whackybeanz -> UnZardly Terror! (5/7/2013 15:41:12)
Location: Battleon » Zard hunter Shop » Other Quests » UnZardly Terror!
«You can skip this cutscene at anytime.»
«Scene: Battleon. A MoZard is in town...? From off the scene, a voice can be heard:»
Smartzard: Mozard! My triumphant entry music, if you will.
«A piano falls from the sky. Mozard begins to bash his head on the piano, playing an, uh, melodious tune, during which Smartzard enters the scene. You then enter the scene.»
«You»: Darn... spilled my Iced Tea... ever since that incident with Earl Grey I have been having the worst sort of luck with...
«You»: ...Smartzard? What are you doing off your island... undigested? And... why are you in Battleon?
Smartzard: Even as one of Lore's greatest heroes, Chosen as you are, you are confused?
Smartzard: I do not blame you for your puzzlement, «You», for even I, with my stunning intellect, am baffled by what has happened.
Smartzard: I can tell by your dialog that this mission will be just your cup of tea...
«You»: Again with the Chosen business... Why does everyone seem to know something about me that I myself do not? You'd think I could get my own intro music.
Smartzard: Some mysteries «You», can only be resolved in the fullness of time.
Smartzard: Now is not the time to worry about your concerns. It is the time to WORRY ABOUT MINE...
Smartzard: I must find a way to duck the troubles I face.
Mozard: I must note that they have played his swansong...
Mozard: It has been a symphony of destruction...
Smartzard: What my musical colleague means to say, «You», is that my island has become a battleground for warring conquerors.
«You»: Warring conquerors?
Mozard: The Czard and Smartzard's cousin Julius Caeszard.
«You»: Czard? Hmm.. I thought that he....
Smartzard: They are not all. A whole host of strange Zards have begun gathering. Some force is seeking to unseat me!
«You»: Strange Zards? Coming from you, Smartzard, THAT is very alarming indeed... And what force would that be?
Smartzard: That is precisely what I have come to YOU to find out, «You»!
Smartzard: As Lore's finest, I deduce that you are among the most eminently qualified to lead us in this donnybrook.
«You»: Uhm... thank you?
Smartzard: Of course I will reward your efforts once I have been restored to my home...
Smartzard: Mozard, my stunning exit music.
«Banging his head on the piano once again, Mozard plays a fine piece of music, to which Smartzard exits the scene, followed by Mozard and his piano.»
«You»: AND his own exit music. Hmmm... Fred?
Fred: Don't even think about it. You can haul around your own piano, «You».
«Artix enters the scene.»
Artix: Greetings and salutations, «You»!
«You»: Apparently Falerin has been giving him coaching in elocution as well as vocabulary obfuscation.
Artix: ??? What did you just say «You»?!
«You»: Nevermind Artix. This is not your area of expertise.
Artix: I beg your pardon?
«You»: No undead are involved. At least I don't think so...
Artix: Oh, I see. What is going on then?
«You»: I am off to see the Lizards.... the wonderful Lizards called Zards.
«You»: And, I am afraid, I can almost expect what I will find, but how could Dilwod be doing it given where I left him?
«You leave the scene.»
(Thought) Artix: «You» seems to be talking to themselves more often than Hans now-a-days...
«The scene fades to black.»
A whole host of strange Zards have begun taking over SmartZard's island and spilling out into Lore proper. Who or what is driving this strange activity? Finding out requires first beating them back into submission.
Zard Hunter Elite Armor!
***-If you are level 7+: You have equipped a special Zard Hunter Armor! It will disappear when you log out.
***-If you are below level 7: If you level up to at least Level 7, you can use the finest in Zard slaying armor!
Back to Town
Twilly: Un-ohs!! What's going on with all these strange zards? We need your help!!
Twilly: If you need to be healed I can help you.
Heal me please
Let me handle this!
Twilly: There you goes! All healed up!
Potion Bag - Refills potions if you have less than 5 on hand. (Guardian Only)
Robina - Click on Robina's bow if you want her to join you in battle!
Robina's Bow - Robina will now fight by your side!
Zardhunter - The Zardhunter has joined you in battle!
Artix - Artix the Paladin will help you in battle!
Zards - +0.1% BTH per Zard (Max: +20%). Only applies to normal player Ranged attacks.
Full Heal after battle #2
«After 100% of Zards were defeated...»
«When 20% of Zard forces were defeated, a new cutscene 'Sackelberry... Social?' was unlocked.»
«Scene: Plains. Dilwod is having a picnic with a baby FireZard. He holds out a fish-on-a-stick, which the Zard breathes fire on, charring it to a black crisp.»
Dilwod: Do not worry Piero, you are young, you do not yet have full control of your fire. That will come in time.
«You enter the scene.»
Dilwod: Yes, «You»?
«You»: That's it, Dilwod. Your plan has been foiled.
«The Zardhunter enters the scene.»
Zardhunter: Crikey! I see Piero has roasted our lunch to a charcoal crisp.
Zardhunter: Oh 'ello, «You». Here to join Dilwod and I in our picnic?
«You»: No! That is... er... Picnic?
Zardhunter: To celebrate young Piero here getting his flame... it's an important part of the life of a flaming type...
Dilwod: When you grow up, Piero, you might be a mighty InfernoZard, or perhaps a Helzard.
Zardhunter: Even the very rare Blazard, the only zard with not only flames but a fashion-forward dress sense.
«You»: Uh... no... I came because a bunch of strange Zards have taken over SmartZard's island, seeming led by a pair of warring zards, the Czard and Julius Caeszard.
Dilwod: I have nothing to do with that. I have my hands full with my Zardlings at present.
Zardhunter: He even had to call in help...
Dilwod: Still it does seem a bit strange that those two would be fighting that way... something must have stirred them up... You do not suppose...
Zardhunter: Only one way to find out... to the front, «You»!
«You return to the war camp.»
«When 40% of Zard forces were defeated, a new cutscene 'Emperor of Zardkind' was unlocked.»
«Scene: DinoZard Island»
Julius Caeszard: Bow before the sun and the might that is Caeszard!
Czard: Ptooie! I shall make of you a chopped Caeszard salad! I am the true emperor of the Zards.
Julius Caeszard: Nonsense. Only I, the one and only Julius Caeszard, can usher in Pax Zardana.
«You enter the scene alongside Dilwod and the Zardhunter.»
Dilwod: It looks to me like ye be ushering in nothing but war and carnage... and not even on my schedule!
Julius Caeszard: The time of Zardly oppression has come to an end... No longer shall your kind enslave us and use us as cannon fodder.
«You»: You will do it instead?
Czard: No, I will! I will put a cuppa on for you before I bring forth the scones and carnage! Caeszard... you too brew tea!
Zardhunter: Crikey, this is a bigger kettle of fish than grandma's funky trout bake at the Zard Hunter family reunion...
«You»: What has gotten into you...
Julius Caeszard: Fight now...
Czard: Talk later.
«You return to the war camp.»
«When 80% of Zard forces were defeated, a new cutscene 'Fight now... Talk later!' was unlocked.»
«Off the coast of Dinozard Island, a volcano has become active, blowing out lava every so often, smoke billowing the sky. Back on DinoZard Island...»
Smartzard: We must press on «You», for... great... justice...
«You»: We already used that reference last year, SmartZard. You are behind the times...
«You»: Besides, though I have fought back much of the army, the damage remains.
Smartzard: Damage can be rebuilt, «You». You know that. But something does not add up here. Only you can balance the equation...
???: «You», you are known as a hero of Lore and a Chosen. Why, then, are you aiding this villain...
«A Zardman wearing Guardian armor walks in.»
«You»: I must be seeing things... is that Zard wearing Guardian armor? Are you behind the warring Zards?
Zardian: I am the Zardian Newt Zardrich! The Zardian Order shall restore peace, stability, and Zardly values to the world of Lore.
«You»: The Zardian Order?
Dilwod: Oh my. So the rumors are true...
Newt Zardrich: Long before the current situation here, before the trouble with the sneevil even, Zards and humans lived in peace...
Newt Zardrich: My people, the Zardmen, rose up and joined with the human Guardians of Lore. My people come from a race of highly evolved humanoid Zards.
Newt Zardrich: We freely shared technology and sought together to erect great Guardian towers all over Lore, and not just in human realms.
«You»: That sounds amazing... and hard to believe...
Zardrich: You can see some effects of this still, but some time ago the Zards of Lore fell into decay. Towers fell. Great villainous forces rose to enslave Zardkind for their fell functions.
«You»: Boy do I know it...
Zardrich: And it appears you are now one of those forces, «You».
Zardrich: You have joined with the SmartZard against the tide of time and you travel with the blasphemous Zard-"Master" Dilwod Sackelberry.
«You»: No wait? This is a misunderstanding, in fact I think you will find Smartzard share your...
«Zardrich raises and points his blade towards you.»
Zardrich: Fight Now! Talk Later!
«You»: Has that become a motto or something?
«You return to the war camp.»
6 BATTLES Zardian: You have defeated us this time... but the Zardians shall never rest until Lore is safe from those who would abuse its most humble citizens.
Optional Full Heal after battles #2, #4 and #6
3 BATTLES (Non-random)
Level 0-26: Caeszard (7), The Czard (7), Zardian (7)
Level 27-46: Caeszard (27), The Czard (27), Zardian (27)
Level 47-66: Caeszard (47), The Czard (47), Zardian (47)
Level 67-86: Caeszard (67), The Czard (67), Zardian (67)
Level 87-106: Caeszard (87), The Czard (87), Zardian (87)
Level 107-126: Caeszard (107), The Czard (107), Zardian (107)
Level 127-136: Caeszard (127), The Czard (127), Zardian (127)
Level 137-146: Caeszard (137), The Czard (137), Zardian (137)
Level 147+: Caeszard (147), The Czard (147), Zardian (147)
Full Heal after each battle
«You»: Wait... there has been...
«A Zardman mage teleports into the scene.»
Xardok: I have prepared the teleport, Master Zardrich.
«You»: WOULD YOU JUST WAIT?!
«Zardrich's and Xardok's eyes open wide for a moment from your shout.»
Zardhunter: Crikey, you could put an eardrum out, «You».
«You»: As I was saying: It seems to me there has been a misunderstanding.
«You»: The Smartzard has always been concerned with Zard welfare, even if we have been fighting... and even Dilwod has been taking faithful care of his young Zardlings.
«You»: If the Zardians want to re-assume their rightful place, as Guardians of Lore, there are few would think that a bad thing...
Zardian: Re... really?
«You»: Yes really, and if you were not all "fight now, talk later," you would have known that already!
«You»: Instead you have caused a ton of reciprocal damage in your misguided fight.
Dilwod: Sounds perfectly like a Guardian to me...
«You»: Well, it's not supposed to be that way...
Zardian: I can see, «You», that we judged you too hastily... perhaps we can coexist peaceably after all.
«The scene fades before switching to your conversation with Zardian, Smartzard, Caeszard and Mozard, along with his piano.»
«You»: Is... this really necessary?
Smartzard: Of course it is necessary.
Smartzard: It is only right that the Chosen of Lore be recognized and lauded of its efforts. This celebration honors and recognizes your great and continued contributions to Lore.
Mozard: I have written an aria for the occasion. The foods are here. We are only awaiting Czard who has gone to fetch some final supplies.
«Czard returns with a cup of tea balancing on his nose.»
Czard: Sorry I am late, I had to procure tea for my scones. Falerin recommended the Russian Caravan. With its smoky Lapsang Souchong-like flavor it is sure to tickle your taste buds!
«You»: You know... I think I will sit tea out. I have not had much luck with that particular beverage.
Zardhunter: Crikey, «You»! It's just a little cuppa, what harm can it do?
«The cup of tea jumps off Czard's nose and grows in size. It's almost as large as Czard now!»
Czard: I think perhaps I grabbed the wrong tea... I do not think Russian Caravan is supposed to do that.
Skip Teatime! - Opens war chest directly and gives you options to get the rewards or skip it
1 BATTLE: Teacup
Level 0-26: Teacup (7)
Level 27-46: Teacup (27)
Level 47-66: Teacup (47)
Level 67-86: Teacup (67)
Level 87-106: Teacup (87)
Level 107-126: Teacup (107)
Level 127-136: Teacup (127)
Level 137-146: Teacup (137)
Level 147+: Teacup (147)
«Falerin enters the scene.»
Falerin: Uh, Czard, you appear to have... ah, you already know.
Falerin: Let me just take back that cup and saucer.
Falerin: Here, let me get you something better...
Czard: Er no...
Dilwod: I would rather moglinberry juice...
Smartzard: Powerful antioxidants in tea help with the higher cognitive processes.
«You»: Definitely, still not my cup of tea...
Zardhunter: Open the chest to collect your rewards mate! You've bloomin' earned it for a job well done!
«Upon clicking the war chest:»
- Get War Reward!
- Skip Reward / Already Have It
Frogzard Sword [L. 7]
Frogzard Sword [L. 27]
Frogzard Sword [L. 47]
Frogzard Sword [L. 67]
Frogzard Sword [L. 87]
Frogzard Sword [L. 107]
Frogzard Sword [L. 127]
Frogzard Sword [L. 137 G]
Frogzard Sword [L. 147 G]
Caeszard [L. 7]
Regal Caeszard [L. 19 G]
Caeszard [L. 27]
Caeszard [L. 47]
Caeszard Z [L. 51 Z]
Caeszard [L. 67]
Caeszard [L. 87]
Caeszard Z [L. 97 Z]
Caeszard [L. 107]
Caeszard [L. 127]
Regal Caeszard [L. 137 G]
Regal Caeszard [L. 147 G]
Update thanks to Dragoon23. Clarification thanks to Archlist.
Monster ListMonster lists thanks to In Media Res.