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Sir Arceon -> RE: (AQ) Dragons in the Snow: A Drakonnax Frostval (12/23/2013 21:56:59)
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Chapter 3: Welcome to your Nightmare
After making their preparations, Drakonnax, Amoria, Kabroz, and Twilly returned to K'eld Naer.
"Alright, Minister," said Drakonnax. "Time to extract Zorbak from the world you created."
"Oh, how little you understand, Drakonnax," said Bree'Ha. "This is not merely a virtual reality; it is a consensual illusion."
"Meaning?" asked Amoria.
"Meaning that the world created is like a persistent lucid dream," explained Bree'Ha. "It is created not by the machine itself, but by Zorbak's own mind."
"Oh really?" said Drakonnax. "And does the Nightmare Queen know you are impinging so close on her territory?"
"Lucidity means that it falls outside of the realm of nightmares, and thus, totally outside her authority," explained Bree'Ha. "Regardless, the Queen and I have a standing agreement."
"I wager it will still be a nightmare for them, eh, Minister?" chuckled the scientist.
"Given that they will be very physically within the projection of his thoughts... I should say so," said Bree'Ha with a fiendish grin.
"Wait, what?" asked Amoria.
"Four to stream, G'hup," ordered Bree'Ha.
"Four to stream right into the imaging chamber so they can enter the virtual world directly, Minister," confirmed G'hup.
With that, Drakonnax, Amoria, Twilly, and Kabroz were all engulfed in a flash of light...
Somewhere in Zorbak's Dream...
Next thing they knew, they were standing in the middle of Battleon... except everything was dark and dismal, the plants were twisted and dead... and for some inexplicable reason, every building had a straw roof.
"Bah!" exclamd Kabroz, breaking the silence. "This is what that skull head dreams about?"
"Twillies don't like this," said Twilly. "There's no snow, and Battleon looks like a necwomancer decorated it!" He then turned to the barren stump in the center of the square. "...and the twee, the beautiful twee we decorate every year!"
Kabroz turned to Twilly with a look of pure annoyance. "Treee," he said. "T-r-e-e-e, there is no W!"
"Did he just spell 'tree' with three E's?" asked Amoria.
"Why, yes," said Drakonnax, "yes he did."
"Wow. Did he even finish school?"
"I think they expelled him for zombifying his superintendent."
As if to prove his point, Kabroz read the grave next to the stump: "Rest In Peace Stoopid Tree. Mehehehe. Funny, but he left an E out of treee." Drakonnax and Amoria's reaction to this was a continuous synchronized facepalm.
"C'mon, we've gotta find Zorbak!" said Drakonnax finally, his forehead reddened from the repeated facepalming.
"Then you'd better start clearing out some of these undead Guardians, Drakonnax," said Kabroz.
"...Oh zard spit."
(Two Krie-Guardian Magi, One Krie-Guardian Warrior, and Three Krie-Guardian Rogues later...)
Drakonnax and Amoria stood amongst a pile of bones, black armor, and darkness-aligned Guardian weapons, trying to catch their breath.
"Whew, now that was what I call a workout!" said Amoria cheerfully, wiping the sweat from her brow.
Drakonnax picked up a skull, the sockets of which were glowing with a fading blue flame.
"Those weren't just undead Guardians," he said. "Those were Krie-Guardians."
"Xitra Regeirk's footsoldiers?" asked Amoria, to which Drakonnax nodded.
"Oh, great!" said Kabroz, exasperated. "If he's here, that means we have to deal with him too, am I right?"
"Isn't that him over there?" asked Twilly.
Everyone looked. Sure enough, it was Artix's dark analog, Xitra, himself, along with Zorbak, a necromancer-dressed Twilly, a seemingly normal Twig, and Kabroz, dressed in a servant's robes, with a plate of drinks... who was instantly vaporized by a burst of black lightning.
"Not even in your dreams, brother," said Kabroz, the skull on his staff smoking.
"Heya's Twilly," said Evil Twilly.
"Hi's Twilly!" said the regular Twilly.
"Wait, what?" said Zorbak. "Kabroz? What have you done? What is going on? Why are you here with Drakonnax and that pink-haired girl?"
"None of this is real, dunderhead," explained Kabroz. "It is all a Drakel illusion by your own illusions and even delusions."
"What!?"
"It's true!" said Twilly.
"'That pink-haired girl?'" thought Amoria, annoyed that Zorbak didn't even remember her name.
"Seriously?" asked Kabroz. "Battleon just happens to look like you built it?" Undead Guardians running around? There is a dracolich statue on top of the Guardian Tower!"
"I assumed that was my Frostval wish coming true," said Zorbak. "Notice the distinct lack of snow, also." He looked around, noting the differences. "I see. So. So what?"
"So you're coming with us," said Amoria in a slightly threatening tone.
"I don't think so," said Zorbak. "My personal League of Dastardly Necromancers shall take you out."
"Sorries Twilly," said Evil Twilly.
"It's ok, Twillies," said regular Twilly.
"I'm not," said Kabroz, who then proceeded to turn Evil Twilly to ash.
"Really, Kabroz?" said Zorbak. "Was that really necessary?"
"Yes."
"The pain in your brain shall surely entertain," said Evil Twig, speaking up for the first time. "I shall render you into an undead fish sundae. Yummy." He licked his lips in the most evil way any of them had ever seen.
"Okay," said Drakonnax. "I don't know what that is, but it's definitely not Twig."
"YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, ABMOINATION!" cried Kabroz, frying Evil Twig also.
"...You were fooled by that, Zorbak?" asked Drakonnax. "That didn't sound like Twig at all."
"Yeah, well, I HAD been teaching him diction," said Zorbak. "Do you have any idea how hard I worked?"
"Not really, but it doesn't matter, Eliza Doolittle," said Amoria, cracking her knuckles. "He wasn't real anyway, and you're coming with us."
"I don't think so," said Zorbak. "Xitra, avenge the fallen! ...and then we'll raise them."
"As you command, my leige," said Xitra, advancing towards them...
BATTLE ON!!!
Drakonnax began with a powerful blast from his Mooncrest Staff, then Amoria transformed and followed that with a burst of pink flame. Xitra, seemingly unfazed, used his necromancy to raise a swarm of undead hands, and while Drakonnax stomped them back down, tried using his dark powers to control him. Amoria, seeing this, broke Xitra's concentration with a tail to the face, giving Drakonnax an opportunity to strike while Kabroz blasted the bony arms back into the ground. Enraged, Xitra struck with his dark battleaxe, but Drakonnax's staff caught it, and the two struggled, their weapons locked.
"You can't win, hero," taunted Xitra. "I've killed and resurrected far greater warriors than yourself a hunded times over!!"
"Yeah," countered Drakonnax, "but in the end, the villain always gets theirs, no matter how many undead they raise."
"Oh really?" said Xitra. "You mind explaining that to them?"
Another pair of skeleton arms grabbed Drakonnax's legs, trying to drag him down. Drakonnax struggled, both against Xitra himself and the arms, when Twilly came and started beating at them with his stick. This gave Drakonnax the opportunity to push Xitra forward onto the ground, draw his Bladeof Awe!!!, and leap through the air to deliver the final blow. Xitra caught his second wind and rolled, dodging Drakonnax's Blade. As Drakonnax struggled to pull his weapon back out of the dirt, Xitra raised his axe to execute him... but then caught a whiff of a strange scent. He turned, curious, and there was Amoria, who for some reason, looked even more attractive than before.
"What sorcery is this..?" Xitra asked, becoming more and more overwhemed by the pheremones.
"Come over here, necromancer," said Amoria, motioning for him to come closer. "I wanna tell you something..."
"Yes, o vision of purest beauty?" said Xitra. Now it was Zorbak and Kabroz's turn to facepalm. They couldn't believe he was falling for this.
As Xitra drew nearer, the phermones became stronger, and his blackened heart longed more and more for this fuschia-haired angel. She took his head in her hands, stroked his goatee... and then Drakonnax dealt the final blow.
"Don't mess with my boyfriend," Amoria said, letting Xitra drop.
(STOP THE MUSIC!!)
"...Boyfriend?" asked Drakonnax.
"Well... y-yeah," said Amoria. "I thought... w-well, I mean... is it okay if I call you that..?"
Drakonnax smiled. "I don't see why not," he said.
Suddenly, he, Amoria, Twilly, and Kabroz were streamed out of the dream world and back into Keld Naer. They looked around. Everything seemed... dull and colorless.
"No," he thought, "it can't be..."
Just then, Zorbak woke up and leapt off the table, looking more than a little miffed...
"Whoa," said Amoria. "What is going on here!?"
"Are we still in your goofy simulation?" asked Kabroz.
"This is no part of my doing," said Zorbak. "It looks more like..."
"Truphma!" said Drakonnax, his voice dark with loathing.
"We better get out of here!" said Twilly. "There are gifts to deliver, Drakonnax."
"Meh, great," said Zorbak. "Speaking of..."
A group of what appeared to be a Truphma-corrupted Drakel(hmm... perhaps... Trakel?) began to advance towards them.
"Not again..." said Drakonnax.
To be continued...
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