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Meh heh heh!

Greetings to all of you out there in E-Zine Land! Zorbak here once again, back by popular demand to interject my wit and insight into your little problems. In this season of Thanksgiving, you should be thankful that there's someone like me around to cast a ray of sunshine into your otherwise dull and dreary lives. Perhaps you should keep that in mind next time those goody-goodies in Battleon ask you to help foil one of my ebil plans... after all, when was the last time Galanoth or Robina Hood responded to your letters?

Incidentally, I'm told that football-headed runt Twilly recently attempted to pass himself off as me while I was busy with my ebil Mogloween scheming. Naturally, you were all too clever to be fooled by his pathetic impersonation. Normally I'd attempt to replace HIM on the hill in town in return (turnabout IS fair play, after all), except I fear that I'd do permanent damage to my brain while hitting myself over the head with a 2x4 to get into character...

And now, on to your questions:

Squirtle001 asks: Dear Zorbak, Have you ever thought to make Artix undead and terrorize Lore with him?

Squirtle, I don't NEED to make Artix undead in order to have him terrorize Lore. We already all live in fear of Artix; specifically, the fear that we will be trapped in a room with him and forced to endure his horrible puns…

Omega fighter709 asks: Dear Zorbak, If they made a movie of adventure quest what should it be called?

I bet you assumed I would say "Zorbak: The Movie." However, you would be wrong. Foremost among my almost innumerable qualities is modesty, which naturally prohibits me from making it all about me. No, I suspect I would name such a movie "Tales of Lore: The Fall of the Paladin Order." Naturally, it would have a happy ending... for me, anyway.

Sir Dyllan asks: Dear Zorbak, How did you get this scar Zorbak?

People are always asking me about the scar. Scars add character. The female moglins go crazy for a guy with a scar. I highly recommend getting one yourself. As for how I got mine? Put it this way: the next time your Mother tells you now to run with a sharp object, I suggest you listen to her...

Robot king60 asks: Why did you choose to be a Necromancer instead of a healer like the other Moglins?

Pah... anybody with a modicum of talent can heal those who are merely wounded. I, on the other hand, can bring the dead back to life. Granted, they come back as mindless undead minions hungry for the flesh of the living and subservient to my every whim but hey… beggars can't be choosers, right?

And finally, MANY of you have asked: Dear Zorbak, What is the secret password for the Moglin Punter game?

If I told you it wouldn't be a SECRET, would it? And where's the fun in that? But if you insist on knowing the secret, send a check or money order for $5 to "Zorbak C/O Artix Entertainment LLC..." Silly moglin. The Zardian is NOT your forum for personal gain. Do it again and I'll tell Mu Glen. - Alac
Err, I mean, sorry... can't help you there.

Anyway, that's all the questions for this edition... keep the questions coming to zorbak@battleon.com and be sure to check out the EbilGames website for future "Ask Zorbak" animated episodes!