Eukara Vox
Legendary AdventureGuide!
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Grumpy Gus
by The Legendary Hero
It was a few days before Hero's Heart Day, the most loving and peaceful* day of the year. I had recently gotten a message from Big Daddy asking for help. He wasn't too clear in the message, but from the tone he wrote it in,** I knew it couldn't be good.
I noticed a few Snugvils on my way there, but none of them seemed to be doing anything horrid. They looked as if they were busy with their pink boxes and, for some reason, more protective of them as I walked by. Big Daddy was waiting for me on his usual barrel with his two silent assistants behind him.
"Oh! Ash! I'm glad you got here so quickly. Something terrible is happening, even worse then anything else that's happened so far!"
Thinking back I wondered how anything could be worse then a giant immortal heart and releasing an ancient vampire, but not wanting to spoil his lead in, I let him continue.
"A hero, I'm sad to say it, is taking Snuggle-grams from us. I don't know why, but he seemed almost happy when he took a whole crate full and ran off. None of us could stop him!"
"Weird," I replied. "I've never known anyone so desperate for a Snuggle-gram that they ran off with a whole crate before...the candy alone doesn't make me want to."
Big Daddy glared at me for a moment then continued.
"I don't know why he's doing it, but you need to stop him. If you don't, Hero's Heart Day will be ruined!"
"Alright," I told him. "I'll be back soon since I usually never find any clues the first time out. It's usually the third or fourth time when I'm almost ready to set a trap that I do...but I'll give it my best to start."***
I began my search at the scene of the crime. Inspecting the grass where a crate had been, I noticed a few foot prints that looked strangely like my own. Realizing they were, I backed up a bit and saw another set. Following them around I realized that the culprit skipped over several boxes on the way to this one, each heavily loaded with candy and cards. Poking around it I saw that they were glued shut, obviously tampered with since I don't think anyone that works for Big Daddy would glue a box shut of things they want to sell.
Exploring a bit more, I came across a fellow hero lazily wandering around a set of untouched crates. He seemed to be interested in one off to the side. I immediately jumped into a bush****, trying to remain unseen. He seemed to have heard me as he quickly looked up, noticing a boot twitching painfully outside of the bush, and took off. I extracted myself as gracefully and as quickly as I could, then took off after him.
He was fast, and seemed to know his way around the forest. It took several minutes to catch up to him after being pelted in the face with old, stale, candy. My eyes a bit crusted over with sugar, I jumped and tackled him, pushing him into a nearby bush. Seeing that he was stuck I pulled him out, dusted him off, and asked a few questions.
"Why are you snooping around Big Daddy's open-air warehouse?"
"Because I wanted to take another crate of Snuggle-grams," he replied. "I have never gotten one and it makes me hate this holiday. I want to make sure no one else gets one and is as miserable as I am."
"You're serious? You want to take away old greeting cards and gross candy that no one ever eats to make you feel better for never having a loved one spend and buy you a card they could have gotten at Yul-mart for ten times cheaper? Most likely saving their money to take you out for a nice dinner instead?"
"Oh..." he said. "You know...when you say it like that it seems like just getting those cards makes people sad... Far be it from me to keep that from them. Come on, I need some help to return them."
I followed him to a nearby cave, fought off some VurrMan who were trying to pry open the boxes, and helped the "hero" carry the stolen goods back to Big Daddy.
"You did it Ash! Hero's Heart Day is saved!" Big Daddy cried, seeing me walk up. "Why, you even caught the villain who did this dastardly deed!"
"He's not really a villain, and he's not dastardly," I replied. "He just didn't know the real meaning of Hero's Heart Day that's all."
I looked over at my companion who set his boxes on the ground and reached out to shake Big Daddy's hand.
"The name's Gus, most of my friends call me Grumpy around this time of year though. Dunnoh why."
"Why hello there Grumpy," Big Daddy replied. "If you've learned your lesson I'm sure we can be friends and you can even make it up to me by helping to deliver some of my cards and delicious candy to the towns people."
I gagged a little when he said "delicious," making Gus laugh a bit, but in the end he agreed. As we walked away to get Gus suited up for deliveries, he turned to me.
"I'm glad I get to deliver these things," he said, shaking his head. "They were really taking up storage space in my closet and I couldn't stand the taste of these 'treats.'"
"Not many can," I replied. "Not many at all."
With Gus suited up, and my order placed*****, I headed home. Not only would I not be getting any Snuggle-Grams this year, I wouldn't have to deliver any either with Gus around to help out. It really would turn out to be a happy Hero's Heart Day after all.
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* Ha, right. As if bad guys could leave a day all about good and love alone.
** The swirly font and outrageously pink letters made it very, VERY serious in nature.
*** Seriously. Every time I try, I usually miss something so obvious that it makes me feel like I missed a gorilla in a pink tutu running past me on an open field.
**** THORNS!!! Note to self...watch where you leap..and next time aim for a shrubbery.
***** What? I have extra gold left over and I made sure not to add any candy to my order.
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