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RE: The Reaper's Records: Chronicles of Tipa Comments II

 
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11/3/2009 1:17:14   
Maureu
Member

I'm sure whichever you choose, it will be on par with the other chapters.

However, of the various flaws I have seen (/s), there was one I'd like to point out:
quote:

"Lovely day chaps, excellent job. We’ll be in for the early morning tea break in a few minutes… why don’t y’all head in early, and I’ll finish up the shift?” he offered, speaking in his New Grand Accent.


The mix-matching of accents here really bothers me. It (slang) is alright for other characters, but when you give someone a specific accent and then throw in something out of place, it just messes with the flow. Not sure if this has been pointed out yet, but I'm sure you value my input regardless.

Also, the story has progressed very nicely, though I would speak against using slang in general. Have fun with it until I can next get on to critique you.

Owning/claiming pages isnt allowed. ~GG


< Message edited by green_girl02 -- 11/4/2009 0:56:41 >


_____________________________

Post #: 26
11/3/2009 17:16:35   
BadHulk
Member

Wait wait wait.... A training!? What the... What for training? >.>
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 27
11/3/2009 18:11:30   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


Ah, but remember that the New Grand Kingdom will be filled with fake/cheezy British accents so you'll have to get over it.

What for? Silly Hulk, they just reached level 30, all new shenanigans await in this epic chapter! :o
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 28
11/3/2009 22:58:48   
Snake XZ
Member

Hmm, I should probably get cracking on those dates. Anyways, I still can't stop reading... It's too good and funny. Plus I just can't wait to see what problems they'll get into with NIGHTVISION! Yes, I remember that from the chapter where he made the pact with the Death element. hehe! So much awesomeness! Plus those shenanigans better involve some form of mauling, whether it be reaver or grim... maybe a grimball game? I must go ponder what shall occur... and Grim, I will figure out a way to silence you eventually.
AQ MQ AQW  Post #: 29
11/5/2009 11:14:04   
BadHulk
Member

Ah Pie... That explained much o.O(Bit late reaction as I had a cursus yesterday and I have HW, a GF and a social life ofc :P)


Edit: When is the next chapter comming up?

< Message edited by BadHulk -- 11/10/2009 8:52:42 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 30
11/11/2009 1:41:45   
Shreder
Member

I just read through the whole thing in a couple hours. Wow. Just wow. Ever think about publishing? If this were a real book I would totally buy it. Write more!

< Message edited by shreder110 -- 11/11/2009 2:03:58 >
DF MQ  Post #: 31
11/12/2009 15:26:36   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


Awww, thanks.

Next chapter... no promises, but UT tends to get harder during the last two weeks of november as the professers cram stuff before school ends, so... I'll try, but no promises by the end of this weekend.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 32
11/16/2009 22:16:33   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


Here ye Here ye, I bring thee great tidings of joy for all people... maybe!

Good news: The next chapter is finally up! (YAY!)

Bad news: I got side tracked, I'll be honest. I finally figured out how to give The Talk, and I couldn't wait any longer to introduce it to y'all. So, instead of shenanigans, I gave y'all an extremely mindboggling perspective of how the Fictional Omniverse works! Please note that this is not the only part of "The Talk", but it includes a vast majority of information.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask here, and Grim will be explaining them in the next chapter as Necro secretly consults Grim for more information on the Fictional Omniverse! :o

Also, the next chapter WILL have shenanigans, I do appologise for the cliff hanger. Enjoy!
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 33
11/17/2009 1:32:36   
Shreder
Member

What can I say? More good stuff. Keep it up!
DF MQ  Post #: 34
11/17/2009 2:55:37   
Silver1
Member

Great new chapter.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 35
11/17/2009 11:10:40   
BadHulk
Member

Its cool that you introduced your self XD.

Anyway 3 points:

This was a very bad move, because the longer you were in that forum

I assume you ment Form? XD Forum nah >.> Thats an omnispace made by us, the forummites.

2. Replace this link with the 1 in the first post of your story.

3. Great chapter!

< Message edited by BadHulk -- 11/17/2009 11:11:02 >
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 36
11/17/2009 11:51:04   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


Fixed!I'm surprised no one is mind boggled by the enormitiy of what has been revealed to you, or just plain confused :o
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 37
11/17/2009 15:00:04   
deathwalker05
Member

.....wow
Don;t think theres any other thing to say.
AQ  Post #: 38
11/17/2009 15:21:17   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


See, THAT is the exact sort of "your mind has been blown, thank you very much" reactions I was going for. I'm satisfiied now.

Next chapter should hopefully be up by the end of American Thanksgiving weekend. AKA, give me roughly 2 weeks.
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 39
11/17/2009 17:59:39   
ringulreith
Member

...
WOW
...

Oh yes, did I mention I HATE you?
Absolutely, completely HATE you?
Post #: 40
11/17/2009 19:35:50   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


Why, because your mind has been so blown away by the sheer enormity of what I have introduced? :o
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 41
11/17/2009 20:26:37   
Snake XZ
Member

Wow.... so much info.... So any idea/dream/belief etc goes into one of these bloody omniverses? and that if a writer has enough passion, his characters can come to "life"? AND FINALLY HE GOT NIGHT VISION!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
AQ MQ AQW  Post #: 42
11/17/2009 20:43:53   
ringulreith
Member

No, Pie, because you're a sick, cruel person that likes to leave us hanging at the first mention of "shenanigans".

Though, that revelation was... Unexpected, to say the least. Good job, and keep writing! (or else!)

< Message edited by ont -- 11/17/2009 20:44:33 >
Post #: 43
11/17/2009 22:32:37   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


Oh, yeah, the cliffhanger. I forsaw HAYT about that, muhahahahahahahaha! :P
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 44
11/17/2009 22:35:41   
Shreder
Member

You foresaw correctly. Oh and why the avvy change? I liked the old one better.

< Message edited by shreder110 -- 11/17/2009 22:48:27 >
DF MQ  Post #: 45
11/17/2009 22:50:23   
Ultrapowerpie

Mail Moogle of AdventureQuest


To signify my shift from a moogle with a large spear to a mischivious moogle to better explain the cliff hanger? :D
AQ DF MQ  Post #: 46
11/17/2009 22:53:05   
Shreder
Member

Ah I see. Well anyways can't wait to read more. *wink wink nudge nudge*
DF MQ  Post #: 47
11/18/2009 0:26:31   
Snake XZ
Member

Hey Pie, I was wonderin. IF Necro gets Night vision at Level 30, does that mean Reaver gets infrared? And Jenna can see under water? And Loki.... can see something? I don't know, but does it work like that?
AQ MQ AQW  Post #: 48
11/18/2009 1:14:18   
BadHulk
Member

I assume Pie's avatar looks like his main character, Necro.
AQ DF MQ AQW  Post #: 49
11/18/2009 19:37:40   
Snake XZ
Member

I assumed it was a moogle that was in Organization XIII cause that cloak looks very much like the cloaks worn by the members... anyways, I'm still trying to comprehend the massive amount of info that was given to us...
AQ MQ AQW  Post #: 50
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