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RE: The Dark Forest- comment thread (Seventeen Chapters)

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9/6/2009 5:20:42   
Anvos
Member

Well nice chapter.

Only thing really so far I'm wondering is what happend with the 2 other survivors of the squad since we have them setting of on their journey and haven't heard anything about them in a few chapters since then. Though I guess it would have kinda broke the flow of these last few chapters.

< Message edited by Anvos -- 9/6/2009 5:22:02 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 51
9/6/2009 16:10:45   
ringulreith
Member

I thought I should mention this. I don't know why, but whenever I imagine Serenade in this chapter, I picture a little girl...
Post #: 52
9/6/2009 17:39:08   
Anvos
Member

I think it had to do with the fact that she just went through one of the people who she most looked up to in the world, probably actually had a tiny bit of a crush on, and had saved her life using her to get free, which left her a little emotional. Then there is the fact she had just spent time chained up with werewolves who wouldn't have hesitated to rip her apart, if they hadn't been ordered not to, for what she did.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 53
9/6/2009 21:35:11   
sdeaf
Member

Yea, and if you think about it, she's like...seventeen or something, while everyone around her is far older... So she kind of is a little girl. Regardless, I'm glad that you guys enjoyed the chapter. Ah, and to deathwalker, yea... let's just say that Damian's a little emotionally drained at the moment, when/if he gets a good rest, I'm sure he'll think about it more. Oh, and Othniel and Sophitia will probably reapear when the necromancers do... Which shouldn't be too long I guess.
AQ  Post #: 54
9/13/2009 21:32:34   
sdeaf
Member

Okay, chapter 18 is finished. I don't have much to say about this one, other than that it's a brief look into Damian's past and that he's forced to choose. I hope you enjoy it, even though it's kinda' short. I'm wigging out right now, so it's not actually out yet, but when it is, it'll be here Redemption.



< Message edited by sdeaf -- 9/13/2009 21:38:05 >
AQ  Post #: 55
9/14/2009 2:18:18   
sdeaf
Member

Okay, as per a mods request in an effort to make the forum look as clean-cut as possible. i've consilidated...Heh, consilidated... Consolidated all of my chapters into one big one called "The Dark Forest" (Who would've known?). You can find it here. The Dark Forest and just go there in the event of any other updates in chapters.
AQ  Post #: 56
9/14/2009 7:26:57   
deathwalker05
Member

Heh, always figured theyd eventually make you do that. Good chapter btw, going to be interesting to see how you follow it.
AQ  Post #: 57
9/15/2009 6:52:57   
Anvos
Member

I'd been wondering why you were able to release things on a chapter by chapter basis when most other stories are one thread. Oh and another good chapter. Never pegged Damain as that type of person before he was changed.

< Message edited by Anvos -- 9/15/2009 7:32:50 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 58
9/15/2009 20:46:26   
ringulreith
Member

Well, as always I'm here to applaud your good work. I do believe that in terms of writing and plot, this chapter is the best one so far. It also adds greatly to the storyline, with Damion's background and all.

I doo have one (although big) suggestion, though. You really described chapter 18 well, but I think your descriptions were focused on the wrong area. Most of these seens are memmories, very vivid memmories of Damion. Try to describe them less--imagine an echo; when you hear it, it isn't clear, but dull and fuzzy. Memmories are the same thing--echos of the passed. So blur the memmory descriptions a bit. Focus your descriptions on what Damion is thinking--just think of it, he must be really emotional reliving his memmories. For example, he'd be angry and sad for the one where his family gets killed, while he would be embarrassed or ashamed when reliving the other ones. Also, make me believe he wants redemption. Make me believe he doesn't like this Lucipher guy. Make me believe and understand what Damion is thinking. Remember, don't tell, show.

Sorry if I was a bit harsh, but I really care about this story, and this chapter was over all awsome. Honestly, you have really improved since your first chapter back in ENG101. It's really showing.

Keep up the good work,
Ont!
Post #: 59
9/16/2009 12:19:13   
sdeaf
Member

Thanks for commenting, you guys. Hmmm, you're probably right, Ont... An overhaul like that would require a re-writing of the chapter, though, so if I ever edit them over again I'll look into that. Thanks again.
AQ  Post #: 60
10/20/2009 1:57:35   
sdeaf
Member

Okay, i know you've just been checking this page for the last month wondering when I was going to post my next chapter and crying yourself to sleep since it's been solong (More likely you've stopped caring), but I would like to proudly announce that chapter 19 is out. I have alot to say, but it's all in the chapter. For now, I'm just happy that I've figured out how to go to chapters rather than just the overall story. *Happydance*

Anywhoo, here it is, in all of its... well, whatever it is. Also, there's probably going to be quite a few spelling errors, since it's so long, any help with that would be appreciated. Okay, here it is The Council of War. Enjoy.
AQ  Post #: 61
10/20/2009 15:09:29   
deathwalker05
Member

interesting interesting...back after a month and you end it with a cliif hanger XD
AQ  Post #: 62
10/21/2009 23:41:10   
sdeaf
Member

Aw, thanks for actually reading this after so long. So... Just out of curiosity, how did you see that it had been updated?
AQ  Post #: 63
10/22/2009 7:16:06   
deathwalker05
Member

I still check the forums pretty consistently, and i use the recent post filter thing to show posts...so yours was at the top =)
AQ  Post #: 64
10/24/2009 14:44:09   
Anvos
Member

Well another intresting chapter. I almost thought you had disapeared for good. As for how I noticed this I chanced upon the thread poping up in the little most recent post box for the Literary Section of the forum.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 65
10/26/2009 11:32:04   
sdeaf
Member

Ah, well I'm glad you found it interesting. Yea, it's not so much that I lost interest, I just would pull up the story and go "Bleh" for the longest time. Hopefully the next one won't be like that.
AQ  Post #: 66
11/12/2009 1:17:32   
sdeaf
Member

And, without any gurther delays (Which are not in any way results of my laziness), here's chapter 20, Reunions. Hope you like it.
AQ  Post #: 67
11/12/2009 21:09:12   
deathwalker05
Member

Good chapter.
Edit: On a side note, we need to get a discussion going in this thread >>
AQ  Post #: 68
11/16/2009 2:50:06   
Anvos
Member

Yes I'm still reading this and another good chapter I would say.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 69
11/28/2009 23:43:37   
sdeaf
Member

Glad you guys liked the chapter. I'm slowly coming back from taking a month to write a few pages, I think I made this one in only two weeks, but it might have been three. Hmm, dunno' if I'm allowed, but I'd be game to talk about anything. Oh, and also, the 21st chapter is up, and here's the link for it Afterthought. Hope you enjoy it, though it's a bunch of talking and such... Well... In truth, it was supposed to be in the last chapter... but I kinda' forgot to put it in and it didn't fit into the next one in any way, so I lenghtened it a bit and made it its own mini chapter... Well, it's not exactly as small as eight, but it's a normal size I guess. Anyway, hope you like it. Next xhapter might take a bit, since it'll be at least part of the battle.
AQ  Post #: 70
11/29/2009 0:03:47   
deathwalker05
Member

Heh, so 2 unknowns. Werepyres and normal humans.and on a side note, u posting this finally made me bunker down and try to remember my password for the forums...lost it for the last week...even now right after entering it i forget ><
AQ  Post #: 71
12/1/2009 16:14:09   
Anvos
Member

Well an intresting set up chapter.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 72
12/1/2009 23:05:45   
sdeaf
Member

Yep, that's basically what it was, a set-up chapter. Hmm, better than a filler chapter I guess ^^. Yea, there are two unknowns. Heh, whenever I think about this it makes me keep on thinkingabout the Battle of Five Armies from the Hobbit. Not that I'm anywhere near as good as him, but it reminds me of it. Glad you got your password back :). Guh, I really feel like writing the chapter, but I also don't want to, 'cuz it'll be alot of work... Oh, if only I wasn't lazy.
AQ  Post #: 73
12/14/2009 16:34:27   
sdeaf
Member

Uh, this is sort of an update, I guess. I'm still working on the 22nd chapter, and there's only like one more fight 'till it's done, but the hardware in my computer died, so I'm not going to be able to work on it for awhile. I'll post again when it's finished.
AQ  Post #: 74
1/11/2010 5:31:12   
sdeaf
Member

Alright, my third post in a row, although this one might actually sound important. I finished the 22 chapter, and it's by far the longest...yet. Well, click on this link and read the Authors notes or whatever they're called to get the statistics... If you can call them that... Or you could just skip that and read the friggin' story instead. Heck, I bet the only reason you're still reading what I'm writing is because I haven't posted the link here...yet. (I wonder how many people actually read this...)
More importantly Of Honor, Deciet, and Death. Hope you like it.
AQ  Post #: 75
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