Home  | Login  | Register  | Help  | Play 

RE: Compressed Meaning/Translations C&C

  		Logged in as: Guest
  Printable Version
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> RE: Compressed Meaning/Translations C&C
Page 7 of 7«<34567
Forum Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
11/29/2011 8:11:33   
Shreder
Member

New poem:

Curious
DF MQ  Post #: 151
12/14/2011 9:55:54   
Shreder
Member

Another new poem:

We Are the Dead

Comment, suggestions?
DF MQ  Post #: 152
12/14/2011 12:30:31   
Varen6398
Friendly!, Constructive!
Creative!


 I have read 'We are the dead' and it reminded me much of 'In Flanders Fields'. Just because of the name 'We are the dead' which was a line that is also in 'In Flanders Fields'. I liked the rythme of the piece, but the repeated mentioning of the black crows brought the poem a small level. Had the crows not been mentioned twice, I would have found it a very emotive piece, and an even more effective poem about the dead.
DF  Post #: 153
12/14/2011 23:45:00   
Shreder
Member

That repetition was intentional, though hearing what you've said I'm now not entirely sure it was a good idea. I'll give it some thought, and see if anything better presents itself...

Thanks!
DF MQ  Post #: 154
12/17/2011 2:15:17   
Lady Veryon
Member

"We are the dead" resonates with my personal life right now. That's an odd thing, I know, but it does. I like how the words pile on each other, jagged and raw. There's a message, but you haven't lost the feeling. I appreciate that tremendously.
Post #: 155
12/19/2011 1:34:11   
Shreder
Member

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

And now a poem that been floating around my saved files for a couple of years now. Considering that it's almost Frostval I finally decided to touch it up and post it:

Frostval
DF MQ  Post #: 156
12/20/2011 7:52:57   
Shreder
Member

Another new poem:

Thirteen Ways of Looking At Trees

This is one I wrote for school a while back, which is the reason for the particular form and structure.
DF MQ  Post #: 157
12/20/2011 8:16:08   
Varen6398
Friendly!, Constructive!
Creative!


 Both of those are great! I like the form of Frostval (4 lines, ...Frostval), and it has a nice ring to it. Thirteen ways to look at a tree is...different, but it is still great. Were I you, I would try to make the seperate ways to look at the tree have the same amount of lines. It would add a bit more rhythm to the piece (I like to play tunes in my head that go with certain poems, but I can't particularly find a tune for this poem). Apart from that, it is great! Keep up the good work!
DF  Post #: 158
12/20/2011 9:02:35   
Shreder
Member

I'm glad you enjoyed them!

About Trees, I wrote it not as a structured poem but as free form, so you're right in that it doesn't necessarily fit to music--that's just the way I wrote it.

Thanks for taking the time to comment!
DF MQ  Post #: 159
12/29/2011 3:23:42   
Shreder
Member

New poem up!

Twinkle

A simple poem, such as could be read to a child at bedtime. In some ways this takes inspiration from e.e. cummings' "Hist Whist".
DF MQ  Post #: 160
2/28/2012 10:50:47   
Shreder
Member

New poem up:

Sunset
DF MQ  Post #: 161
2/28/2012 11:10:33   
Helixi
Member

It's lovely, beautiful and simple. I have one question, however; what do you mean by a 'tufted floor'?
AQ DF  Post #: 162
2/28/2012 11:37:27   
Shreder
Member

Thanks!

That line refers to the tufts of a carpet.
DF MQ  Post #: 163
2/28/2012 11:53:06   
Helixi
Member

Ah, it makes sense now. :D
AQ DF  Post #: 164
3/5/2012 2:24:20   
Shreder
Member

I have a couple incomplete poems on the back burner, but I decided to set them aside and go through to edit all my early work, as there are many places I now feel changes could improve on the piece as a whole. It's mostly small changes (individual words/lines, stanza splits, and quite a few changes to punctuation) but if anyone want to tell me their thoughts that'd be great.

I've finished editing the first page of poems thus far.

< Message edited by Shreder -- 3/15/2012 0:35:36 >
DF MQ  Post #: 165
3/13/2012 2:03:09   
Shreder
Member

Page two has now been edited. Just about everything has a least one or two small changes to it, I think for the better.

< Message edited by Shreder -- 3/15/2012 0:35:55 >
DF MQ  Post #: 166
4/26/2012 0:59:06   
Shreder
Member

New poem up:

Sometimes I Cannot Help But Sing

Please feel free to leave a comment!
DF MQ  Post #: 167
10/9/2012 12:06:58   
Shreder
Member

Woah, it's been forever since I posted anything here...

Love: A Fragment
DF MQ  Post #: 168
11/20/2012 18:15:44   
Shreder
Member

New poem:

Empathy
DF MQ  Post #: 169
11/21/2012 19:10:25   
Shreder
Member

And another:

Miracle

Comments would be very much appreciated...
DF MQ  Post #: 170
11/21/2012 19:55:17   
Faerdin
Rune Knight


 Sorry. Poetry threads haven't gotten too much love recently. Dx
One thing I love about the poetry I've seen from you is that it all has a very good flow to it. I can read it aloud without stumbling over words that are awkwardly included to ensure that the poem rhymes and the poems in general are just a joy to read. Love: A Fragment is one of my favorites of the ones I've seen so far because... Well, there's a lot of truth in it despite the small amount of words.
AQ DF MQ AQW Epic  Post #: 171
11/23/2012 10:46:08   
Shreder
Member

Thanks Faerdin!

My poems often rhyme (I'm a sucker for structure) but I always try to ensure that the rhyming never feels forced. "Love: A Fragment" was a very spur-of-the-moment thing, but it expressed some definite emotions of mine at the time, and I'm glad you can relate.
DF MQ  Post #: 172
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
All Forums >> [Gaming Community] >> [Legends and Lore] >> Writers of Lore >> Works Discussion >> Other Creative Works Discussion >> RE: Compressed Meaning/Translations C&C
Page 7 of 7«<34567
Jump to:



Advertisement




Icon Legend
New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Forum Content Copyright © 2018 Artix Entertainment, LLC.

"AdventureQuest", "DragonFable", "MechQuest", "EpicDuel", "BattleOn.com", "AdventureQuest Worlds", "Artix Entertainment"
and all game character names are either trademarks or registered trademarks of Artix Entertainment, LLC. All rights are reserved.
PRIVACY POLICY


Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition