sorry self.

Gingkage -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/17/2012 14:57:12)
I was sitting inside Serenity's inn, enjoying the fire. Fall may be pretty, but it's too cold for my blood. Thankstaking (or was it Welcomgiving? I've heard both and have never been exactly sure what to call the holiday) was fast approaching. Everyone had a smile on, anticipating the holiday. Oh, of course we remembered that something had always gone wrong. But surely this time everything would be all right. After all, how many times could Turducken be thrown at us? A scream alerted me to a problem. Quickly standing up, I walked towards the door. I couldn't help but let out a groan at the Turducken. Again? Honestly, can no one make them without them turning sentient? But slowly, ever so slowly a smile crept its way onto my face. Where there was one Turducken, there would be more. And that could only mean my favorite pass time. War. A glance around showed me the other heros and warmongers of Falconreach. This only confirmed my suspicion. The briefest of thoughts called Blaze, my long-time friend and companion, to my side. The advantage of being a Wolf Rider over being a DragonLord, in my opinion. The hero's only bonded with his dragon through an amulet. He can't do a thing with it without that amulet. But the bond I have with Blaze is so much stronger and deeper than that. I am as much a part of him as he is a part of me. Blaze is smarter than the common wolf. And larger than even Thorn. Though I suspect the size difference between them is very slight. I wouldn't trade the bond I have with him for anything. "Are you ready for this, my friend?" Blaze doesn't have a language, so to speak (which I guess is an advantage to the dragons). I could, however, interpret his sensations and impressions, and yes, emotions, though more primal and base than my own. In this way, we have our own form of communication. I feel his amusement at the running food, and eagerness to hunt. A glance showed what I felt from him. His eyes were eager, his head and tail raised, his body was tense, ready to spring forward at any second, and his mouth was open in what I have always sworn is a grin. He was ready. But I wasn't. I closed my eyes and focused for a moment. My armor was shortly summoned to me. I'm told it looks a lot like the Guardian armor in design, only made of hide in favor of metal. It's color was a very pale blue, unusual for a Wolf Rider. Most of them prefered the darker, more foresty colors. That or colors that matched the pelt of the wolf they were bonded to. Looking at my right hand, I focused for a moment and summoned my staff to me, another thing that made me unusual. Most of my people were melee fighters. But I've always been more skilled with magic, making it a bit of a fluke that I bonded with Blaze. The only blade I've ever been good with is the dagger that I always have on my person. It's a simple dagger, at about a hand and a half long and only coming midway across my palm in width and with the slightest of curves. Most daggers are more decorative, borderline ornate. Even their hilts are fancy. Mine is plain, but I don't need something to be fancy to be effective. I quickly pulled it out of its leather sheath--which is the only piece of equipment I own that's even slightly decorated, having the emblem of a howling wolf on both sides of it--and check the sharpness. Satisfied, I place return it and mount Blaze, who by this time is practically foaming at the mouth with impatience. "Time to hunt." Blaze throws back his head and lets out a howl of excitement, announcing himself to be on the hunt, and charges into the fray. Carefully balancing my staff, I focus the energies inside it at a Turducken and, feeling the magic reach its zenith, release it in a beam of magic. As we approach, I quickly throw the staff behind my back into its carrier and draw my dagger. I quickly jump off Blaze's back and circle around to the back of the Turducken, while Blaze charges from the front. I make a quick and accurate slash at the back of its neck, right when Blaze leaps for its throat, spinning around a second later to deliver a powerful bite to a Turducken that was behind him. Sensing an enemy behind me as well, I also spin around and attack with my dagger. Three Turducken in a few moments. Blaze and I both feel an exhilerated thrill at the success of our hunt. He lets out a triumphant howl as I jump on his back again. After all, three was hardly enough to sate the bloodlust that was on us. Good thing there were Turducken as far as the eye could see. I finally had time to enjoy a well-earned break. Around me, my fellow warmongers gathered in small clusters, talking animatedly and, of course, eating. Nearby, Blaze was engulfing his food and looking very satisfied with himself. I had already eaten my fill. Turducken, of course. It seemed to be the tradition of this war. We kill a few thousand Turducken, we gather around (when we need a break) at the war camp and eat the Turducken we've spent hours killing. We'd done well, my long-time companion and I. We've demolished several waves. We've even seen some Turducken that had too much... whatever it was that made them sentient. Huge Turducken, that were disgustingly greasy. Actually... I think that's what Blaze is eating right now. Ew. But, he seems to be enjoying it, so... Well, with the bond we share, there is no 'seems' about this. He is very much enjoying his meal, and his body language coincides with what I feel from him. As much as I'd like to, I unfortunately cannot spend my entire time of rest reading a book and recovering some lost energy. So with a resigned sigh, I put the book I was reading up and summon my armor. I can summon it two ways. I can summon it directly to me so that I am wearing it (kind of like how Dragon Lords seem to be able to summon their Dragon Rider armor), or I can summon it in front of me, which is useful if I need to inspect and/or clean it. Which is what I need to do now. For food that freakily became animate, it packs a punch. I need to one, clean all the gravy off of it, and two, make sure it isn't damaged, repairing it if it is. I mutter a low oath when I find that, yes, it did take a bit of a beating from those walking... chicken... duck... turkey... things. Personally, I think the first batch was more chicken than anything else, but they've suddenly gotten braver. Must be an improved recipe. With a sigh, I reach into the bag next to me and pull out the supplies I need to mend my armor. It's a pain to mend, to say the least, but if I don't mend it, I'm not safe on the battlefield. So, painstakingly I start the tedious process of armor repair, taking the odd break to grab a quick bite to eat. As I'm mending, Blaze, having finished his meal, walks over, though I swear he glides more than anything, and settles down next to me with a contented sigh. Yes, that's a human thing, but it's the most accurate description that I have for it. Idly, I take a short pause from my repair and scratch him behind the ears. Repair done, I inspect it again to make sure I haven't missed anything. Once I was satisfied, I pulled out my dagger. I let out a hiss when I see that, yes, it is as dinged up as I thought it was. Quickly grabbing a cloth, I clean it, and let out a sigh of relief when I see that it's not irrepable. Reaching again into my bag, I pull out a whetstone, grinning slightly when I see it. There are probably easier ways to sharpen a blade, but this is the one that I prefer. Making sure that my grip on the stone is firm (I've sliced myself before by not having a solid grip on the stone, causing my dagger to slip. Not an experience I'm keen on repeating), I quickly, but smootly run the blad along it, making sure that both sides of the blade recieve equal exposure to the stone. After a few minutes of careful sharpening (with one near miss when an exclamation in the direction of the battlefield broke my concentration mid-stroke), I put the stone down and, running a cloth along the blade to clean it, inspect the edge to make sure it's sharp enough. Satisfied with the blade's edge, I put it back in its sheath. Then I stand up, stumbling slightly as unused muscles protested the sudden demand on them, and take a few moments to stretch. Blaze is instantly alert, and, after a stretch of his own and a quick shake, walks towards me. The break is over. Now we return to the hunt.

Chaosweaver Amon -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/17/2012 18:22:50)
A man on horseback wielding a bright, steel longsword galloped into the crowd of heroes and Turduckens. Nobody had a clue where they had come from, but the heroes were rather bored since Ebilcorp had tried to take over, so it was rather worth it. Two of the deformities waddled toward him and his steed, squawking annoyingly. He beheaded one in a single stroke, and sent a fireball rocketing from his hand into the other. Thank the elementals the pyromancers had come a few days ago, to have some protection from the rose, and now were returning the favor by roasting these horrific creatures. He leaped off his horse and threw three more fireballs into a mob of them. The pyromancers had taken some apprentices, he being one of them. His crimson armor glinted in the flashes of fire and other magics, his long red hair swinging to and fro with every turn of his body. He kicked one square in the face as it tried to latch onto his leg, jumping as another ran after it. He was having more of a sense of fun then fear he realized. He started to laugh as he chopped more down that blocked his path. His fun didn't last long. As he turned to see the other side of the little battlefield, he saw a giant metal machine rolling on one iron wheel, at incredible speed, straight toward him. He tried to dive out of the way, but it was far too late. He screamed as it thrust its drill-tipped arm at him, shredding through his armor like paper.

Joerte -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/18/2012 6:45:05)
The Secret is Fire The turkduckens, they're all around me. I can't help but feel overwhelmed. I haven't been that scared of a combination of an animal and another since the undead chickencow. I need to get their cries out of my head. I must do it. FOR LORE. FOR FOOD. FOR ME NOT HAVING TO PAY MY PSYCHIATRIST VOLTABOLT. I will become the bane of the turkduckens. A.K.A the turkeyduckenslsayer. I grabbed my Beak blade, put on my Turken cape grabbed my Hungry Birds game and set off into the midst of terror to overcome my idiotic fear. One by one I took down Turkducken's. I was doing it. I was becoming one of the most TASTIEST AND FEARSOME WARRIORS ON LORE. I was proving them wrong, in style. Everybody who said I couldn't make it was wrong. Now the waiters and butchers couldn't spit in my food. I was the ultimate hero. My mouth was covered with a beak based helmet. On the field I saw an unusually large turkducken. I knew I had to make myself stronger. Practically anything would help. An ally,a deadly upgrade etcetera. However I was unfortunate enough to have neither of those. But yet I still had to fight that evil, tasty monstrosity. I charged at it with all my might . This wasn't the most effective move. I bounced straight off it's stomach and fell to the floor. It brandished one of it's bones at me gave a vicious smile and pummelled me half to death. I could safely say that being beaten up by a Turkducken was an all time low. Still I had to keep fighting so I grabbed my Beak blade and slashed at the ferocious beast. I managed to cut off it's bones so now at least it didn't have a weapon. Until the bones regenerated…. I watched the creature in sheer shock; it was like nothing I had ever seen before. It oozed a form of goo. I couldn't help thinking that the goo looked a lot like gravy. However then the Turkducken did something even more terrifying. It quadrupled in sized. I thought to myself "aren't level 68 heroes that are crazy meant to start off fighting something easy like Wargoth." Nevertheless I couldn't stop now. I picked up my mighty blade. Then I grabbed the hilt of the blade and swung it around and threw it at the OP turkducken,Thor Style. However this had been an unexpected few minutes. And what was happening was about to top it all. A blade made out of a normal beak suddenly, lit up the sky. That's right it set itself on fire. That instantly took out the oversized turkduckens and a few others. I had to give the secret of fire to my fellow heroes on the battleground However I still was wounded from the battle with the OP turkducken. I needed a hero to spread the word. I was too weakened to shout and spread the word. Agonisingly I looked up. To my shock I saw a Soulweaver and a Voodoo Master. The Voodoo Master even had a tiki mask, dagger-staff and epic shades.The Soulweaver introduced herself as "Shadow Dragon." The Voodoo Master had a very witty name. It was "Voodoo Master." By their appearance you could tell that they were very eccentric. Shadow Dragon cautiously asked "friend or foe?" I ,just as cautiously, replied "Well I am against Turkduckens so I don't know what that makes me." Shadowdragon looked at me, facepalmed and said "friend is what you are, a very stupid one at that." I felt a little hurt but in all fairness I think I had it coming. Now it was time for me to share my secret with the friends. "I have a secret to mention," I said. "What is that secret?" asked Voodoo with his tiki mask changing expression. "Also is it a good or bad secret? We could use good." The secret is fire. What Do You Wish For ? Let the fires of lore blaze, Let Falconreach blaze, Is that what you warmongers want ?, DO YOU WISH FOR THEM TO WIN, Warmongers unleash your flames, Raid and assault to death, And take down the delicious forces of evil, With all your might, Infuse your powers with that of M.O.P, Show your might, EXTERMINATE.

The Odor -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/18/2012 8:09:52)
How to kill a turducken Why couldn’t they ever have a normal holiday? If it wasn’t kittens with abandonment issues it was a shrink ray, a safetymad knight captain or living plushies! And now it was… Main dishes… When he had gotten into the hero business he hadn’t expected this. Undead, elementals, dragons and maybe the occasional robot he had seen coming but NOT DINNER! Well… The city needed saving and he never knew when he could need more Defender Medals. He looked down in his massive bag, where between the coat hanger and the weapon rack a huge pile of medals laid covered in a thin layer of dust… He groaned and picked up the spear from where he had put it down, put on his skull helmet and walked out of the inn. It was time for War. The soulweaver skillfully slid away from the charging turducken before he threw out his soulclaw, which caught the bird by the throat causing the duckhead to get ripped off the turkey body. A second foe came up from his left but he raised his hand and a storm of chains swarmed the rounded form of the beast. At first they just skid through the thick layer of grease covering it without gaining any purchase, but the longer the chains touched it, the more solid the grease seemed to become until the bird was covered in a frosty layer of fat that the chains stuck to, making the turducken stumble and fall down in front of the soulweaver who finished it off with a stab to the chest. The Odor was uncertain if he had seen the man before… The buzz-cut seemed sort of familiar… But it was a practical hairstyle for fights and it was all but rare among the warmongers. The man raised his head and look ahead. The Odor followed his eyes. The man pushed his hand against the birds neck and wrenched his hand loose from the turkey carcass and before shaking off the bits of stuffing that clung to the loom as he spotted the… Herd? Flock? Flock of turducken heading for his street. “… I think he can handle it. We should look for Noel and see if he needs help.” Malus said from next to him. The Odor looked down on his dragon companion. “You know that I know you hate frozen food, right?” He said in a humorless tone. “… It’s all cold and sticky…” “… Fine. You go get reinforcements and I will go help him hold the position." Malus gave a happy squeal and flew off. That lizard got on his nerves… The Odor leapt from the roof from which he had observed the battle, slowly lowering himself towards the soulweavers position. Rob looked to his side as the necromancer touched down beside him. The man wore a horrifying skull visage and had strange bone wings petruding from his back. In his hand was a widetipped spear covered in spikes and bone. “Want a hand?” the man said, his voice dark and heavy. Rob looked up at the oncoming… Herd? The hundreds of bird legs stampeding towards their position… He would have preferred a clanmate but in war you can’t be picky… “It would be much appreciated.” He said and moved his hand through the air summoning a katana. “The name’s Rob, Councillor of The Celestial Guardians.” That was where he had seen him! “The Odor, Warmaster of ASIL.” He said and threw his spear forward, impaling two of the oncoming Turducken. Rob leaped forward with the blade, cleaving two before putting a foot in the face of another for which he was rewarded with a resounding crack. The Odor rose into the air and raised his hand so his spear ripped itself out of the bird carcass and flew back to his hand before he drew a skeleton out of the ground which unleashed an arc of black lightning over one of the birds. The air filled with the stench of burnt stuffing. Rob looked over to where The Odor was fighting as he bashed a turduckens head against a wall… His fighting style was weird for a mage… He used his spear to fight foes at range, mostly through jabs and throws close to being overextended, but using his magic to deal with close ranged foes. This was the direct opposite to most mages he had seen… And that wasn’t all… To the untrained eye the style seemed… Angry and barely controlled but during the hours they had fought only a of handful of hits had missed, and those that did were usually quickly corrected with magic… To him this told him that the style was developed to be false and misleading… And then there was the spear… He hardly ever saw anyone with a spear among the warmongers… Most mages picked the normal staff, wand or the occasional dagger and only used the weapon to drive away the enemies that got through their magic rain… And even then usually just to push them away from them long enough to blast face while the warriors took a sword, axe or blunt weapon, the rouges used dagger and all three tended to pick up a scythe every now and then. But a real spear with a mage? Could be a first for him. The Odor ran his spear through one of the birds and kicked the legs out of under one of the others before unleashing an orb of rot into the knocked down bird. He took a second to catch his breath and look around him. To his left Rob tossed a bird corpse into the oncoming flock before leaping into the fray. Another bird rushed him and he swung out with the spear and nearly fell over as his foot didn’t follow through. He looked down and saw the bird he had tripped and started rotting biting down on his foot. It hadn’t gotten through the armor but it had him like in a vice. He lifted his spear to kill it off but the bird coming for him leaped into his chest, making him stagger back, wrenching his foot out of the turduckens beak. A sharp pain leaped through his leg as his back hit a building knocking the air out of him. He stabbed the bird who had tackled him but two other leaped onto his side dragging him to the ground with them. Rob saw The Odor go down and in a second he was piled onto by turducken. He tried to get closer but as soon as he had gotten a turducken out of the way another took its place. They hadn’t been this organized a second ago… Had it been a trap? He got his arm around of their necks and pulled hard until the duck wrenched itself lose from the turkeys interior. The body slouched over next to him but suddenly a large shadow fell over him. He looked up and stared in awe at the ginormous bird towering over him. He sunk into a lower stance and launched into it. The only thing The Odor could see was grease covered skin and feathers as the turducken piled into him. His movements were limited by the weight of his foes… He managed to get his spear into one of the ones trying to crack his chestplate by hammering it with its boney appendages. He lifted the spear upward, pushing it through the pile until the greazy bird left the pile on top of him. Another bird got its beak around his upper arm and tried to crack the armor covering it. He kept trashing, blasting and stabbing at whatever parts he could reach but he quickly felt himself losing his strength trying to move under the weight… Oishii had to stop making such heavy food… What was wrong with pancakes? Rob went for the birds legs, trying to flip it like he had seen The Odor do but the bird was fast and landed a vicious, clawed kick towards his chest making him skid over the ground. He rolled up and looked over the battlefield. A black flash shone through the writhing pileup where his ally had been overrun. The necromancer was still alive and fighting… That was good news at least. The giant bird came running at him and he bolted to the side, before stabbing the giant bird in the side. The bird kept running which caused the side to rip and tear up, leading to some stuffing dripping out. He pondered trying to help Odor before he saw the bird turn… If he rushed off now the giant bird would get him before he was even close… The bird came at him again. He dodged to the side again but now the bone club of the turkey leg flew out as it passed him forcing him to jump back… It was hard to get any attacks in on a foe of that stature and mass. He was just about to attempt another attack when he heard armored feet coming up from behind it. Reinforcements. Finally! Jinde had just finished a major fight on the other side of Falconreach and was securing defenses when the black dragon had shown up. It had explained a backstreet was being attacked by a massive flock of turducken with only a pair of heroes to hold it. With most of the city being filled with fighting heroes and birds this was the closest battlefree zone. He had immediately set off to go help them out. His dragon Vikalus had quickly made friends with the dragon who had fetched them, Malus. They had been discussing foods, turducken taste and the proper employment of the Dragonlord transport method. Since they entered the wars No Mans land their progress had slowed significantly since they needed to stop and fight of a couple of ambushes and save some civilians but now they turned the corner to the battlefield where Malus Master was supposedly fighting. He rapidly took in the situation. The soulweaver that Malus had described stood before one of the Greased Turducken. At first he could not spot Malus’ master but then a spear broke through the writhing pile of smaller turducken across the street from the soulweavers battle. The spear was quickly pushed down again as the beasts crawled over each other, desperately attempting to get to the bottom of the pile. He couldn’t help but smiling. This was exactly the thing he would expect from a battle in Falconreach. Rob saw the Dragonlord pass the corner before leaping into the air, wings sprouting from his back as he went and he flew shoulder first into the giant turducken standing in front of him. The man had flaming red, long hair done up in a strange, kind of spiky hairdo… He was well built and his face was quite badly scared with azure eyes shining out of it. His armor was red and white and he carried a simply massive two handed sword with a very stylized handle and hilt in the form of an eagle. The Turduckens body swayed to the side, but did not topple over as the man clearly had hoped. The bird turned and looked down on the newly appeared man with something not far from malice in its sunglass covered eyes… How intelligent were they? “Go help The Odor. I will deal with this one.” The new arrival said and Rob did not question it. He turned to the writhing pile as he saw a pair of dragons, one black and one white join the Dragonlord… Two dragons? The day was full of surprises. He heard the clamors of battle start behind him as he leapt into the pile of lesser enemies hoping to reach his ally. Jinde heard the Soulweaver head off to help The Odor. Now he just had to deal with the broiler here. It steadied itself after his initial tackle and came at him once more. For a minute he pondered dodging but that wouldn’t work indefinitely… He readied a low defensive stance, with his blade over his shoulder and ran towards it. As they were mere inches from each other he bent his knees and turned his shoulder to his foe. When they collided he dug the spikes on the tip of his boots in to the ground and as the mountain of flesh piled in over him he rose to his full length, lifting the bird over his shoulder, cutting its chest with the sharp shoulderguard and dumping it head first on behind him. Sadly as the bird fell over him its long trenchcoat slapped his face, blinding him with a layer of grease. He heard the bird moving behind him and spun back with his sword but it hit something solid that shoved it away, making him stagger away. He stabbed his sword into the ground and tried wiping the layer of fat out of his eyes with his hands. He heard the turducken getting up and starting to move towards him. He grabbed his sword with one hand, the other manically trying to get the last of the fat out of his eyes as he ripped the sword up. He opened his eyes, seeing the bird so close he could reach out and touch it. It had its bone club ready to head for his face when one black and one white form crashed into the giant poultry fiends’ side making it stagger to the side, allowing him to dodge the incoming club and land a good sword strike in the birds side. The two dragons drew back to a safer distance as the bird flailed around, screeching in pain. The sword wound was a couple of inches above the wound the soulweaver had previously caused, making more stuffing drip out. He parried an incoming bone club swing with the side of his sword before he raised the blade and let mana burn through him. The sword turned red hot in his hand and a massive wave of fire erupted out from his weapon, scorching the birds skin while the fat covering its body started burning with a slick flame, producing a massive amount of black smoke. He coughed and tossed himself out of the way as the burning bird rushed past him. Rob leaped into the giant pile of poultry as he heard the new hero joining the battle with the bird. Rob hurled a turducken out of the pile, hearing it land with a satisfyingly wet thud behind him. He stabbed another foe, eviscerating it from the neck to the bottom, before tearing the duck body out of the turkey. He spotted something similar to bone deeper down in the pile and he immediately bolted his hand down, trying to grab it but a bird leapt at his hand, biting down on the gauntlet and pulling it towards itself. He stabbed out with the other soulclaw, cutting the head right off. Argh… He wished he could banish the entire pile but he needed to get The Odor out first. He pulled out a katana and sliced up two birds before it faded. One of the turducken jumped at him but he leaped into the air, cutting through it before he landed on the other side of the pile before the bird fell dead to the ground. He kept punching his way inwards but it didn’t seem to yield anything… He heard a loud shriek from over where the Dragonlord was fighting. The bird flailed around as the two dragons flew away from it and the man parried a blow and raised his blade into the air, unleashing a torrent of flame which set the giant bird ablaze. It once more cried, charging madly forward, the Dragonlord dodging to the side as it passed. As he rose once more he lashed out with his sword, severing one of the birds legs, making it topple over before he raised the sword into the air and beheaded it with a powerful swing. When he looked back to the pile he saw a clawed bone gauntlet right before it was dragged back in. He thrust out his hand and launched a spirit chain after the gauntlet. The Odor was losing consciousness as his head once more bounced against the pavement. He had managed to drain some Turducken of their life but he was now more or less completely pinned down with his armors integrity being the only thing keeping him alive… He still clasped his spear in his hand. If he would die he would die as a Warmonger. Weapon in hand… Even if he couldn’t fight them with it… He felt a turducken release his leg slightly so he kicked out, feeling a bird chest collapse under his boot. As he tried to kick again another plump body pushed its way down and went to work on his knees. His head once again bounced against the ground as a bird brought a boneclub into his helmeted head. He felt his offhand regain most of its movement as the birds moved away from it and he lashed out against a soft, fatty form still weighing it down. His arm was mostly free so he pulled the arm deeper into the pile grabbing the bird hammering his helmet by the throat, before crushing its esophagus. Before he moved again, he spotted a blue, glowing object rushed through the pile. It reminded him of… He reached out and grabbed the rushing chain, feeling his shoulder almost leave its socket as he was yanked through the pile. Jinde stared as the Necromancer was launched out of the pile of Turducken, holding onto an ethereal chain which had a turducken impaled ahead of him. He saw him launched a couple of meters into the air before the chain seemed to fade from existence. As the necromancer fell the soul weaver raised his hands after which bolts of light rained down upon the pile, searing the bodies of many turducken. The Dragonlord raised his sword and unleashed a torrent of electrical bolts to join the attack. Many turducken died and the remaining birds fell back. The Odor hit the ground. Hard. What little air he had managed to inhale during his short time as airborne was knocked straight out of his lungs. As he heard loud sounds of battle he let himself remain on the ground and just breath in the sweet Falconreach air. His lungs ached from the blow in his back while the rest of his body hurt from his struggle… He heard steps closing in and then a weight landed on his chest. Rob and Jinde looked as the Turducken fled the field for a second before they headed over to The Odor. Malus flew up in front of them and landed on the mans chest where he started eating bits of stuffing and turducken meat that stuck to The Odors amour. “Hi Malus…” The Odor groaned from under the dragon. “I presume you are Malus Dragonlord, The Odor?” Jinde asked. “… Yes… What has he done?” Malus shot The Odor an angry glare and started licking bits of turducken from his chestplate. “Oh he has nothing wrong at all. I must say he is one of the bravest dragons I have ever met.” The Odor looked down on Malus where he was now picking a piece of turkey skin out of one of the armors bendable joints. “How come you never show that character trait with me?” he muttered. Malus looked offended and crawled off him, his treat in his jaw. “So… You know me but I don’t know you. Feel like correcting this knowledge gap?” The Odor asked and looked at the dragonlord. Jinde smiled and reached down to grab The Odors hand. “My names Jinde…” He said as he helped The Odor to his feet. “… and the one with the bad table manners is Vikalus.” He said and looked over to the white Dragon who now laying next to Malus, devouring a massive Turkey leg. “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Jinde.” The Odor said as he brushed of the last bits of Turducken from his armor. They then stood there for a second… It was sort of awkward… They had fought for their lives together and now when it was over… Was there anything to talk about? At all? The Odor considered just leaving like had done in other off putting situations but realized, like he had before that his new role as clan leader didn’t allow for such rudeness. The silence was broken by a loud explosion in the distance. “… It seems our friends got a hold of the catapults at last…” The Odor said. “… Should speed things up.” Jinde said. “We should probably fall back and start covering them.” Rob continued. The Odor called his dragon over and, along with his brothers in arms started walking back towards the war camp and he couldn’t help but wonder if he would met them again. Post-War Wrap Up The Odor stepped out of the inn. He had changed from his Warmonger outfit to his mage robes. They were a little bit stiff do to being stuffed inside his bag for so long. He leaned his spiked staff against his shoulder and looked over the city. The guardians and Warmongers were gathering up the slightly bashed up Turducken bodies towards were Oishii had set up the table. Malus crawled after him. “Can we eat yet? Can we eat yet? Can we eat yet?” The lizard had been repeating it since he headed off the battlefield. “Just let me find Noel. I am haven’t seen him all war and I get worried.” He said as he started sauntering down the street, looking for his friend. Noel spotted Odor before he saw him. His friend was wearing his grey mage robe and a worn grey cape… He rarely wore that outfit outside of his house. He thought about hiding for a second before standing straight and calling him. “ODOR!!! WARMASTER!!!” He cried out. The green haired mans head looked over to him and he wandered over, followed closely by Malus. Noel dug around in his pocket until he found a pair of not to crushed bits of Dragonchew. He tossed one to Flora who lazily crawled over to it before she yawned and rolled into a ball in the setting sun. As The Odor heard the call he went up to his friend, with Malus jumping into the air and flying over to the boy before him. Noel kneeled and fed the dragon something. Knowing him it was some sort of candy. “Where have you been hiding this time around?” The Odor asked. Noel rose to his feet as Malus rolled to his back next to Flora and studied the sky. Noel scrapped he’s feet and scratched his cheek. “Eh… Well… You see… It was like this… I sort of… Kinda… Overslept… and missed the first couple of hours of fighting…” The Odor couldn’t believe his ears. When Noel had been late to the meeting this morning he had presumed it had been since he was already fighting. NOT THAT HE MISSED THE WAR! He was just about ready to explode when he realized Noel was still speaking. “… So I found this sweet firing spot up on the inn where I could see four street lines and just stood there and shot them down as they were coming.” “How many did you end up killing?” “Well… I stopped counting after 6000 something.” 6000? That was impressive numbers... The boy was insane… But it was good he was accepting his flair for ranged warfare. Before he had always stuck to him and wasted abilities. “Well… I guess… I guess I can make an exception in the spirit of the holiday and just see the good sides of this… Well done Noel.” He could see his friend swelling with pride at the praise. Noel couldn’t believe his luck… Not only wasn’t Odor angry but he was pleased. He felt like hugging him… but that would probably be inappropriate. “Thank you Warmaster!” He said and broke into a smile. “… Dude you are the only one I let call me Odor so make use of it.” Odor said with an eye roll. Noel felt his cheeks burn (being very happy for his hood covering them) as he cocked his head slightly. “Thank you Odor.” The Odor blinked twice. Was he… Blushing? “… So… A good spot on the inn you say?” he said in an attempt at a casual tone. “Eh… Yeah… I guess should go talk to Guardian Kain about it?” The Odor looked around. All around the heroes and guardians were walking around, talking, eating and laughing. “Eh… It can wait till tomorrow. Lets see if we can’t find Muh and have a meal.” He said and put his hand on Noels shoulder. He started walking, looking through the crowd, searching for their fellow master. As they walked down the street he saw heroes and warriors he knew. Among them was Jinde, who was talking and laughing with some guardians and Rob who was eating with some people he presumed were Celestial Guardians. He pondered going over to talk to them but he didn’t quite feel like disrupting their time with their friends. As they walked he came to realize why he hadn’t gone to talk to Kain right away. This was what he had missed at the start of the war. The Victory. Before he had been frozen he had been stuck in a single elongated battle with Wargoth and then he had awoken to a world changed, where he had no idea who he could trust. But now? There were no direct threats to him or the world. Sure the Rose was still an ever present threat but there was nothing he could do about it today or tonight. So why not just celebrate their victory and rest for future engagements? He spotted Muh and walked over with Noel a step behind. Tomorrow he would stand against the Rose. Tomorrow he would fight all who sought to bring ruin to his world but tonight he would enjoy himself among friends.

Legendium -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/18/2012 11:47:38)
So Thankstaking had come again. Most of town had prepared something to eat, and Iam Leggenot was no exception. He stood in the kitchen of his small house, stirring a turkey stew. Normally it was his tradition to make Turducken, but due to last year's events, he decided plain turkey stew would do nicely. He hoped to goodness that nothing bad would happen this year. Mogloween had been bad enough, with half the group turned into cats. Something crashed outside, causing Iam to jump and spill stew all over him. "Darn it!" he said, throwing the drenched apron off and looking out the window. What he saw made him groan. Another army of food was attacking Falconreach. But this was no regular army. It was composed of only Turducken. Iam's eyes grew wide. Really? He thought to himself. They couldn't even have the decency to add a few Cranbatties, or Chocolat Moose? Only Turducken? Iam considered simply staying home this time round, out of sheer laziness. But it was his duty to kick some greasy Turducken butt. He quickly slipped into his amulet master robes, grabbed his staff and ran out of the door, right into a Turducken. Both of them yelled, the Turducken in surprise, Iam yelling his battle cry. "Cry Thunda!" He yelled while throwing one of his many amulets hanging on his belt. In mid air it morphed into a lion, which started ripping the Turducken apart. Iam sensed something behind behind him, and thrust his amulet staff at it without looking. The sharpened tip speared the Turducken like a spit. Iam yanked it out and ran for Serenity's Inn. Almost all the heroes were positioned there. Iam gave a brief hello to most of the warmongers, then ran into the horde of enemies, throwing amulets at point blank, leaving a random mass of destruction in his wake. Revised Famous Speeches The Turduckenburg Adress: Four score and seven days ago Voltabolt brought forth on this continent, a new army, conceived in gravy, and dedicated to the destruction of all warmongers created equal. Now we are engaged in a great Thankstaking War, testing whether we protectors of Lore, or any other group so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure the stuns of the Turducken. We are met on a great battle-feast of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who ate too much, that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should continue in the footsteps of those too full. But, in a larger sense, we can not spill gravy on this mound of food. The brave men, sane and xane, who struggled to destroy these monstrosities here, have fought so that these monsters will not rise again. Lore will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what the warmongers did here. It is for us the not-yet-bored, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from the rage created by the falling WPM, we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these fallen heroes shall not have stopped in vain -- that we warmongers, under Zeuster, shall have a new burst of strength and speed -- and that this war, of the heroes, by the heroes, for the heroes, shall not be lost to mere birds. BATTLE ON!!

deathlord45 -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/19/2012 18:15:11)
Walking down his street a Death Knight stopped and observed the damage. "What a waste of perfectly good food" says Deathlord kicking a dead turducken aside. Now where is he. he thought Should I risk a yell? Yeah I'll risk it. "HEY MIKE WHERE ARE YOU!" he yells. The rumble in the ground announces the their coming. He grabs his scythe and turns to the direction of the rumble. As he turns he sees another Death Knight running towards him followed by a few thousand turducken. As he sees the other Death Knight he thinks Well there is mike to bad he brought company. As he gets into his battle stance he notices mike turn around and does the same. A few minutes later Deathlord and mike are standing on top a very large mound of dead turducken laughing. "So this is all the turduckens you could find?" Deathlord said laughingly "Yeah unfortunately. I wanted a few more." mike responded jokingly "Lets head back to base an report to the General. If they start using the catapults there won't be much left after the war and there aren't enough funds to rebuild properly." said Deathlord "Lead the way brother." mike says while thinks about what happened to the others Back at the base Deathlord and mike reported to the General "We'll have these turducken routed by the end of the week." said mike boastfully "This won't take long." "Damage in the Southern District has been minimal." reported Deathlord "Damage in the Western District is high and the Eastern needs reinforcements." "Thank you for the report gentlemen." says the General "Well send those reinforcements to the Eastern District. Now go get some rest." mike and Deathlord left the General's office. When mike says he has something to go do and he'll meet up with Deathlord after a while. As he headed to the mess-hall Deathlord wondered what mike rushed of to go do. "Oh well not my concern." He says to himself In the mess-hall he gets his usual meal which is muffins and potions. He sits down at the Warmonger table and says hello to his friends and talks about the conditions of the battle and what everyone encountered on their patrol. "Everything was quite in the Northern district." said Matt between bits of pie. "Yeah if you call quite a couple of very large turducken and more food monsters quite." grouched Micheal "The entire Northern district is crawling with a whole bunch of new food monsters." Deathlord thought and said "More monsters well at least it give more variety to this war I'm getting tired of just turducken. Did you tell the General about this?" Matt and Micheal were new recruits a mage and a warrior respectively good fighters and good men but still a little wet behind the ears. "Yeah he said that he'll send a squad up to the Northern district after you had returned and rested. Probably meaning that he'll want you to lead it." responded Matt "So where is mike?" So Deathlord told them that mike had gone off to do something and that he'd meet up with them in a bit. Micheal and Matt nodded "Well he has a good head on his shoulders so he can't get into trouble." said Micheal. Then the explosions began. Micheal, Matt and Deathlord ran outside with Deathlord in the lead. Where they came upon mike and a few soldiers fighting a strange creature that looked like a cross between a turducken and a spider. "Micheal lets go. Matt I want you blasting that thing with your strongest spells." ordered Deathlord. Matt responded by charging up and releasing blast at the beast. Running up to the beast Deathlord started shouting orders at the men "Grabs it's legs and hold it in place!" As the got into position and jumped on it's legs Matt sent an energy blast straight at it. The beast roared in pain but was otherwise uninjured throwing the soldiers on it's legs off and focusing on Matt the beast charged. "We need to stop that thing. Micheal, mike take out it's legs." ordered Deathlord "What are you going to do?" queried Micheal "I'm going to distract it. Now move!" responded Deathlord. Moving quickly Micheal and mike positioned themselves behind the beast as Deathlord charge right in front of it and started taunting it "Your mother was a wood pecker and your father was a jumping spider!" That got the desired effect the beast focused on Deathlord just as Micheal and mike toke out it's legs. Drawing his sword Deathlord stab the creature yet it refused to die which is when he had Matt hit his which was still in the beast with another blast of energy. Matt followed his orders through and the beast died. A couple days later reports came in of the turducken and food monsters had been routed and the war won. "What's next?" asked Matt curious about what would come next in what would be a long life of warmongering. "Now we repair and prepare for Frostval." responded Deathlord "What happens for Frostval?" queried Micheal "Who knows maybe another war for all we know." answered mike.

Faerdin -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/20/2012 3:08:05)
Rune Knight, Book Three I. Twenty-Five Years II. Why Do You Fight, Rune Knight? III. Nightingale IV. Twenty-Five Eternities V. Whispers in the Night VI. Why Do You Fight, Doom Knight? Twenty-Five Years He Who Stands Between Crossover Muted hues of crimson and violet intermingled to stain the heavens as day became dusk in the world of Lore. Creatures across the land had grown weary of their arduous struggles for survival and would soon lie down to rest. The cacophony of clangs from a distant battle would be gradually replaced by the chirping of crickets, and it was only a matter of time before all would still in the tranquil veil of night. Despite the threat of conflict in the morning, all seemed to be at peace. All seemed to be right in the world, and it was under this false assumption that the world so readily prepared for slumber. But a lone wagon rumbled along in the dying light of the sun, determined to reach its destination: a town by the name of Falconreach. The wooden vessel creaked with every pebble and stone traversed, and Faerdin could feel it. He could feel it all, even as he had felt Lore itself tear asunder nearly five years ago. Even as he was able to feel that malevolent tide of shadows when it loomed over Lore. Even when the one whose fate he had orchestrated waded through that ocean of darkness to strike at its very core. Faerdin shuddered. The great shattering still resonated in his mind. The terrible shattering that tore cries of agony from his beloved Planes. And it was these that wrought it, Faerdin bitterly reflected as he glanced down at his hands. Once again, he scrutinized the chains that bound his hands, arms, and neck. They were cruel yet beautiful, bearing a lilac web of enchantments that caused the metal to glitter at the slightest movement. Faerdin allowed himself a small smile at the familiar sensation; the air had become suffocatingly warm and fuzzy as though a sheet of cotton had been wrapped all around him. It was a pitiful attempt to limit his magic. It seems Lore has forgotten the power we once held, Faerdin thought. A blade engraved with flower blossoms clattered against his gauntlet and forced the captive knight to lift his gaze. An officer of The Rose, who reeked of garlic and cheese and was equally appealing to the eyes, glared down at him. "Unless ya want to meet the irons again, half-elf, y'should stop fiddlin' with the chains." The only indication given by Faerdin that he had even heard was the widening of his grin. Soon enough, they will have their reminder. "Excuse me, good sir, but when is it that we will arrive at our destination?" It took a moment of head-scratching for the guard to reply. "None o' yer business. We'll get there when we get there." "Forgive me, but I think it should be my business when I am the one being transported to Falconreach." "Yeh'll find out soon enough-!" "RAAAAAAAAID!" A tremble wracked the wagon as the earth shuddered beneath it. Craning their necks and fighting to maintain their footing, guard and captive alike peered out the opening in the wagon to see what could possibly be amiss. At that very moment, a stampede of strange creatures trampled across their view. They were a sickening fusion of several birds, resulting in a mangled, avian mass with ivory talons and piercing eyes. Chasing after them was a cluster of warriors, each of them clutching breakfast foods and whatever weapon they could find. Faerdin blinked. He tapped the shoulder of the guard, nearly making him leap out of his skin. "Is this it?" "I- er..." "You claim credit for my efforts in cleansing dissonance from the land, and now this? What am I, your bloodhound?" Utterly aghast at how suddenly he was thrust into questioning and violence, the guard shrieked, "Enough outta you! Get out there and do something!" With a sigh, Faerdin complied. Soon... Begin Faerdin's story here.

bulbaman1 -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/22/2012 0:22:03)
I was heading into FalconReach after walking with my Dragon, Skyblade, when we came across some wreckage of a large machine. It looks like it was scrapped pretty badly, but it might be fixable. If nobody claims it till tomorrow I might try to use it myself. We continued on through the town and into the Falcon's Nest Grove where I sat down on the grass. Skyblade crawled onto my lap and closed his eyes for a nap. Leaning up against a tree, I pulled out my Pyronomicon and continued to read about the spells contained within its pages. I read for about ten minutes until Skyblade's eyes opened and his head rose up to look at a bush. I asked him what was that matter, but before he could answer and burst of poultry came flying out of the bush and ran across the grove. I thought how to looked half cooked, when two heroes came charging after it. It evaded their swinging weapons and blasting spells and landed right in front of me and Skyblade. So I thew my book at it, knocking it down and out. While Skyblade poked at it with his claw, I asked the heroes what that was all about. They explained that an army of food was attacking FalconReach. Again. I grabed my book from the ground, thanked the heroes, and floated off with Skyblade tailing behind. I rounded a corner and went through the gates.....only to be chased back in by a large group of Turducken. I surrounded Skyblade and myself in a Time Orb to hold off the barrage of attacks from the sea of Hy-birds coming at us. After the imminent danger passed us in a flock of fury, we turned our attention to taking down the infesting monsters. Skyblade took to the rooftops to take down any that had crawled up while I stayed on the ground to fight the others. The Guardians and groups of heroes were trying to desperately get the situation under control, but the flock was over running the entire town. I focused on a single group that had taken up the space in front of the Potion shops as their own personal nesting grounds. I blasted on with a Chrono Orb, making it dizzy and stumble over itself, but that attracted the attention of the rest of them. One came charging at me and knocked me down on to my back. I scrambled to my feet and took a swing at it with my Antipode Greatstave, but I missed and the turducken jumped backwards. I grabbed my Pyronomicon and sent a blast of fire spewing out of it towards the group. They scattered, but one was K.O'd by the tumble it took in to a tree. After that, the others all rushed at me with their turkey legs swinging. The crowd managed to beat me down, making me helpless against the barrage of attacks. Dazed, I managed to see a yellow figure coming down from the trees. It was Skyblade. With a heave, he sent an elemental ball flying down near my attackers. Frightened by the unexpected attack, they all retreated behind buildings and whatever other cover they could find. I was still a bit dizzy from the brutal attack, but I got up and readied myself for the oncoming fight. The turducken re-emerged, but we were ready. Skyblade sent his breath attack heading right for them while I unleashed an extreme multi-attack on each of the group's members. When the dust settled, the turduckens all laid defeated aroud us. Skyblade and I exchanged the usual smiles and hugs until we realized were were still surrounded by other members of the attacking army. We readied ourselves and sprung back into action. The war wasn't over yet.

Lady_Dragonrider -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/22/2012 16:31:48)
Pwned The smell of greasy fowl and gravy was all most too much. The sight of endless turduckens would have made the heart of most fighters feel heavy. As the endless waves broke out into the streets, Alize gripped her weapon, prepared to fight the waves of fat birds. The blade’s rhythmic glow was a comfort. She heard the faint sound of Rolith drewing his own weapon, a massive mace-like metal weapon. Cold Water flew over head, in almost lazy patterns. Out of all of them, he seemed the least excited. The Green Pwntern by Alize’s side shook its mane and snorted, it too felt the excitement that came with a war. “Now!” Rolith’s command sent the four springing into action. Pounded by the power of Rolith’s mace, and hit hard by the quick strikes of a Riftwalker, the monstrous food had no hope, or so the fighters thought. The battle was in their favor when they first saw one of them. The king of all birds, the greasiest, heaviest, largest turducken they had ever seen. With each movement, the ground quivered. Pebbles danced as he came forward. Alize engaged it first, striking quickly, darting between blue and orange portals. The distraction gave Rolith just enough time to hit it. The bird turned with sudden speed and raised one gravy-smothered leg, bringing it down on Alize. Stunned, Alize stumbled back. Cold water flew in at that moment and blasted it with ice. The turducken turned to face the dragon, but was hit hard again by Rolith’s mace. Rolith backed away, just in time. The truduken’s first attack missed. However, Rolith slipped on gravy, and the second leg hit. Rolith was dazed, for the moment. Cold Water growled, it was just him and Pwntern left. Swooping in close, Cold Water faked an attack. The truduken fell for it, and focused on Cold Water, turning his back on the small green pony. Hoping to be revive Alize, Cold Water suddenly turned away from the battle, and lightly touched Alize, hoping she would wake. The turducken followed the dragon’s flight, and prepared to knock him out of the sky. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his back. Green blurred his vision. He took one more step, and then fell. Green Pwnter stood there, horn dripping with juices from the bird. The pony blinked, like it was surprised the bird fell, and then stood next to Alize and Rolith as they stood up. Alize looked once at the short thing, glade for once that it was with them. The pony did not notice, its head was turned towards the next wave. Breaking into a run, Rolith and the green pet met the new wave, Alize and Cold Water in there wake. The war was far from over.

Jaden -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/27/2012 20:44:58)
Ah! The life of a warmonger! Turduckens, weird mixes between Turkeys, Ducks, and Chickens were charging the warmonger's defensive line, near Lim's shop. While they looked delicious, Jaden knew them as vile, savage, and annoyingly persistent creatures. "Well, I can't say that I'm happy to see these things again." He sighed. "At least no one can complain about food shortages, for a while anyways." Replied Ash Dragonblade. "I can work with that, I love the taste of Turduckens!" stated Emeraldus, Jaden's dragon partner. Jaden chuckled, hefting his sword "Well, I'm glad you'll be enjoying yourself." The beasts were getting closer. Raising his voice, he called "Fellow defenders! I present our enemy, dinner!" The rest of the warmongers shouted in response. "Let's take them down!" Shouted Ash. With blood chilling shouts, the proud defenders of Falconreach charged into the oncoming Turducken. Chaos ensued, with squawks and screeches as Turduckens were cut down left and right. Swords and maces hacked and crushed, blasts of magic filled the air, and arrows whizzed by with deadly whistling sounds. Jaden whirled through the enemy forces, employing his mix of warrior and rogue combat styles. He wouldn't meet attacks with brute force, but instead dodge or deflect in another direction with his blade, and, when the enemy's defenses were open, he would finish them with a powerful, focused strike. Emeraldus fought with tooth, claw and dragon's breath. They smashed through the enemy, using the skills they had learned from The Old Man of the Mountain. Ash covered their 6, using a similar fighting style to Jaden, accompanied by blasts of light magic from his sword, The Blinding Light of Destiny. Together, the three of them forged a path through the Turducken. "Ha! These guys are cake!" Ash yelled. "Actually, they're Tur"- began Jaden, but was unable to finish his sentence due to a larger than average Turducken smashing into him. "Jaden!" yelled Emeraldus, and, gathering strength that betrayed his size, he smashed into the behemoth freak. The Large, delicious avian staggered backward, straight into Ash's blade. "Thanks." gasped Jaden, getting to his feet. "Don't thank us yet, there are more of them" Said Ash, pulling his blade out of the Turducken. More of the gigantic Turkduckens were charging through their smaller counterparts. "Well, they won't take me by surprise again!" Jaden yelled, launching himself at the nearest one. "Hasn't changed a bit." Remarked Ash. "Yeah, he's calmer than he used to be, but he never could resist a fight!" agreed Emeraldus. "Well, let's help him, even he can't take on that amount of enemies!" Said Ash. They jumped back into the mayhem, and pretty soon, after a fair amount of shouting, hacking, slashing, and burning, all that was left of the Turducken strike force was a huge pile of edible goodness. "Victory!" Shouted a defender. "They won't be coming back after that!" Shouted another. Cheers rose up in the ranks, defenders were picking up Turducken legs and tearing large chunks out of them. Jaden was about to join the celebrating, when he felt a slight rumbling under his feet. "Form up!" He yelled, his voice ringing with command. "We're not done here!" There were many sounds of falling Turducken legs, as the defenders hustled to form ranks. From around the corner, more Turduckens emerged. But they weren't alone, Slimed potatoes, Turkeylime Pies, Chocolate Moose, Cranbattys, Carrotsteins, and Death by Chocolates were making their way towards the center of town. "Warriors in front, Archers and Mages behind! Rogues, circle around and attack their flanks!" Jaden yelled. "Archers, Mages, on my mark.......FIRE" Projectiles and magic, decimated the forerunners of the enemy. "Looks like we'll have to wait to eat." Said Ash, as the enemy fell upon them. Fin.

AlkaNephrite -> RE: =DF= Rise of the Turducken War Stories and Poetry (11/30/2012 7:47:30)
Heroes. We are called the heroes. We are heroes, aren't we? We have fought wars, we have faced impossible odds and most importantly, we have conquered. Now, another war is on the move, taking stage in a town many have called a sanctuary. Falconreach is a sanctuary, a refuge for those in harm's way, and a new war threatens to change that. But will we let this war change that? Falconreach has been the center stage of one war too many. Scarred, it has fallen time and again to those we could not surpass. But will we ever let that happen again? We have fought more foes, we have gained more experience and we have grown stronger, even in defeat. Our numbers are dwindling, we have lost many in battle but we are still standing. Standing, fighting, all for the safety of our town, day after grueling day. Will we ever give in? No. Because if we can't beat them, no one will. We are heroes, we are fighters and most importantly, we are the warmongers. And as long as one of us still stands, we will never fall again. And, if by chance, these monsters succeed, which they won't, they can be dang well sure we'll be back to avenge our town. Reclaim it. Repair it. Make it stronger than ever. Because Falconreach is our home, and our territory and no one will ever take it from us. Not now, not ever. ---Story Time!--- The monsters were falling. Heroes were charging down the streets, killing off monsters left and right and the monsters could do nothing to stop them. Fire flashed, bombs exploded, blades clashed. "As they always do." thought Ree as she finished off the last turducken loitering by the pet shop. Wave cleared. There was a healing pad set up near by and she took a deep breath as she drew near it, feeling energy fill her down to her very soul. Practically at least. The continued overuse of healing pads also made her eyes burn and her limbs feel weary but that was nothing compared to the satisfaction of seeing those wretched monsters die at her hands. "I swear, if they have these turduckens at the next feast, they might as well give my invite to a goldfish. I am NOT eating these anymore. I am getting sick and tired of fighting my food before I get to eat it." she grumbled under her breath. She could already feel Draco laughing through their bond and scowled. The dragon himself was eating the remains of a turkeylime pie, a chocolate moose and a Death-By-Chocolate. He took one look at her, gave a sloppy grin then flew forward to nuzzle her hand. Her scowl softened and she stroked the backs of his ears. "Think about it this way." he chimed, talking through at least ten mouthfuls worth of dessert. "We're not getting fat this year. Warring is the best exercise, I always say. And since we're fighting lunch, we're literally burning down calories over here! It's a win-win!" "Oh shut up." but she was already smiling by the time she stood up and began to hunt for a new wave. Oh. There was one right behind the pet shop and it looked like no one was fighting it off yet. Perfect. Jumping the fence, she unsheathed her daggers and readied herself for combat. Wait. WHAT?! She was wrong. The wave of turduckens and other food monsters were already getting cleared. By Death-By-Chocolates, chocolate mooses, turkeylime pies and jella-TONS. What's going on?! Draco flew to join her side. "Hey...is that a kid in pajamas fighting over there?" She stared. There was another human out there, maybe a few feet smaller than she, fighting off monsters with a glowing kris knife. Wait...that wasn't a kris knife. It was wavy by the hilt, sure, but it straightened out at the end. And the girl, by the way, was fighting in what looked like yellow bunny pajamas, a green bathrobe, and a night cap. While barefoot. The only addition to this was a pair of square, lilac tinted glasses with no frames. "What the..." she said slowly. Then another detail caught her focus. "Is...Is that another baby dragon fighting over there?" Now it was Draco's turn to stare. There was another baby dragon, with scales the color of milk when mixed with a teaspoon of coffee and chocolate brown wings and red eyes. Even as he watched, the dragon released a spurt of fire, finishing off an unbread zombie. Then it clicked. The two knew these two fighters. It all made sense now. The girl...she was the proprietress of the Falconreach Candy Shop. The dragon was her business partner, and the dragon she was bonded to. Even the large building next to the outhouse being completely encased in a gigantic block of translucent strawberry candy, the two recognized it as strawberry from the smell, made sense now...though for some reason, Ree took one look at it and shuddered. "Fudgebunnies..." she mumbled under her breath before closing her eyes. She vanished into thin air. Stealth, Draco noted. Draco, however, did not react like this, instead, opting to fly to the two and assist them in combat. "Hiyas Rosal! Ark!" The dragon, who was Ark, waved back before tossing a half dead turducken in his direction. Draco responded by the clawing the thing in two. Ark grinned. "Heyas Draco!" "'Sup Draco?" the girl, Rosal, greeted back while finishing off a carrotstein and completing the wave. For now. They always came back. "And hello to you too Ree!" she called out, smirking slightly. The shadows behind the petshop shifted slightly. The two dragons exchanged knowing glances (and silent fistbumps). "Don't think I can't sense you over there." she admonished. "I AM a rogue. I can sense methods of stealth just as well as you can." Ree gave an audible sigh as she reappeared. She was so sure she had finally perfected that... Then, without so much as a warning, she was tackled by Rosal. Or glomped. Whatever. "I missed you! Why didn't you go back to work?" Rosal demanded, still in full hug-mode. "I was kinda busy with the Popsprocket thing." she replied, forcing herself to a sitting position. She could see another wave watching them from the shadows of buildings. Rosal, fortunately, could sense them as well, preparing her dagger as she prepared for combat. "Nice kris, by the way. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it. Suits you." she complimented as she unsheathed her own daggers, daggers blazing with a shackled blaze and readied herself for the monsters' charge. "It's a KALIS knife!" Rosal snapped back, immediately looking annoyed. "It straightens out at the end, ya see? There's a difference." She waved the blade around, as if in emphasis, when the blade glowed white hot with energy. There was a tangible shift in the air. The dessert monsters turned against their fellow monsters and attacked. Then, giving Ree a meaningful look, Rosal charged. As if in response to Ree and Draco's looks of confusion, Ark shouted as he clawed at an Unbread zombie, a Death-By-Chocolate breathing fire at the said zombie while he did so. "She's manipulating their sugar content! Don't question it and charge!" And they did. The two humans started talking after the sixteenth wave. Their dragons didn't. Those two were busy eating the leftovers of the slain monsters. "You look...taller." Ree commented as they engaged a trio of turduckens. Rosal practically swelled with pride. "Really?!" she near squealed. "FINALLY!" she whooped, stabbing the ground with her dagger and making hot chocolate explode at the trio's faces, and coating the dragon's faces with chocolate in the process. 'Well it was true, Ree thought as she threw three throwing knives at the three, finishing off one while leaving the two near death but still alive. Before, the kid had only reached her shoulder. 'Now, the top of her head kinda reaches up to my cheek...wait a second...' "Hey Ros? How old would you say I am? The same age before the big freeze or five years older?" "That's easy!" she replied, now finishing off the second turducken and letting the dragons take care of the third. "If you're counting the chronological age, you're technically five years older but biologically, I'd still stick you as the same as before. Personally, I'd stick with your biological age." "Really?" Ree asked, throwing daggers at another set of turduckens, a set that had killed off two of their friendly dessert monsters. One dead, two still alive. "I mean...I sorta feel that-ACK!" She was stuck in place. One look and she could see that Rosal was in the same position. The two surviving turduckens looked smug. At least until the two dragons charged at them, claws unsheathed. Even with the two defending them, however, she could feel an irrational bubble of fear in her stomach...no. This wasn't like the big freeze...Don't think about it like that... "How do they keep doing this! Seriously!" Hm. So she could still talk. Sometimes, this wasn't the case. "Do you want the explanation that's a bit long but is probably correct or the short one?" Rosal asked. So she too had retained her ability of speech. "That depends. What's in the long one?" "A brief lecture on pressure points, a quick lesson on how the placement, force and timing of blows can affect acupuncture points, the normal causes of brief paralyzation and-" "Short one?" she interrupted. Rosal looked vaguely annoyed. "Magic." "....I think I'll stick with that one." Rosal sighed. Unbeknownst to the two, Draco handed Ark a fistful of Special Dragon Chow because of this. This didn't matter though because the turduckens that attacked them had been killed by then and their stuns usually wore off when their packs were killed. Wave cleared though. "How much more are there! Seriously...How much food did Oishii cook up this year?" Ree lamented, taking her turn on the healing pad while Rosal polished the edge of her dagger with the edge of her bathrobe. Strangely enough, even with the thick layer of gravy coating it, its blade still shined. As bright as the stars that shone down on the Sandseas on that moonless night as she forged the blade...She shook her head. Now was not the time for a trip down memory lane. Through their bond, she could feel Ark agree. "'Bout three million or something waves worth." Rosal answered absently. She couldn't sense any waves hiding out and her new minions had gotten killed in the battles earlier... "And in answer to your other question...ARK! How's the percentage now?" Ark broke off from his conversation with Draco and flew upwards. Looking down from the clouds, he squinted. Then smiled. "100% done. All of them have been handled. War over." The three looked up at him in shock. "Really?" Ree asked. "Positive." "Cool." Ree. "YES!" Rosal. "Can I have the leftovers?" Obviously Draco. Stares. "...I'll take that as a yes." With that, he proceeded to chow down on the remains of all the monsters they had killed over the last...two hours. It was almost time for dawn. Rosal turned to face Ree. "Don't think that I've fired you just yet. You're still hired to get me rare ingredients when I need them. Oh, and I still remember that you owe me 200 gold for the candy bars you melted." "Seriously? I'm not fired?" Ree looked surprised. Normally, Rosal fired anyone who asked for dayoffs. Because no sir-ree will the ma'am Rosalka ever let anyone get a day-off when there was so much business to attend to. Once, she heard that the young proprietress had fired someone for catching the flu on a a particularly busy workday. Said fired employee then spent the rest of the day ranting 'Just take an instant heal pill she said. You should've at least warned me me, she said. You're FIRED, she said'. No wonder the shop only had one employee excepting Ark and Rosal. Namely me, she thought to herself. "Yeah. It's not your fault you got stuck in that ice. But this also means that you're forfeiting your next....three thousand dayoffs..." Well that sounded more like her. "By the way, I go by a different name now." "What? Did you change your name through the B.M Moglin?" Ree looked confused. Formerly Rosal shook her head. "Nah. Too expensive. I'm just using my other nickname. The Rose besmirched the good meaning of my usual nickname." she frowned as if the very thought of them was repulsive. "So I'm going by my usual war name. Only this time, on a daily basis. You know which one...the name you forgot to use today and since you forgot to use it, I will deduct a small amount from your salary." "Whoops...sorry ...heheh." Ree looked sheepish." So...Alka?" Formerly Rosal and now Alka grinned widely. "Yep. By the way, I've decided to give you another job along with your job of ingredient hunter." Ree looked wary. "What is it?: If possible, her smile grew wider. "WARMONGER OF COURSE! Which means that I'm paying you for every war you participate in after today. Fun right?" The two smiled at each other before Alka gave Ree a cheeky grin and a slap on the back. "Someone's calling you by the main road. Now go, bye and see ya later." And with that, she pushed Ree right through the fence, repaired it with magic then waved goodbye as Ree ran into the two from the MOP. Then she looked up at the sky, eyeing the swiftly changing colors of the sunrise. Ark flew down to perch on her shoulders, nuzzling her hair with his tail and she stroked his head in return. "Ending a war at dawn?" she murmured. "That is so cliche." ...To be continued....

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