(DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion (Full Version)

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hidan_orochimaru -> (DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion (4/1/2014 12:59:10)

So it's the first time I write a story,I hope it's okay.

Link: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=21646872&mpage=1&key=�

Comments and Criticism are always appreciated.



Chaosweaver Amon -> RE: (DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion (4/1/2014 13:32:42)

Well there's not really much to say. The prologue seems like a good concept. But other than that...forgive my bluntness.

  • It was very short, not much to get drawn into. I'd suggest thickening out your future chapters, maybe by combining some into 1.
  • You wrote it in the format of a quest, or a script. I'm not sure if it was meant to seem like that, but when you do that, there is very little room for anything besides dialogue.

    Other than that, I didn't see many grammatical errors, and I'm curious to see where you go with this.



    • hidan_orochimaru -> RE: (DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion (4/1/2014 13:50:38)

    Actually that was the first part of chapter 1,but I guess it was my fault for not saying it earlier.
    Edit:I edited my first post to let the others know that it's just the first part of Ch.1
    And I didn't post much because my sister wanted to use the computer,but don't worry,there is still much to post,it has just begun!



    hidan_orochimaru -> RE: (DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion (4/15/2014 19:43:00)

    Update:Chapter 1 finished.



    hidan_orochimaru -> RE: (DF) The Legends of Kezeros Knight discussion (4/30/2014 15:26:19)

    Update again:Chapter 2 finished,a small chapter,but may lead to interesting plots.



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