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Poetry of Jamez. Comment thread.

 
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8/6/2008 11:56:49   
Jamez.
Member

The thread may be found at the following address http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=14480016

Greatly appreciate constructive criticism as I am in currently a virgin poet. If I carry on bad traits for longer it could prove hazardous to my future poetic exploits. It's better if I learn while I'm developing than after.

Enjoy reading. I've certainly enjoyed writing.

Best regards,
Jamez.
AQ DF  Post #: 1
8/6/2008 12:17:52   
gwoonjustin
April 2008 Writer of the Month


The Haiku's:

Be aware that only 2 and three are true haiku's, in the traditional sense. It's fine to take aspects of haiku's and use them as you please, just be aware that you're not writing a traditional haiku.

I liked the third best, in its simple imagery.

The Limerick's:

Again, you sometimes miss a key aspect of the craft of Limericks; the twist in the end, the last line should make the audience go "ooh", "aah", or "whoooooo".

No time for more critique now. More soon.
AQ  Post #: 2
8/6/2008 12:33:19   
Firefly
Lore-ian


Haikus don't have to be 5-7-5. Times have changed, Justin. Publishing magazines and CW teachers recognize the following as haikus:

- traditional 5-7-5
- anything of three lines with a short-long-short pattern
- three lines of poetry with a total of 10-14 syllables.

S'long as he has one of the above, they're haikus.
AQ  Post #: 3
8/6/2008 12:58:54   
gwoonjustin
April 2008 Writer of the Month


I was refering to an even more specific feature of haiku's, the strong emotion being expressed through often a natural scene, but it can be any seemingly small and near-meaningless event.
AQ  Post #: 4
8/6/2008 13:27:18   
Jamez.
Member

I understand in traditional haikus themes of nature are a predominant aspect which is why I attempted to make two and three exemplify those traditional traits.

The other haikus however are the traditional 5-7-5 though with different themes, as Firefly stated, the format of the haiku may fluctuate in order to give more freedom and creativity to the poet.

I like the third haiku most as well. At the moment I'm contemplating which poetry I should leave in my thread, and which I delete ect. The rabbit haiku one of the two haikus I've marked down as staying in the thread along with the lies one.

On the whole limericks front, I admit they are pretty weak. I'm scouring my hdd and old English notes now to see if I have and better limericks to add. I have found a few limericks that have that "woah" factor at the end; I seem to however have a tendency to write my best limericks with unsuitable themes which is quite a shame.

Thanks you for posting, much appreciated.





< Message edited by Jamez. -- 1/15/2010 3:35:34 >
AQ DF  Post #: 5
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