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legend of smosh -> RE: Why the World is the Way it is Thanks to Revontheus (11/27/2012 20:28:34)
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Why Humans Eat Chicken Eggs
Note: In order to avoid confusion in this story; Rev is the main Revontheus and the Revons are his children
This is how we as humans started taking eggs from birds. Our ancestors found Rev selling them to some void monsters and the void monsters started eating them. A day later, mini Revons burst out of their stomachs like in the Alien movies. Which is also how those movies came to be with that residual image in our DNA for thousands of years. Our ancestors didn't see them die, so they had no idea what would happen to them.
They came upon a Revonthurkey warming his young and they decided it might be a good idea. They ambushed Revonthurkey at a cave and distracted him while the others came and stole the eggs. They used wooden spears with sharp stones attached to them to ward off Revonthurkey while keeping him trapped in a corner. Revonthurkey could do nothing, but avoid the spears as they came in closer. Soon a call was made and our ancestors ran off leaving Revonthurkey to discover what had happened.Some were injured in the fight against Revonthurkey.
Later, they feasted after cooking them sunny side up and fell asleep warm, full, and happy. They woke up the next day with sharp pains in their stomachs and reared their necks and screamed in pain as the Revons broke through their skin. Our ancestors fell to the ground dead.
Then, the Revons came out and started to lay more eggs to give to the creatures and humans. They unknowingly bought and ate the eggs and the original Rev watched in anger at what had happened. He flew across dimensions to end his children's lives. He came upon a blackened field where a vast horde of his children were waiting gnawing on bones, gambling, and general army stuff. Rev grew even more angry at the sight of it.
Millions of Revons charged at Rev, but he stood fast and swung his key once and an entire patch of Revons was missing. The Revons only grew angrier at this fact and charged with even more force as Rev calmly stared them down. The Revons encircled Rev and closed in on him, but right before their breath would even be felt on Rev's skin, they flew back halfway across the field as Rev sends out a force field. Many Revons get up wondering what is happening. but many more lie dead from the force of Rev's shield. Rev then finally lifts his key one last time and unlocks the floor beneath the Revons. They all fall down into a spiked pit in which they can't die in the spikes because of their genetics. Rev then charges up his ultimate attack and completely obliterates everything in the pit and creates a black hole where the Revons once were impaled on spikes screaming in agony. Finally, with a twist of his key Rev closes the ground and makes everything as it once was with everyone and everything that was alive before the Revons. Rev also gives birth to the chickens to stop this from happening again, but the action actions ages him into his mid-20s.
That is why we eat chicken eggs.
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