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The Elements of Death-Tidal Wave!

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1/19/2009 18:40:56   

There is an infinite number of ways to die. We all pass away eventually, but many of us do so prematurely. All we can do is hope that we are not going to be the next to die. When we are in a situation where death is likely or certain, what can we do? There is no way to know without being in the said situation. What's is truly like? We can't know...

Yea, yea, colorful opening and all of that. Now, if you're reading this, it is either out of curiosity, or because I linked you to it. Either way, you probably know that most of my stories go in my grand comment thread, the Great Library of M. So why on Lore am I not putting this story there? The reason: this isn't a story, not in that sense. It's better. It's bigger. It's one of my most powerful works-in-progress yet. Best of all, if I find the time to write, I can be done within a few weeks, if I really try.

What exactly is going on, then?

The Elements of Death is a series of short stories, tied together by the fact that all the characters face situations where survival is doubtful or impossible. In most cases, you can choose whether to believe if they live, or die. Only in a few of these stories will I make it clear that they die (The Fall is a no-survival situation). The others I shall leave open to interpretation of life or death. Why? Because I don't know myself in those stories if they live or die. Okay, I might in some, but in most, my opinion is only a guess. ;)

There are Seven short stories, each with their own element. (I'd name it the Seven Elements of Death, but then it'd appear as if I am ripping off ATDO with his The Seven Arts of Death. The similarity would be too large) The first was the spark. The Fall (Wind, kinda; he's falling). The second was inspired by how good I felt about the first, the thought of landslides, and of the snow still lingering on my property. Avalanche (Ice, technically) was not what made me decide to make it a series. Tidal Wave (Water) was what finally made me think "Hey...three short stories with characters in desperate situations. One's Water, and another is Ice, so if I make the first to be Wind, can't I do the other elements as well?" Okay, I thought of Waterfall after I thought of making it a series, but the thought had been in my head before, just not dominant.
It came in minutes. I brainstormed what each element would be. Some situations I had planned didn't seem to be lethal enough, so I decided on others. Both Earthquake (Earth, Darkness [well, kinda]) and The Desert (Fire, Light [I chose the title 'The Desert' reluctantly, since nothing was more suiting]) were concepted at roughly the same time. Overload (Energy [I just made that title up right now... :/]) was the hardest for me to think of, as it was hard to write something that matched.

By far the easiest was the last element. I can't say what it is. I'll say the title (which still is highly spoilerish, but like some of these other titles, the title doesn't necessarily refer to the situation at hand), but nothing more. Even just that deserves spoiler tags.

Iron Fist.

Keep in Mind that some of these things might change. I only have The Fall written as of right now, and it doesn't really have a message. One of the weakest of the seven, but still one worthy of reading, as it is great, what started this all up.

Anyway, enjoy! :)

The Elements.
Also links you to The Fall. ;)
Tidal Wave.


Want bonus content? Oh, you're so picky. Fine. I'm in a good mood. Let's give ya some extras. ;)

One thing you might notice: I don't name a single character in these stories. Want me to tell them to you? Forget it. Make up your own names for 'em; if I were to name them, it'd really just be along the lines of Bob, Fred, Jack, Steve, Chris, John, and Dave. <_<


Yay! Some actually useful bonus content! XP
Note: Everything from 'Releases' and under is being added just now. Plus any story links other than the original, The Fall. So if I told you how quick it'd be to read The Fall and the comment thread, I was talking about just that--the comment thread that I had at the time and the first story, The Fall. Now, it will take some extra time, but I still am willing to bet it'd take less than five minutes for both stories, less than ten for stories and comment thread.

Corrected a rather embarrassing typo in the second paragraph of this thread (the first being the italicized) that everyone who's read so far has missed. You can ask me about it if ya wish to. To you, it might not seem that big, but, hey, I take pride in pointing out typos; to have one in the comment thread is still rather bad. :/

Released Avalanche! Yes, it is a bit long; I estimate it to be double the length of The Fall. 900 words in comparison to 400. Still a Flash Fiction, yea, but a bit longer. Is that good or bad? Well, that's what I have you for. ;)
I think some parts might contain slight info-dumps. Feedback appreciated.


Tidal Wave released! :D

< Message edited by mastin2 -- 2/14/2009 2:44:27 >
Post #: 1
1/21/2009 16:56:08   
Arthur The Brave One

The fall was good. I really enjoyed it. I would, however, consider putting just a period at the end. To me, it seems that would have the same effect, only stronger.
And don't worry, I'd never think you'd rip from meh :P
But more importantly: THANK YOU! You've just given me a little spark, somehow, to go and write a new TSOAD chapter :D
(Which I really needed, as I have been like 'shall I write a new chapter? Nah, don't feel like it...' for /weeks/)

Again, a good story, and I look forward to reading the rest of the series.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 2
1/21/2009 20:33:23   
time losh

Yeah wow, lots of words :p

Good to see you again Mastin, glad you've been keeping work up and stuff. I liked it so far and basically gotta agree with Arthur there, interested in seeing the rest of the series
AQ  Post #: 3
1/23/2009 1:22:23   

...You two are the best. Wow. I got two posts in less than twenty-four hours. :D
Thank you. I really appreciate it. You have no idea how much those comments mean to me. More than that, you took the time to give feedback and actually post it. This is something I can never forget; if I weren't already eternally indebted to you, I would be now for those comments. ;)
I removed the Eclipse (...I think that's what the '...' is called. Memory is a little shaky on that) and made it just a period, as I got two opinions stating that it'd be better.


Since I was in a good mood, a really, really good mood, I decided to write and release Avalanche! :D
Tell me if ya enjoy it.

Post #: 4
1/24/2009 4:19:23   
Arthur The Brave One

Oh my god... It was so good >__>
Beautifully written to say the least, and a highly enjoyable piece.
As usual, your description is perfect. To the point where it's bone-chillingly perfect.
I couldn't really find anything to improve here, so I'm afraid this is all I have to say :(
I'll be back to read the next one.

AQ DF MQ  Post #: 5
1/30/2009 13:04:45   

Well, perhaps someone can help me with one repetition I spotted but could find nothing to solve it.

Then, I feel a rush of cold air rush against my face.
I was originally using something else for the first 'rush', but it didn't seem like I was using the right word; I looked it up, and it was, indeed, the wrong word, though a few synonyms appeared to work. Rush was the only replacement word I could think of, but it's used later on in the sentence. Which rush should I replace, and what do I replace it with?
Post #: 6
1/30/2009 14:27:11   
Arthur The Brave One

I'd say remove the second rush altogether. Just my opinion though :/
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 7
1/30/2009 17:25:51   

Arthur's idea is splendid. If you don't want to go with it though, I suggest changing the first to "gust" or "breath"

And I realize I still owe you reads on several stories. I'll see if I can get something done this weekend if the art project doesn't devour me.


AQ  Post #: 8
1/31/2009 3:06:15   

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! :D

You people are the best. No, really; you are. ;)

You can only imagine how much I truly appreciate the support; I shall make one of the suggested changes...very soon, to say the least. This means a good deal to me, to see people giving feedback, so you truly have my thanks. :)

(Also, Firefly, until I catch up with HotD, HTHM, and any other stories you've released, I won't consider myself worthy of the criticism. Oh, I'll accept it, but you have no idea how...well, cheap, it feels to be given something which you can easily return...but don't.)

Post #: 9
1/31/2009 11:13:35   

You've read way more of me than I have of you, so your words just serve to make /me/ really guilty. =P

I realize I actually haven't released all that much recently, mainly because I didn't type the two new HotD chapters I wrote. But if you mean the old stuff released before your vacation but you never had the chance to read, yeah, there's that.
AQ  Post #: 10
2/9/2009 13:22:36   
Arthur The Brave One

Rawr! I demand MOAR! >:D
To make this post not completely off-topic... umm... *fails*
... You be good writer! Ugh!
*sits and smokes pipe*
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 11
2/14/2009 2:47:09   

You ask for it, I provide. ;)

Tidal Wave is the third of seven, so that means, three down, four to go. :)

Feedback would be appreciated.
Post #: 12
2/14/2009 7:45:59   
Recar Dragonlance

Never fear, Recar's here. You like to write a lot in your first post 0.0 Anyway, onto this... pick and choose what you want, I won't be offended : )


Shock overwhelms me for the first few milliseconds. What is happening? What’s going on? Why is it going on? Confusion in those few milliseconds overwhelms me.

In this context, you're using shock and confusion as the same thing. This means that the last bit should be either taken out or binded with the shock part with the help of a ;



Through my skiing equipment, I can still feel the rush of pure joy coursing through my system as I race down the slope.

Why would you need to feel the rush of pure joy through your skiing equipment?

Tidal Wave

I didn't find any mistakes but I was wondering if the times he says are estimates or does he know?

One thing I noticed is that, throughout the stories, you don't get a very a good grip of the characters IMO. The stories are vivid, I can see every scene perfectly in my head, I can feel what the characters feel etc, but without a grip of the characters it sort of gets undermined. Because when you're writing about death, you need characters that you trully care about so the effect is large.

On the other hand, great descriptions and your stories all captivated me. You've improved LOADS since I last read, and I look forward to the other stories. Flash fiction FTW!
DF  Post #: 13
6/28/2010 6:13:31   

Good News: I finally finished another Element of Death! YAY!
Bad News: ...But I didn't bring that flashdrive with it on vacation, meaning I don't have it on me and can't post it.
If you're curious, it's "The Desert". I believe I also mostly finished Earthquake, If I Recall Correctly, but got caught on the finishing lines.
I had them in mind a year ago...
...And forgot them.
...Then I remembered a really good replacement for them while I was working on The Desert.
...Which I promptly forgot.
...When I tried remembering for a third time, what I came up was only copying (in slightly different words) what some of the other Elements of Death had. Oops.
Ah, well. Thought I'd give ya this little bit of an update.

< Message edited by mastin2 -- 6/28/2010 6:24:33 >
Post #: 14
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