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RE: Myrmidon - Comments

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3/17/2009 0:54:06   
illusion99
Member

:O your story is very interesting,Crimz.
I seem be be coming here often now even though the next page isn't even released yet
AQ DF  Post #: 26
3/22/2009 7:34:48   
Crimzon5
Member

Almost done with Part two of Left to Rot

ALso, I've been rewriting the current posts again and again and again :p
AQ DF  Post #: 27
3/24/2009 4:09:42   
Crimzon5
Member

Left to rot - complete

What to Expect: Act 3
Focus of Act 3: It'll focus on another human this time... this time a woman
Again... the character will have a reason to venture into the caverns

The main story begins on act 4

I am sure this image size is legal. Anyway, teaser pic: See first post for better size with detail


< Message edited by Crimzon5 -- 3/24/2009 10:17:52 >
AQ DF  Post #: 28
3/24/2009 13:32:16   
Helixi
Member

Yay! New stuff!
AQ DF  Post #: 29
3/24/2009 20:18:37   
Crimzon5
Member

I had a teaser pic of the charcter in Act 3. Hopefully I can scan her before I post the prologue
AQ DF  Post #: 30
3/25/2009 9:15:51   
Elosix the Grimjaw
Member

You seem to be rely potential artist crimz ;D!

< Message edited by elosix -- 3/25/2009 9:16:10 >
AQ  Post #: 31
3/25/2009 9:20:10   
Crimzon5
Member

Hehehe, thanks.
AQ DF  Post #: 32
3/25/2009 20:50:23   
marvin_the_robot
Member

Cool, I'm lovin' the new pics :)

As an amateur artist though, I'd like to comment on the slightly disproportional legs. It's good, but you might want to extend them slightly :)

It's up to you though. I'm STILL trying to find something to criticize about your work. It's excellent so far. I'll post an actual critique once my homework load lets up ^_^
DF  Post #: 33
3/25/2009 21:08:57   
Crimzon5
Member

Hehehe... Maybe the leg's perspective went kinda wrong. Oh well... good thing I have time to fix the chnges to other characters. Currently working on Rebecca right now.
AQ DF  Post #: 34
3/26/2009 8:35:40   
Crimzon5
Member


2nd teaser pic.

Also... Act 3 posted

< Message edited by Crimzon5 -- 3/26/2009 8:36:35 >
AQ DF  Post #: 35
3/27/2009 1:23:19   
bobby1013852
Member

hey u spellet korean wrong this is how to spell it man and it needs more action
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 36
3/27/2009 1:34:04   
Crimzon5
Member

I didnt use the word Korean...
AQ DF  Post #: 37
3/27/2009 3:10:12   
alexmacf
Member

The bold parts are where you made your mistakes.

quote:

“Not much, your highness.” After a short pause, he continued, “I am heart-fully sorry for the loss of your older sister. If only I was strong enough to–”
I believe you mean "wholeheartedly."
quote:

“Yes, my Lord,” he replied as if he had lost control of himself.
I would assume that the Princess is a girl, and would therefore be addressed as "My Lady."
quote:

“It’s alright,” she said. “But I was going to say that, to think a Human would want to conceal his identify after being bestowed a great reputation.” Alexander remained silent. His anger slowly dissipated. “That just shows how unsure you are of your answer.”
Identity.


This is an excellent story. I like it. :)
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 38
3/27/2009 3:19:06   
Crimzon5
Member

1) Heart-fully is an okay word. We even use it when we pray ;)
2) You'll understand why he used Lord... in... 10+ chapters xD or you could go for a spoiler
3) ... bummer. Good eyes ;)

Thanks :D]

Love is a Curse - up

Trust me... if you saw that thing's next part (which I'm working on right now)... you'd be shocked

< Message edited by Crimzon5 -- 3/27/2009 3:59:47 >
AQ DF  Post #: 39
3/27/2009 21:15:54   
marvin_the_robot
Member

Arghh, I'm so frustrated!

I'm having trouble getting started on my critique! You keep pumping out all this good stuff; I can't keep up xD

Love the pics you're adding to the story; it gives a better visual of what's going on in the story.
DF  Post #: 40
3/27/2009 22:45:44   
Crimzon5
Member

Hehe, I have Fabula, demolitiondragon, Xirmy, etc to thank for that. And yeah, character pics are for visual aid. When reading a story, one imagine how it looks like right?
AQ DF  Post #: 41
3/27/2009 22:58:24   
UrufuHiken
Creative!


 I've just gotten to part two of your story Crimz (if you don't mind me calling you crimz) and so far I have to say that I am liking it. An intriguing plot, interesting characters, and fascinating world. You've done pretty good and I intend to keep up with the story. Hope you continue by the time I'm done, and good luck.
You've got a new reader

_____________________________
Post #: 42
3/27/2009 23:10:58   
Crimzon5
Member

Thanks. And yeah, I'm okay with Crimz. In fact, I'm the guy who made people call me Crimz.

Anyway, you'll have fun reading Act 3 hehehe
AQ DF  Post #: 43
3/28/2009 0:33:34   
UrufuHiken
Creative!


 Alrighty then! But when I am not so tired... Oh well, till the morning comes.

Goodnight Crimz, I wish to you, continued blessings in all that you do.

Till the morning comes!

_____________________________
Post #: 44
3/28/2009 1:10:08   
bobby1013852
Member

great work crimz cant wait for act 3 can u put me in youe story
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 45
3/28/2009 6:48:57   
Crimzon5
Member

Thanks guys.

@Bobby: Got any other name besides Bob/bobby?
AQ DF  Post #: 46
3/28/2009 11:43:16   
UrufuHiken
Creative!


 Hey Crimz.
Been reading your story, and I decided to see if I could help a bit. In the first part of Blood and Tears, these light mistakes became immediately apparent to me.

I know how much of a nuisance it can be with having to proof read so often that it normally eats up the time for anything else, so I've identified the # of the paragraphs of the mistakes.

I hope I am of assistance, and good hunting!


quote:

1. what little hoped it had.

18. is said to emit flames

19. His He stopped crouching and straightened his back, giving his full interest to the young man.

26. Aaron tailed him as he walked towards the stables, and mounted a stallion.
*With this, I just thought that the flow of the sentance would be better if the comma was removed. Aaron tailed him as he walked towards the stables and mounted a stallion.
Or if you keep the comma, Aaron tailed him as he walked towards the stables, mounting a stallion. Just one of my opinions.

29. The blaze the that erupted from a small bonfire
I make that mistake all the time. I guess its just a writers mind set or something.


Anyways, I really didn't take the time to make a proper critique; I was more interested in reading the story. Never-the-less, I hope I was of some assistance.

Post #: 47
3/28/2009 20:22:00   
Crimzon5
Member

Thanks for pointing those out. By the way, those are for Left to Rot, not Blood and Tears
AQ DF  Post #: 48
3/28/2009 20:45:09   
UrufuHiken
Creative!


 yeah that's what I meant to say. Blood and Tears is part one, part two is what I was referring to. Why wrote Blood and Tears I will never know.
Post #: 49
3/28/2009 21:41:29   
Crimzon5
Member

... neither will I :D
AQ DF  Post #: 50
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