Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!
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Don't Shake the Hourglass!
by: Clyde
After an almost near deadly encounter with Darkovia's vampire queen, the Guardians and I were ready to leave this cursed land. Everything was packed and ready go except me. I wanted to grab a quick bite before we went back to BattleOn, so I unwrapped a fried zard and tomato sub and started eating it.
"You really shouldn't eat and walk out here," one of the Guardians warned. "You could choke on it or attract hungry monsters."
I rolled my eyes while asking myself 'What do these guys know?' and continued enjoying my sub. We were about to cross the field with really tall grass, but I wasn't worried since I was with the Guardians.* Halfway across, Rimblade leapt out from the grass wearing a Zorbak mask, screaming something about cannons.** Man, did he get me. In fact, I was choking on my sub so I am pretty sure I would take "scared too death" literally.
After a few minutes, I died. The Guardians didn't even notice, and Rimblade just stood there watching. I think he was in shock that he had, for once, actually succeeded in pranking someone. Before I passed on to the next life, I could not help but ask myself what in the world did I do wrong to deserve this.
Later, I had regained consciousness, but I was sitting in complete darkness. At first, I thought maybe I was still alive and just locked in a janitor's closet.*** That was until Death himself made his grand entrance. He checked his list, then he checked it twice, trying to make sure whether or not my time of death was precise.
Underneath the overhead shadow of his grim hood there was a decrepit bleached skull with a menacing grin on his face. I tried looking into his eyes, but there was only emptiness within the skull. It was hard to even believe that emptiness existed in such a lively being. His scythe hung against his shoulders while his right arm was draped over the handle. The soul slicing blade reflected the terror in my face. Once I had gotten a good look at my expression I fought to change it.
"So," I said with a hint of seriousness in it's tone, "is it my time?"
He did not respond.
"Cause you know, I have always been a fan of your work."
He chuckles a bit before raising his left hand. Within moments, an hourglass had appeared with my name on it. The sand sat at the bottom, meaning my life was over. You could see my frown of discontent distorted on the reflection of the hourglass. "I will bring you back to life on one condition since I'm in a good mood today and I have reached my quota."
I stopped looking at the hour glass and started looking at him. "And that is?"
"You follow me for a bit and experience what my life is like on a daily basis." If he had any eyebrows, I am sure he would be arching one of them in a sort of menacing fashion.
Did I have any choice? It was death or following Death around for a bit. What was the worse that could happen? So I nodded in agreement to his deal. Maybe I got off easy, I mean it is not like he sends every Adventurer back after death, right? He smiled and waved for me to follow him. After I followed him through several corridors, he led me to his main area of action. It was a room with chutes that kind of looked like those you send laundry down. Each were labeled differently: Dead Adventurers, Dead Monsters, Dead NPCs.
The Dead Adventurers chute led to a large red "X" in the center of the floor. Dead Monsters led into a giant furnace which confused me at first, but Death said it was to keep the office warm during the winter seasons. We waited around for a couple of awkward minutes before an Adventurer finally died.
He then sent him back on his way. I was left in complete awe since I had to sit here bored out of mind while they only had to collect hourglasses!
"So," I suck my teeth while swaying back and forth, "this is what you do? Pretty interesting." I tried saying it honestly without sounding to sarcastic.
"Yep." After that more and more Adventurers came and went. They were each different in the way they looked, died, and acted. However, in the end their destination seemed to be to the same place. IMy boredom continued as there was nothing interesting going on. Suddenly, Death gave out a little shrill kind of noise. I perked up in interest before I rushed towards him to see what he was looking at.
"Ooohh, such a CUTE widdle kitty-witty, aren't you? I can't let you stay here, though- someone is bound to miss you at home. Go on back home kitty-witty...bye bye..." he said.
I could not believe it, the most exciting thing during this day was a kitten in a ninja outfit! Afterward, more Adventurers came and went and it had felt like an eternity between each one****. That was it, I had to get out of here before I died of boredom, too. Out of complete desperation, I picked the first door I could find which led me to an infinite hallway of doors. The first one I checked had Cysero in a bathtub with a rubber ducky. On the second attempt, I ended up in the middle of a war between Zorbak and the Adventurers. Third time was the charm right? Wrong. My third attempt had me fall into darkness before smacking my face against something.
When I had opened my eyes I was back at my office. On my desk was a zard tomato sub with a note on it. It read:
"Next time chew your food. Also, make sure to bring me one next time you're down here... Which will be soon... MUWAHAHAHAHA. Just kidding.
Or am I?
Hope you enjoyed the visit. Sincerely, Death. P.S: Don't shake the hourglass."
After I read the note I brought my head against the desk again.
"I am not paid enough to do this kind of stuff."
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*Hehe, we can disregard that previous comment right?
**He actually said "Iz in ur artekul scaren yous 2 defh" but I was dying so *shrugs*.
***Don't act like it hasn't happened to you before.
****Probably because it was? Duh.
< Message edited by Eukara Vox -- 11/11/2009 17:49:47 >
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