Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!
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Sentiments for a Season
by Genoclysm
So, apparently the editor wants me to write about Lore's Frostval season this time. Thankfully, the kind editor was generous enough to allow a rant rather than some faked and possibly sarcastic praise. The bottom line is I just don't like it.
Up until I moved to the world of Lore,* and more specifically to Battleon, I had generally lived in more sub-tropical areas. It never got too cold, and I never had to deal with snow before. Now? My teeth are chattering so loudly that I'm giving myself a headache, and in times when the snow has piled up, trudging through it has caused significant delay for me.
Honestly, that isn't nearly the worst of it. The decorations tend to be rather gaudy as well. The color scheme doesn't even make sense. What's all the red for? The only purpose I can think of is some vain attempt to disguise when some adventurer is somehow wounded in order to keep spirits light and festive, never mind that it might lead to a shorter trip to Nowhere.
Don't get me wrong... Time with family and generous spirits are all well and good, but one of my fellow authors could tell you quite well about how those little moglins and elves take advantage of people and this season for marketing purposes. For the sake of readers' sanity, I won't be repeating those complaints here.
In all honesty, the worst part of the season is not even something intended by those that orchestrate the marketing, decorations, and the like. The worst part are the random two-bit villains that try to take it over or ruin it every year. I mean, come on! Zorbak, how long have you been at it? You would think you'd get something right after all this time! No, rather than just demolish the town that started the season's shenanigans** well beforehand, they instead always insist on attacking random locations in the last minute (disrupting the plans of innocent bystanders that don't even care for the holiday in the process), and then steal all the dangerous weapons packed in ribbons and bows...
Actually, can someone explain that to me? Why in the world would anyone stick a sharp, pointy, and possibly quite deadly sword into a colorful and decorated box, wrap the whole thing in ribbons and bows, and then have the gall to call it a present when it clearly has a price tag? And what about the pets? Why hasn't anyone busted them for animal cruelty?! Oh right, I said I wouldn't complain about the moglins and frost elves... Please excuse me.
Overall, it is just an aggravating season with a downright absurd holiday that only serves the purpose of instigating the last poor attempt at villainy of the year. As annoying as the snow is, I'm aware that this is a part of nature and really shouldn't be tampered with, but can we at least ditch the nonsensical festivities?
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* I know some of you must be just dying to crack some alien jokes. Well you can visit Nowhere and get brought back by some random necromancer all you want, I still won't want to hear them. It's not like non-natives are rare to this world.
** And you, Mr. IceMasterYeti. Don't think I've forgotten that you are ultimately to blame! You may eventually find that you have a "gift" from me...
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