Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!
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Bye Bye Mister Pumpkin Pie
by The Legendary Hero
The harvest festival is always a happy time. There's food everywhere, everyone is having a fun time, and the harvest goddess blesses it each year to make sure good tidings follow for Frostvale. But the one thing that saddens me each year are the hundreds of orphaned pies that are thrown away or discarded carelessly before they have a chance to be eaten. Each tasty morsel is left to the wild monsters to enjoy instead of being consumed by hungry inhabitants of BattleOn, Falconreach, Swordhaven, and many other locals. This year I was going out to try once more. I just HAD to rescue some of the orphans this year.
You'd think it would be easy. Just walk up to each house, ask for any pies they don't want, and carry them all off. Right? Oh, would you ever be wrong. For some reason, even though they're going to throw them out, people just can't seem to let go of their soon to be orphaned pies.* No, my errand of mercy was met with swords, maces, spells, and the occasional chucked chair. No one is ever grateful for my service and no matter how I try to explain the situation to them, I always end up with more food on me then they eat.** After ducking into quite a few houses, I only managed to save five little ones from BattleOn and then had to move on to the next town.
I didn't make it very far into Swordhaven. The guards on patrol recognized me from the previous year and chased me out at spear point.
Amityvale wasn't much better. I wasn't able to rescue any pies and came away with only one pumpkin scented health potion for my trouble.
My journey through Falconreach was met with less resistance since I live there, but even then I found out quickly hot gravy makes a really bad skin cream.*** After finally**** reaching Cysero and Warlic's house, getting chased around by mutant laundry, and finding out that neither was there, I decided to head home.
I had collected a total of nine "orphaned" pies in varying flavors, so I assumed that would be enough to ease my conscience. It wasn't much by my standards, the previous year I had "rescued" fifteen or so, but this was as good as I was going to get. Placing them on the table in my kitchen, I sat down and prepared to welcome my new tasty orphans home.*****
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* It's not as if I'm asking for a whole lot when I walk in as they're eating. All I want is to take the pie away before it's left alone. I mean really.
** Contrary to popular belief, mashed potatoes in the hair is not as easy to get out as we've been told.
*** Seriously... don't try.
**** I went to more houses then anyone did at Mogloween. My feet were killing me.
***** OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!!!
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