Dwelling Dragonlord
ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L
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quote:
His mother, Gloria<> was a Guardian, and his father, Joseph, a Dragonlord. , quote:
Agathor is just about ready to leave for an adventure, when a tall, dark figure arrived at his home one night. was quote:
When he entered the living room, he seen his mother dead on the floor, and his father being killed by this dark figure. saw quote:
Agathor had gone to the Guardian Tower, to his parent's funeral. parents' quote:
After a full days walk, Agathor, Hugo, and Sven made it to a safe spot to set up camp for the night. day's quote:
They were very close to <> the challenge of making it to the stranger, completing quote:
It has been 3 days since Agathor was brought to the Inn, and Silnior has found out everything Agathor has. had quote:
Silnior was frightened to see the path that Agathor took. by, had taken quote:
Agathor seen this saw quote:
Thats when Agathor put the armor on. That was quote:
After he got there, he seen that there was a dark necromancer and an army of undead attacking. saw quote:
Sneeking up to the Necromancer, Unsheathing Agathor's Excalibur, and cast an evil spell onto it. Sneaking, unsheathing quote:
He explained that Agathor did a great job, and that he agrees that he should use this armor when he fights Zephyr <>. agreed, fought, again First up, Vilmor is the only dragonlord known to have bonded with a Great Elemental Dragon. The story itself feels a bit bland. You need to put more detail into your descriptions about what happens. As it is it is very hard to get a sense of immersion, as a reader I was constantly aware of the fact that I was reading a story. A good example of this would be this. quote:
Using his powers, he practiced for a couple hours. That doesn't tell me a lot. You need to give your readers something for them to visualize.
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