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NaNoWriMo 2011 - Can Robots Find Love? Comments

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11/1/2011 22:04:08   
superjars
Member

This is my novel for NaNoWriMo. I'll keep track of my word count here:
Day 1: 1,856 > 1,856
Day 2: 2,276 > 4,132
Day 3: 2,214 > 6,346
Day 4: 1,480 > 7,826
Day 5: 1,055 > 8,881
Day 6: 1,961 > 10,842
Day 7: 2,494 > 13,336
Day 8: 1,017 > 14,353
Day 9: 2,085 > 16,438
Day 10: 1,274 > 17,712
Day 11: 1,722 > 19,434
Day 12: 1,097 > 20,531
Day 13: 2,769 > 23,300
Day 14: 1,993 > 25,293! Woot, half way!
Day 15: 1,859 > 27,152
Day 16: 1,979 > 29,131
Day 17: 1,557 > 30,688
Day 18: 2,924 > 33,612
Day 19: 2,073 > 35,685
Day 20: 705 > 36,390
Day 21: 2,324 > 38,714
Day 22: 1,619 > 40,333
Day 23: 2,686 > 43,019
Day 24: 2,009 > 45,028
Day 25: 2,565 > 47,593
Day 26: 3,096 > 50,689! Winner! Novel complete!

And now begins the fun task of tearing it all apart and revising it to be even better. Thanks to all who read along with this, or who will be reading it in the future. I'll keep this first draft on here, but all my revisions will likely be kept top secret. If you have any suggestions or ideas as I move forward, I'd love to hear them. It's been a wild ride and an enjoyable experience. Now I take a break. :)

< Message edited by superjars -- 11/26/2011 14:27:14 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 1
11/1/2011 23:18:31   
Mistermafio
Member

As I've already told you, I like the story so far. It has quite a lot of potential, and pretty interesting characters I'd love to see worked out a bit more. The few small things I saw:

quote:

In this case, it was the muscles in his side that felt the relief of his simple movements.


I believe it should be either "were the muscles" or "was the muscle", right?

quote:

However, this lasted for no more than a few seconds:

Drop the for? Just a minor thing that kind-of-but-not-really bugged me

quote:

cementing the family’s future and trapping him in the same life that his father had, and his father before him.


Seems a bit confusing without the spoken accent on the 'his'. Perhaps something like: "and his father's father before him?"

quote:

nose and piercing eyes taking in those gathered,* his gaze alighted to his mother, fake smile gracing her beautiful face and silver laughter floating throughout the room.


*Might I suggest a period right about there. To spice things up :P

quote:

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he knew would be a night full of annoyance, and plastered the most genuine smile he could muster onto his face and walked smartly towards his mother.

The sentence seems to flow better without that and

As you can see, mostly small thing. So feel free to just ignore me. ;)


AQ  Post #: 2
11/2/2011 21:13:55   
superjars
Member

Thanks for the comments, mistermafio! I don't plan on doing any revisions until the end of November, but I'll sure keep those in mind when I do!

Also, day 2 of NaNoWriMo produced chapter 2 of my still untitled book.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 3
11/3/2011 22:31:56   
superjars
Member

This seems to be a theme. Day 3 of NaNoWriMo and Chapter 3 of the story. At this rate, I'm going to have ~30 chapters :P Anyway, here's the story!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 4
11/5/2011 0:37:25   
superjars
Member

Well, here breaks my theme. I've decided that today's writing actually fits better as a continuation of chapter 3 than it does the beginning of a new one. Which is fine, since I planned on working on combining chapter when I revise this at the end anyway. So here's the continuation of chapter 3!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 5
11/6/2011 1:22:54   
superjars
Member

Ick. Unstructured time is bad for me and led to little solid writing today. I did get a start on chapter 4, but it was much less than I thought I'd get with an entire day to work on it.

Oh well, this teaches me a valuable lesson: too much free time is bad for me. Anyway, the beginnings of chapter four!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 6
11/7/2011 0:53:32   
superjars
Member

Well, the weekend didn't go as well as I would have hoped. I had planned to write and write, but instead I actually got distracted and distracted. I'll try again to get ahead further next weekend, but the consistency of my second week should help some. Anyway, the rest of chapter four.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 7
11/7/2011 21:45:56   
superjars
Member

And yet, the week starts out nice and solid: A good showing and the first part of chapter five!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 8
11/8/2011 20:37:28   
superjars
Member

Well, second day slows down. I'm super-tired for some reason and almost fell asleep during a few paragraphs, so I'm going to take a short break for a bit. I'm hoping some gaming will help me to get back on track and be ready to go. So here's the rest of chapter five.

< Message edited by superjars -- 11/8/2011 20:40:35 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 9
11/9/2011 23:52:21   
superjars
Member

I thought it was going to be a horrible day, but instead it turned out to be quite productive after I got over my slump. Almost a day ahead now and hope to pull even farther ahead this weekend. But for now, here's the beginnings of chapter six!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 10
11/10/2011 0:24:57   
Dragonnightwolf
How We Roll Winner
Apr/Jun/Aug15


 okay, I'll go chapter by chapter.

Chapter 1: You need a space after "Them" where it talks about the cars. "Steed" needs to be "steed".

Chaper 2: Come needs to be Came. Other, should be others. "her" should be here.

AQW Epic  Post #: 11
11/11/2011 0:08:48   
superjars
Member

Today was a long day (worked from 7:15 am - 6:15 pm with only a half hour lunch) at work and pretty high-stress, so getting wound down enough to write was a struggle. But I got some done before bed time, so yay me! Here's a little to finish off chapter six and the start of chapter seven! Delving a little more into the rules of the world that I'm building. :)
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 12
11/11/2011 23:50:47   
superjars
Member

Well, pretty good day, staying on track. Got some more of chapter seven done. I'll keep pushing on!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 13
11/12/2011 23:54:46   
superjars
Member

Weekends are just less than fun for me. Maybe tomorrow will go better, but here's some more of chapter 7.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 14
11/13/2011 18:12:09   
superjars
Member

Today ended up being a fantastic day for writing. I caught up with several low days and jumped back up to about a day ahead. There might be a /little/ more to write for chapter seven, but this should be most of it!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 15
11/14/2011 21:07:05   
superjars
Member

Today was a solid day of writing, and if this keeps up, I'm going to actually like this story. As I go along, more ideas pop into my head (more than I can develop in a single 50,000 word novel, actually) and I grow more excited about the trajectory of this project. I am actually very much looking forward to going back and doing some revisions of the story to streamline it some more and get it looking nice.

Regardless, here is the ending of chapter seven and the first section of chapter eight!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 16
11/15/2011 21:21:19   
superjars
Member

As things start to come together for Kenneth and Teri, so things for my writing are starting to coalesce as well. Another solid day and I'm absolutely set up for writing tomorrow for a fun and exciting addition to the story.

So, here is some more of chapter eight!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 17
11/16/2011 23:06:10   
superjars
Member

I am just enjoying the evolution of this plot more and more as I go on. I'm a little concerned that I'm heading to the actual climax of my plot a little earlier than I had hoped or expected and that it will cause me to peter out before I get to the 50,000, but I know there is some stuff I can add to the earlier chapters. I'll just have to keep going and see where I end up.

Here is the conclusion of chapter eight!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 18
11/17/2011 23:33:05   
superjars
Member

Lots of stuff to do tonight and now I'm tired. Heading to bed, but I did squeeze out a solid start to chapter nine.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 19
11/18/2011 0:04:29   
Glais
Member

Only read chapter 1 so far, I'll try to tackle 1 a day.
Now, I'm not writer but I like to think I generally have good..."story-sense." At first, because of my own preconceived notions, the beginning through me off a bit and left me slightly disinterested, but as I read it it got better and better. I don't know why, but it greatly reminds me of Hyao Miyazaki's works, I could see him making a movie out of this...
Anyhow, sounds like the rest will be very interesting, I'm just wondering when these Sentient Robots come into play...
DF MQ  Post #: 20
11/18/2011 19:54:14   
superjars
Member

Thanks for reading and commenting, glaisaurus_x. As with all fiction, the beginning serves to introduce the world and its rules. I hope I've done that well, but it can be a bit boring. The story does have a little of a Miyazaki feel to it that I hadn't noticed.

Another solid day, filled with all sorts of fun and games and writing. Here is the rest of chapter nine! We are nearing the climax of the tale!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 21
11/19/2011 21:08:33   
superjars
Member

Another fun day of writing, pockmarked by some Bioshock 2 to add to the fun.

Here is a solid beginning of chapter ten! Things are starting to heat up!
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 22
11/21/2011 0:53:23   
superjars
Member

Slow day for writing, but that's okay.

Anyway, some more of chapter ten.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 23
11/21/2011 23:24:18   
superjars
Member

I kind of went up and down today, but in the end, I had a good section of writing.

The conclusion of chapter ten!

< Message edited by superjars -- 11/21/2011 23:25:15 >
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 24
11/22/2011 3:19:09   
demolitiondragon
Constructively Friendly!


 A HUGE congratulations for sticking with NaNo this long!
Post #: 25
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