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RE: The Reaper's Records: Chronicles of Tipa Comments II

 
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5/9/2014 17:21:24   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


Power Rangers meet Captain Planet meet Zelda meet D&D?

I will start reviewing somewhere around the part where I left since last reading your story.


quote:


Ahh, you’re beginning to realize that things are far more complex then 6 basic elements.

than
quote:

The only ones who even bother with revival are the aristocrats or royalty of this realm… oh, that’s another thing we need to work on, you’re “rich people” manners<>

your, .
quote:


Your charisma and intelligence stats are typically higher then the other Reapers.


quote:

“Ok… I certainly don’t feel craftier then before<>

than, .
quote:


Grim explained, trying to keep Necro calm so he didn’t loose his focus.

wouldn't lose
quote:


Essentially, this is your first introduction to telepathy, except that you’re using the death energy link you have with your undead minion as the medium, making it much easier then actual telepathy<>

than, .
quote:


his voice calmer then before.

than
quote:


You’re dark side is just much more active then a normal human’s due to your elemental affinity as Reaper of Death, as explained earlier.

Your, than
quote:


That’s not going to happen for a while, and let me tell you, leveling up gets tougher the higher you are. Now, let’s try it again, but try emptying your mind before giving it another order<>” Grim explained.

.
quote:


It was quite acrobatic for an undead deer, as the deer showed when it ran Grim’s trapeze-tightrope-flaming hoop-guillotine obstacle course showed.

quote:


Very good Necro, I believe you just passed your intro to animal undead course.

undead animal
quote:


Now, let the deer go, and let’s get some sleep<>

.
quote:


“Boy has potential, though he seems to have developed a desire to do me in<>

.
quote:


EVA commented<>

.
quote:


“That would be good advice, if he was in a party<>

.
quote:


“He also needs to learn how to handle surprise attacks<>

.
quote:


and I want to see if the spell deflects heavy storms<>

.
quote:


“You are a cruel, cruel master<>

“Yes I am EVA, yes I am<>

.
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 251
10/27/2014 18:56:09   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


There is absolutely no power rangers involved here. I will have you know that the elements are totally ripped from the original Age of Wonders, thank you very much. Except for Ultima, I totally made that up and ripped the name from Squeenix. Captain Planet.... uh sure I can see some similarities. Then again this was written before TV Tropes became a thing and was picking fun at a lot of stuff so I'm hoping that it won't be an issue...

Also, this post is here to let y'all know that the factory here at Reaper Records is actually back up! Thanks to the announcement of Amazon doing a Crowdsourcing to direct online publishing thing, I'm going to take a shot at it!!!!

HOwever the story hasn't been touched since 2009-10ish, so it's likely going to need some overhauling.... Especially the parts that reference blatantly copyrighted materials <.< >.>

< Message edited by Ultrapowerpie -- 10/27/2014 18:57:26 >
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 252
11/27/2014 11:21:42   
Sentimental Melody
Member

In the first post:
quote:

You’re probably what the definition of ‘magic’ is.


I think you're missing a "wondering" right there.

Anyway I like it very much so far, though I have not yet read much. Also, I think it is okay to reference other materials, even copyrighted ones, as long as you don't actually take too much from them. After all, just sort of mentioning them is almost like free advertising for those companies. The problem only comes when you copy the copyright. xP
DF  Post #: 253
1/8/2015 13:14:18   
  Dwelling Dragonlord

ArchKnight AQ / OOC / L&L


quote:

As soon as he finished the move, a magical black V, bottom facing the monsters appeared the length of the slash and went flying towards the enemies.

a magical black V bottom facing,

Had to read it again for it to make sense.

quote:

Good thing my scythe’s elemental affinity doesn’t trigger elemental resistances or absorption in melee combat

Nothing wrong with the sentence grammatically, however it does feel like a game tutorial and takes me out.

quote:

While the owlbears were tougher then the Stalfan in terms of essentially everything, the fact that the Stalfan could keep reviving every time they were defeated quickly wore the owlbears <> until both of them died.

than, down

quote:

Because if we did, you’d eat them all up and eat more then you should and you’d do your body more harm then if you didn’t eat anything. Trust me, we tried a good tasting one, and the results weren’t pretty. And an average tasting one had the same effect with people actually wanting to eat more then the recommended dosage.

than, than

quote:

They taste worst then dirt, but I guess they DO get the job done

than

quote:

The monsters he had fought earlier were also holograms with all the attributes of the real things.

More of a question about lore than anything else, but does this include "souls"?

quote:

This means only the Reaper of Fire will be getting this status ailment off regularly, and lightning is considered a higher tier spell then most traditional fire spells.

than

quote:

Typically, the Water Reaper will be inflicting it more often then the Wind, but it depends on their personality.

than

quote:

As I said, you are dealing with an element that is much more about subtlety then the other elements. In a contest of pure magic against other equal level Reapers, you would find yourself loosing head to head. However, as the Reaper of Death, you rarely face your enemies head to head unless you have a massive hoard at your disposal.”

than, losing, horde

quote:

but I use the term to illustrate that there’s more to battle then just raw damage, especially with you.

than

quote:

However, when you find yourself in a fight with another human, it’s always good to play <> on their anger.

in, I believe

On a sidenote here, do these abilities work only on humans?

quote:

I bet their going to blow up that village… it’s going to be on interesting quest to watch.

they're, one

Gabriel was cooler, at least in the first iteration.


Chapter 6

quote:

it was deemed that only a sadist had designed it.

could have

quote:

Your lucky that I don’t have any organs so I can’t throw up from flying across the room like a bouncy ball

You're

quote:

I mean, they ARE just a bunch of random people that for some odd reason decided to set up a town in the middle of a forest overrun by mountains.

Did I read this right? I mean to say, is this what you wanted to say?
AQ DF AQW  Post #: 254
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