My Storyline/Character Discussion (WIP) (Full Version)

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TJByrum -> My Storyline/Character Discussion (WIP) (6/10/2014 13:47:02)

NOTE: This is a Work in Progress and I am not finished writing it.

This is a story I have had in the works for a VERY long time and I need some help to make it better. Basically, read or skim over it and tell me what you like or what you don't like, what I should change, and what you would do differently. The story can work as both stand-alone stories written by myself, or as roleplays.

Now, the story is split into three arcs, and all three arcs are indirectly affected by the same character; he's not necessarily he main character, nor does he appear in all the stories, but he instigates and/or manipulates the events in every single one of them. Many of the stand-alone stories written by me will be about this character, and the ones that stem from those stories are roleplays.

Background
The stories are all instigated by a northerner named Toric Valgard; these would serve as 'prequel stories' if I ever wrote them. He's a natural-born warrior like his older brother Valius but he wishes to be a common man. Valius goes on to join the Keepers, a special military force that protects their homeland of Asgeir (Viking theme); Toric settles down, marries, and has a daughter named Gyda, although the birth kills Toric's wife. Valius constantly urges Toric to join the Keepers, because Valius knows something very bad is about to happen and none of the Earls will heed his warnings.

Fast-forward twelve years and Valius has been leading a hopeless defense against the Icelord and his army of Icemen; they march south every year during the winter when Watery Straits freeze over. In a surprise attack, the Icemen attack Toric's village and makes off with Gyda. Toric joins Valius and the Keepers and with his natural-born leadership he quickly defeats the Icelord, although Gyda has already been teleported away. Now, the Icelord is one of many 'Divine Lords' that walked the earth thousands upon thousands upon thousands of years ago. The Icelord worked with the Wraithlord to imprison their brother, the Darklord within a dungeon known as Under Deep, and took his blade: Darkshade; the Icelord has been holding onto Darkshade ever since; Darkshade is a divine weapon, one of the only weapons that can kill a Divine Lord. With the Icelord defeated, Toric takes up Darkshade and threatens him to bring back Gyda but he refuses. And then Toric begins to hear the whispers of the Darklord through the blade, urging him to strike down the Icelord, which he does.

The Darklord promises that if Toric frees him from Under Deep he will help him reclaim his daughter; the Darklord realizes Toric is extremely capable, and he knows why the Icelord wanted to capture Gyda alive. Toric willingly agrees, but tells no one; Valius, however is curious as to why Toric wants to keep Dakshade.

Ignoring pleas from Valius, Toric takes Darkshade and heads south, to the Heartlands - where the Omerian Empire once rested (now a collection of squabbling kingdoms). While in the Heartlands, Toric runs into a variety of many problems but he is able to deal with each of them by using the powerful abilities given taught to him by the Darklord. This is when Act I begins.

Acts I, II, and III

Act I begins when Toric pulls a few strings and convinces a group of adventurers to venture into Under Deep and uncover its mysteries. This is a roleplay simply called 'Under Deep'. Toric makes a brief appearance, and so does Valius and a few Keepers who have pursued Toric to arrest him. The Darklord makes an appearance at the end, and Toric appears again to free the Darklord. As per the agreement, and because the Darklord now wields Darkshade again, he teleports Gyda into Under Deep. The Act ends with the party of adventurers left to an unknown fate, and Toric and Gyda begin the long journey home.

Act 2 would be more political than anything. The kingdoms of the Heartlands have been thrown into a tense stand-off (instigated by Toric himself, trying to unite the Heartlands to resist the Darklord and the Wraithlord).

Act 3 would be about the catastrophic war between the Wraithlord and the Darklord.

Toric, Gyda

Toric is not evil, but the things he does are morally questionable. He cares for his family, mostly Gyda, and he doesn't care what happens to anyone else - so long as his family is safe. He doesn't join the Keepers cause he wants to raise his daughter. In truth, Toric, Valius, and even Gyda's blood allows them to have amazing powers - this explains why Toric and Valius as naturally-capable warriors and leaders, why Toric is able to learn so much from the Darklord, and why Gyda will eventually unlock her own powers.

The Darklord thinks he is manipulating Toric, but Toric sees him as a means to an end. It is really Toric who has manipulated the Darklord - as he has never once fell under the influence of the Darklord except to retrieve his daughter. Toric sets in motion a chain of events that will be able to resist the Darklord's attempt to conquer the Heartlands, most of that would be part of Act II.

It could be said that Toric is 'evil' and 'selfish' for what he did when he freed the Darklord, pretty much dooming the entire land. Toric didn't want to free the Darklord, but to him he was hitting two birds with one stone. For one, he was going to get his daughter back, his initial quest. But Toric also knew that the Wraithlord was going to invade anyway, and that mortal races weren't strong enough to stop him alone. So Toric's plan was to free the Darklord, let the two fight, then the mortal races could defeat the weary and battered victor - thus ending the reign of all three known lords (the Icelord, the Darklord, and the Wraithlord).

Gyda is only 12 when Act I begins, but by the time Act III arrives she is 18. She has been trained by Toric and she has acquired special abilities, so she plays a major role in Act III. This 'major role' was foreseen by both the Icelord and the Wraithlord, who both knew the power she possessed, which is why they worked together to capture her. When the Icelord was on the verge of defeat, he teleported her away to the Wraithlord, however the Darklord was later able to retrieve her for Toric. This act by the Darklord changes Gyda, who hates the Wraithlord, but sort of looks up the Darklord as a sort of savior and potential master; this relationship is explored in Acts 2 and 3.

The Divine Lords

The Divine Lords were a group of immortal deities who had a hand in creating the world. Many have moved on into the Afterlife, although there are those who remain. The Darklord was a powerful rival to the others, so the Icelord and the Wraithlord allied together to imprison him. The Icelord took Darkshade, his weapon, and kept it in the Northlands. The Wraithlord, however, was weakened during the battle with the Darklord and spent many years building his forces in the Blacklands. The Icelord constantly tries to reconquer and weaken the kingdom of Asgeir, while the Wraithlord tends to his wounds in the Blacklands.

There is also the Chosen Son, the Sunlord, although he has become a Champion among men and leads the Templar Order (Paladins). The Blightlord exists, but he is nowhere near as powerful as the others and not important; he rules a small kingdom in the Blacklands, in service of the Warithlord.




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