Maegwyn
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The Loremaster takes on Lore
By Falerin
Some have said that money is the cause of most evils. This is in fact an over-simplification of a Terran adage that deals with the excessive love of money and the resulting obsessive pursuit of financial gain. I must say, however, that I question the challenge. As some know, I know a few things about evil. And while greed indeed may inspire many dark deeds, it is not, at least in my estimation, the nexus of the worst evils. Lust for power has been similarly advanced as the possible quintessential evil. This too, I think, largely misses the point. Arrogance and pride, especially hubris, have been advanced as well. These sins too, I think, fail to capture that coveted spot of "first mover of evil".
Nay, I must say that the nexus of all evil is language. I can hear the wheels turning now and I dare say I smell the smoke. Language you say? How can language of all things lead to great evil? The answer I put forth is that on it's own, language is in fact harmless. However, the way way that language is used largely determines the evil that it can do. It has long been said that words have power. This power is, I think, very often underestimated by the average layperson; they become very casual and indeed careless in their use of language. Some of language's evils arise as a result of accidental coincidence.
Consider, for instance, the following. The event occurred quite a while ago; I had only been on Lore for a few thousand years at the time. Eldron had scheduled a meeting which I had been asked to meet him at the following day. Having heard the place of our meeting and having been a great gourmand by nature, I got quite excited. I had spent some hours contemplating the culinary event that was to come. I could readily imagine a starter of a shrimp quesadilla, a soup course of a nice chicken corn tortilla or seven bean chili, a main course of some finely made chimichangas and a nice stuffed poblano or chili rellenos; a desert of some sopapillas would complete the order. I was definitely looking forward to the meal. Unfortunately, when I arrived at Tek's Mech's in Soluna, I rather quickly discovered that a fine meal from the southwest of Terra's North America was nothing like what was served. No, mind you, giant robot battles and dragonfire are delicious but they were simply not what I had been hungry for. This is an example of the false cognate, or false friend. It occurs when two languages have similiar sounding homophonic words and you assume, falsely, that their meaning is like wise similiar. Naturally, I was disappointed; had I stopped to reason it out, I easily would have realized that most Lorian's - even those from the modern outpost of Soluna - had not spent time on 19th-21st century Terra. Expecting food, therefore, was careless. Though I must say I am somewhat baffled by the fact that the store did seem to be decorated in the unique style of head gear popular in that region of Terra at that time.
This coincidence, in fact, really cannot be reduced to anything less then a Dhe Ehmn somewhere having fun with me. This leads us to truly the most evil form of language known in any galaxy. If words have power to slay, then slaying language has doubly murderous intent and effect. I refer, of course, to that ancient and unholy form of humor known colloquially as "the pun". I am sure, dear reader, being a sophisticate, that you fully appreciate just how evil the pun is. The terrible disasters that have been brought about by such horrors are beyond mention. The world of Lore, it is has been said by some, is either an acronym - or backronym - for "Land of Rising Evil". Whether true or not, it can be little argued that the nom de guerre is appropriate in this case.
The evil that is represented by such great horrors as Sepulchre, Drakath, or the ShadowScythe Clan are momentous but they all pale in comparison to the sheer number of puns that abound on this world. In a manner that can barely be understood, the world seems to self-generate these terrible atrocities. Sometimes a genesis is obvious, sometimes less so.
I am sure you have encountered such atrocities, but perhaps you doubt me about their serious detriment and the true evil they represent? Consider the fact that early on in the events that now unfold, the government of the continent of Vandar actually arrested one of its own citizens for attacking a Brilhado necromancer who had been happily laughing and chatting with his undead minions. The government's charge against the man clearly elucidated the problem I am speaking to you about. He was accused of striking a happy medium.
Necromantic evil, I think, comes from puns at least as often as undeath. If that one did not slay you, wait a moment, for another has been dug up. The somewhat famous case of Lyseria Slugwrath. She may, in fact, be an ancestor of the infamous Slugwrath family, but she was also a famous sorceress and necromancer. Her taking up of the arts of soothsaying and necromancy may have been an act of compensation, for she was a fairly slight woman and by all means easily overlooked. So much was this the case that when arrested on charges early in her career, she was easily able to slip right out of her holding cell. I still must maintain, however, that it was the local press and not Lyseria that was the true evil. Their headline after the event read as follows "Small Medium at Large".
If you have any doubts about the true wickedness and evil of the power of puns and you have not been punished enough, hang around that paladin Artix von Krieger. While the man pretends to be a saint in his quest for undead, I personally believe him to be the single greatest evil on the face of 3 multiverses. His delight in the wicked language is so great that you will shortly have no doubt of my sincerity.
I never did get my chili which, I must say, upsets me. In order to allay my upset, I will in turn offer you the following:
However, just as the puns are evil, I warn you that the chili is, too. I like it spicy. I also like to taste the distinct flavor of the chili before the spice hits and this art is best accomplished with an assortment of different fresh and dried chilies designed for the purpose.
Doom Chili
(AKA the Seventh Doom Weapon)
2 fatalli pepper pods (diced finely, seeds and all)
4 prig ke nu (also known as Thai or Bird's eye chilies) (diced finely, seeds and all)
4 bell peppers (assorted colors, seeded and pithed, rough chopped)
5 anaheim peppers (rough chopped)
3-8 assorted hot peppers (wax, habanero, scotch bonnet, jalapeno, etc to taste)
4 tablespoons smoked paprika
4 teaspoons smoked hot chili powder
1 bulb of garlic diced
3 onions diced
4 shallots diced.
5 tablespoons dutch cocoa
4 teaspoons oregano
1/2 teaspoon coriander
28 oz tomato sauce
56 oz diced tomatoes
8 oz dark red kidney beans
8 oz light red kidney beans
8 oz cannelini (white kidney beans)
8 oz pinto beans
8 oz frijoles negros
8 oz navy beans
8 oz garbanzo beans (chickpeas)
3 lbs of ground meat (I like to mix differing types, 1 lb each)
1 lbs of small stew cubes
pinch of salt and pepper
3-6 cups water
Topping:
16 oz sour cream
1 chopped fresh onion
Bunch of green spring Onions chopped
16 oz mixed Mexican cheese or extra sharp cheddar
Salt and pepper to taste
If using dried beans, use three to four times as much water as beans and soak for at least 24 hours, being sure to rinse thoroughly and drain. Add to a large stew pot. Canned beans work equally well in this application. If using the canned beans do not drain simply add liquid and all to the stew pot.
Brown the ground meat and mix with salt pepper and dried chili, add to mixture of beans and set aside. Brown the stew cubes in some vegetable oil on low heat and likewise add to beans and set aside. Combine the remaining vegetables and peppers in a small bowl or chop them together in a food processor to avoid handling the volatile liquids. Pour these into the bean mixture and stir thoroughly. Add tomato sauce and remaining dry spices. Stir thoroughly. Add enough water to bring the liquid level about 2-3 inches above the dry ingredients.
Cover and cook on very low heat for 8-12 hours stirring occasionally and adding extra water to maintain liquid. We often liked to prepare this recipe on top of the wood stove in winter or a fire pit in summer. Top as desired.
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