Maegwyn
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Editor's Note
By Maegwyn
We have a very special Dragon-themed issue this time, for AE's Month of the Dragon which we celebrate in November.
As those of you who play the games may have noticed, Artix Entertainment is celebrating the Month of the Dragon. We have put together a special Dragon-themed issue of The Zardian, including our very first interactive crossword puzzle. That's right - you can type the letters directly onto the page to solve the puzzle! Many thanks to Clyde (our newest Author-in-Training) for writing the clues, and to Aelthai for providing the list of dragons, and to Alac for creating the interactive feature.
Since Galanoth is quite busy - he IS a Dragonslayer, after all - instead of bothering him for a recipe, I will share something from my own spellbooks.
Yes, I will teach you how to create ...
Dragonsbreath!
For this spell, you will need:
Mortar & pestle (or heavy bowl with sturdy spoon)
Fork
Small glass or ceramic bowl (not metal)
Zipper-locking plastic bag (or glass bowl, not metal)
Refrigerator
Oven
Cookie sheet
Plate
4 large garlic cloves
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 teaspoons paprika
1 tablespoon kosher or coarse salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed dried red chili flakes
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 large bay leaf
1 small lemon
4 lbs of uncooked chicken wings (or one dragon wing, if you've recently slain a dragon)
It is best to perform this spell in a kitchen.
First, peel the garlic cloves and slice them into thin strips - then turn each one sideways and slice again (making little cube-shaped bits of garlic).
Incantation: (To be chanted while chopping) "Garlic bits, garlic bites - itty-bitty nitty-gritty garlic bits."
In the mortar (or in a heavy bowl), pour 2 tablespoons of olive oil and add the cayenne pepper, chili flakes, and black pepper, mixing well with a fork. Add the cube-shaped bits of garlic to this and let them marinate while you prepare the next step.*
Incantation: (When adding cayenne) "A little bit of cayenne pepper - and a little more!"
Wash the lemon, cut in half and squeeze some of it (about 2 Tablespoons of juice) into small glass or ceramic bowl. (Don't throw away the lemon.) Crumble bay leaf into lemon juice. Add paprika, and stir.
Incantation: (optional) "Ow! Lemon juice!"
Now let this marinate while you prepare the next stage of the spell.
Wash chicken (or dragon) wings, and squeeze the rest of the lemon over them. Place chicken and lemon halves into zipper-locking plastic bag (or into a large glass bowl) and put into refrigerator.
Incantation: (Reminder spell - mutter as needed) "The wings are in the fridge."
Now, smash up the garlic-olive oil-hot pepper mixture so that it is like a paste. You can use a mortar and pestle if you have one, or just use the back of a spoon. Slowly add the lemon juice/bay leaf/paprika mixture - keep mashing until everything is mixed together.
Incantation: (chanted in a cheerful tone, while mashing and smashing) "Garlicky paprika mash mash mash / Make the sticky paprikash"
This is now ready to add to the wings, which you've put into the refrigerator.** (You remembered this because you used the reminder spell ... remember?) So, take the wings out of the refrigerator and pour the contents of the bowl over them. Stir or shake, to coat the wings thoroughly, and replace into refrigerator for at least 4 hours and up to 24 hours.
Incantation: (Reminder spell - mutter as needed) "The wings are in the fridge."
When you are ready to complete your Dragonsbreath, take the wings out of the refrigerator and let stand at room temperature (for no longer than 20 minutes) while you prepare the final steps of the spell. Turn on the oven to preheat the broiler.
While you are waiting for the oven, smear a little bit of olive oil onto a cookie sheet.
Incantation: (muttered while looking at the clock every minute) "The oven will be hot soon."
When the broiler is hot, arrange the wings on the cookie sheet and place it into the broiler 6 inches from the heat. (You can throw away the lemon now.)
Broil the chicken wings 10-12 minutes (until nicely browned but not blackened) - then carefully turn the wings and brown another 10 minutes or until they sizzle. (This might take a little more time, or even less time, depending on your oven. Just make sure that the wings are cooked all the way through.)
Incantantion: (spoken while checking for doneness) "Dun ... dun ... dun ... Done yet?"
When you are certain that the wings are done, turn off the oven. Put the wings on a plate and drizzle the pan drippings over them.
Incantation: (To be spoken in a loud voice while ringing a large bell) Soup's on!***
Eat, and enjoy ... and you now have Dragonsbreath of your very own! Share with friends for greatest effect.
*The magical benefit to doing these steps in order is that the natural oils and juices of the lemon helps remove the garlicky odor from your hands. But of course you should also use soap and water to wash your hands before and after each step of the spell.
**(It is best to take the wings out of the refrigerator for this step; although you may think it's faster to just open the door and pour the mixture over the wings, let me assure you that not only does this method waste both practical and magical energy, but also one badly-timed twitch can result in having to clean the entire refrigerator.)
***Of course, you are not serving soup. "Soup's on" is an archaic spell for calling groups of hungry people to the table. See also "Dinnertime!"
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