nield
Creative!
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I told myself I'd get around to reading this one day and I am now. As such I'll report any errors I find.
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Two undead grabbed one of her arms each, and half carried, half drug her outside. First post, dragged.
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The four had became fast friends second post. Switch fast and became.
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He had baby blue eyes and twinkled when he laughed, in so many ways Mark reminded the black haired woman of her old friend Mithria. She would have been a warrior. She woman thought sadly as she remembered her friend. I believe you want that and The, respectively.
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Violet parried attack after attack with the sword in her right hand, and cast fireballs and black lightning with her right. Left.
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Mark glanced up and quickly said, "Let's sleep under the start tonight. Stars.
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It glared down at her has Zeratie's screams were abruptly silenced. Third post. As
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Violet flew into a blind rage as cut down soldier after soldier after soldier, as she cut, I believe.
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She slowly crawled into the saddle and griped his mane as tightly Gripped.
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She forced a smile has he glanced at her. As.
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Just has the captain had said As. Terrible habit of yours.
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if I went out and got him some from the beehive not to far from here. Fourth post. Too.
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Mark squeezed her hand to offer comfort before taking the reigns of his horse Reins.
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clearing out the Darkwolf hideout weeks was now gone. weeks ago was.
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but each understood that moaping around Swordhaven was not going to bring back their friends. Though they would never forget their comrades, it was time too move on. moping and to.
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Sepulture's Post 5. Sepulchure's.
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come out the back of her hands wile self training while.
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were now longer so difficult to cast no.
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the memories of her friend still to fresh and painful in her mind to go through her friend's things. Too.
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After several deep breaths she shock began to wear off The.
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She though as her horse navigated Thought.
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Handing the reigns of her own horse to the stable boy, Reins.
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the thought of going up against Sepulchure scarred her. Scared.
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You scarred me for a moment Post 6. Again, scared.
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Mark felt a… other… in his mind leave. An.
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The two friends entered a small clearing where a several undead gryphons Superfluous a.
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While the two adventures stood gaping adventrurers.
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the footsteps were far to light to be him Too.
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Violet moved through the think doors Thick.
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from the "wanted" posters circulation Lore circulating.
Alright, I'm going to stop here for now. I'll be back, with more typos.
Edit: I admit I find the story compelling, so I continue.
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leaving her scythe, and through it her, venerable. Page 7. Vulnerable.
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sending three skull demons with long ponited teeth Pointed.
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Turning so that her feet pointed toward down with the current Maybe try 'turning so that her feet were pointed downwards with the current'
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Turing her head Page 9. Turning.
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"Feeling better now?" A voiced asked. Voice.
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ou are the mage that had a run in with the bandits a few ours earlier, correct? Hours
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then I am going to teleport back some and have some tea. Home.
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Note to self: No one wins in a headbut! Page 10. Headbutt.
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Razor floated behind her, his blade singing has he cut down soldier after soldier. Page 11. As.
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Why discus it? Discuss.
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though the battle was far to fierce for her to be sure. Page 12. Too.
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The fish acted like a regular sword because of the breed of fish or something the Doom Knight had done to it Raven did not know. 'Whether' at the start.
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and when one of them received an injury now matter how small he reversed time around the wound until they were healed. No.
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the remaining four heroes struggled to fend of the attacking army. off.
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He did not know and ranged attacks and knew that going outside the shield would do more harm than good. ? I have no idea how this should read, but it makes very little sense to me.
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Raven signaled Twilly to a quiet standstill. Page 14. Signalled.
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then was drug backwards and hauled up by a rope dragged.
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She heard to loud thumps behind her and when she glanced over her shoulder two.
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„Es pasaukšu ledains vējš!” Double comma?
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he mace turned a simi transparent light blue Semi.
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Once she was settled with an arrow knocked on her bowstring Robina nodded for Raven to proceed. I believe you want notched.
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Enraged, the unicouger snapped at him and almost to a chunk out of the little red moglin. took.
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The beat stood up and ran around in circles with Raven struggling to remain on its back beast.
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and the best fled the clearing. Beast.
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“I’m not talking to you. Needs another ” at the end there.
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Of course! We had a bargen, you help me with the quests and I give you the box.” Robina set the gold and black box at Raven’s feet and said. “You help up your end of our deal, so you may have the box. Bargain and held, respectively.
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Never! I’ll not let to steal my dragon! You.
Ah. That is the last of the typos and general stuff I picked up. I'd have told you more, but I had to remind myself of the differences between American English and Australian English.
All in all, I enjoyed the story, especially the way you paint the images. It really played out very nicely in my mind. Well done, eagerly await the next part.
< Message edited by nield -- 4/11/2011 9:18:41 >
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